Please don’t. Just don’t.

A recently I’ve had requests for my physical address so that people can send me cards. I never really know how to handle this issue. I don’t really know some of the people who have asked me. They’re readers of my stuff and, well, I’m sure most of them are sane. Others are closer net friends that I know are the good kind of crazy, but…well…still…

Heavy sigh.

Please don’t mail me Christmas cards, birthday cards or New Years cards or anything like that. Please. I appreciate the sentiment and I appreciate the beauty of the cards, but here’s what happens.

Everyone else in the world is 10 gazzillion times more organized than I am. I will forget about all of these holidays until BLAM they’re right on top of me. So, now I have all of these expensive cards around me and a huge guilt trip because my disorganized self couldn’t mail you a card. First, I have a mother; I don’t need more guilt in my life. But, that’s not the worst of it.

The worst of it is that I’ll spend the next umpteeth months avoiding you because I’ll spend any conversations with you thinking, “I didn’t mail them a card. They mailed me a card and I didn’t mail them one. How did that make them feel?” I’ll beat myself up over my organizational skills and absent mindedness all the while avoiding you.

I’m also trying to declutter my life so that maybe I’ll be organized enough find myself one day, so this means I feel doubly guilty when I have to throw away the card.

So, please, save the stamp, save the money, save the trip to the store and save the gas to the post office. Please. I beg you.

But, I understand that some people feel like they must send something. They must. They have to. It’s a compulsion for them.

All right, how about a compromise? Send e-cards if you must send one. They’re cheap, easy on the environment, require no trips to the store or post office and really easy on my conscience. Why is that? If I log in to my computer on Christmas day (or whatever holiday) and you’ve sent me an e-card, I can send you one right back that very day. No guilt. No problem.

They’re nice. They have a huge collection and you can personalize them. Hell, even American Greetings does ecards now. These are great for you super organized people because you can schedule your cards in advance while slackers like me can send them that day.

So if you must send me a card, send me an e-card. Please. Pretty please with sexy men on top?