The Problems with having a Priest Fetish

There are several problems associated with having a priest fetish. First, it's DAMN hard to find good priest erotica. As a general rule, I won't publicly complain about someone else's writing. I feel that's unprofessional. However, I've not liked most of what I've found and what I have liked is from a writer who REFUSES to post her stuff and share it with the world (or try to get professionally published.) So, if you know of some good gay priest smut, PLEASE, tell me.

The second problem is that it's difficult to take religious matters seriously if you have the visual. My religious path is an odd mixture of this, that and the other thing. Lately, I've been considering attending mass, because it's one of the few I haven't attended in person. Do you have ANY idea how difficult that is when you find all that imagery a turn on? >.< I can't even look for churches with old and unattractive priests, because the imagery is STILL there.

Another problem is trying to keep it hot without being sacrilegious. The beauty of religious erotica is that it is not blasphemy.

Yet another problem is figuring out which storylines are played out. Is a timid torn priest tired or is an aggressive, assertive and confident priest tired? As a general rule, I do not like the erotica that has the priest going from "hello" to opening his robes in a breath. That destroys my willing suspension of disbelief and as I'm getting to know some priests (yes, I'm actually making friends with priests. No, I do not hide my priest fetish. Yes, I'm being smart and friending only gay priests. *sweatdrop* And that just might be backfiring on me. Oh it's helpful to prevent anything physical from happening, but my MIND is running so fast I can't keep up with it.) But, as I'm getting to know some priests, I'm finding out that they aren't anything like I expected. The percentage that actually keeps that promise of celibacy is…well…small enough to REALLY make you wonder about those seminaries.

This is further complicated by all of the "it's no fun if…" stuff. It's no fun if the priest is a non-celibate priest. (Yes, there are Catholic priests who have not taken a vow or promise of celibacy.) It's no fun if they aren't Catholic priests (Episcopalian priests have the right look, but none of that forbidden fruit thing going on.) It's no fun if they aren't in that SEXY collar and don't even get me started on how unbelievably sexy cassocks are. *bites knuckle* It's no fun if they're straight. Yes, there are plenty of people out there who fully appreciate the sexiness of a straight priest, but for me I want that straight priest either being pursued by another man or longing for one (even if it's just idle curiosity and exploration.)

It also makes it damn hard to write a sex scene with Father Daniel. I want him in his clerical shirt for it, but I also don't want to force that into the story. Also thinking about him tied up on a bed all wanting and full of lust is enough to…well…let's just say you DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT write good erotica one-handed. (Take care of business and then return to the writing or write it and then take care of business, but do not do both at the same time.)

As you can obviously tell, I'm really picky about my priest erotica. Can anyone else feel my pain with this?

EDIT: (updated:4/1/2011)

Judging by the stats, this is a very popular post. It seems a lot of people are seeking religious erotica and/or priest erotica. I have a short (and cheap) title out called Personal Demon .

Here's the blurb:

Temptation in an alb...

Those of the most devout faith face private struggles. When the man inside the priest fights carnal desires, the priest can only pray he has the inner fortitude to resist. Eve succumbed to the serpent. Adam succumbed to the apple. Now, Father Blake Krey stands in a private Garden of Eden tempted by his own Personal Demon.

If you read it, I hope you enjoy it. If you don't read it, I hope you find something that you do enjoy.