This morning I subbed "Personal Demon" to ED for a special edition in January 2008.
One day in the life of one priest's struggle to find harmony in a life of faith and carnal desires.
I went all out with the 9,000 words for this call of submission. And by “all out” I mean, I may have gone too far. I don’t think it’s too far for ED, because I don’t think I’m capable of writing something too far for them. They’re one of the most daring pubs out there and I think it’s their format that lets them take these kinds of risks. However, this story is way too far for most publishers.
In this title, I hope I’ve really captured the struggle of temptation and what’s not to like about priest in a cassock being tempted by a deacon in liturgical clothing inside the kitchen of the church while waiting for the bishop to show up? I mean…come ON it doesn’t get any better than that! (Or worse than that, depending on how you look at it.)
Ok, that’s not really enough judge the story is it?
In 9,000 words, I covered these fetishes: Religious themes, candle play, water play (not golden), autoerotic S&M, D/s, food play, temperature play, spanking and something with a rubber band that I'm not sure what to call other than non-binding CBT.
Yep, I’m going to hell. And, yes, I ate a celebratory cookie.
Oh, but to make my ticket to hell an express one. I have the deacon tempting the priest with a strawberry while the priest wonders if the tree had been planted in the garden for a reason. Come on…do I have to spell it out any clearer than THAT? Ok, fine, does it help hammer the point home if I tell you the priest refers to the deacon as his personal apple? I feel creatively evil when I think of this wicked little story. (Secretly hopes God curves the test scores when it comes to fiction.)
With a beginning like this…
He was not a kind lover to himself. He knew this. The acknowledgement didn’t make him stop, but…well…there’s something to be said for knowing one’s sins.
…if you’re not expecting kink, then you don’t know erotica. Basically, this story let me ask and answer what would happen if Anand gave Daniel everything Daniel thought he wanted. No, these characters aren’t Anand and Daniel, but I wanted to toy with someone who didn’t have the limitations that Anand has.
Here’s the berry temptation bit (author-only editing):
The smell of cologne returned and a strawberry appeared before Father Blake’s nose. The deep red skin promised sweetness. At least they’d decided to not include apple slices on the fruit tray.
“Try one. They’re quite good.” Gianni inched the strawberry closer to Blake’s lips.
With just the coolness from the berry registering to his skin, Father Blake turned his head to face the pursuer he didn’t want to evade. “This isn’t wise, Gianni.”
“It’s just a berry, Blake.” Gianni turned his hand and bit off the tip of the strawberry. A mist of juice settled upon his lips as he chewed it exactly twice before swallowing. The tip of his tongue traced the bite mark and dipped into the center of the fruit.
Blake’s knees nearly betrayed him.
“Just a…” Gianni returned the berry to Blake’s lips. “…a berry. A sweet one.”
The edge of the bite mark traced Blake’s lips. The sweet aroma of the fruit filled his nostrils. The tree had been planted in the garden for a reason, right? For the life of him, Father Blake couldn’t remember why. Liquid sweetness from the berry slicked across his lips. When he darted his tongue out to taste the residue, his tongue tagged the side of the berry.
Gianni, apparently, wouldn’t let that slip by.
The dimpled skin of the strawberry slid between Blake’s lips. Equal amounts of tart and sweet put a tang upon his tongue. With his eyes locked with Gianni’s, he pushed his tongue into the hollow of the berry, mashing the fruit’s flesh as he tasted it. Juice from the berry flooded his mouth and dribbled over his lips to his chin. The actual taste of the strawberry barely registered to his mind, but he knew this had to be the best tasting strawberry of his life.
Gianni’s fingers, still holding the top of the fruit, pressed against Blake’s lips. Drawing his tongue back, Blake took the berry deeply into his mouth. The fruit split upon his tongue as he crushed it against the roof of his mouth. Father Blake closed his eyes.
Twice in half as many days, the serpent bit him.
Tiny seeds crunched between Blake’s molars as he snatched Gianni’s wrist. Pulp slid on the back of his tongue when he kissed Gianni’s palm. The tip of his nose tucked between two fingers and he swallowed what remained in his mouth. Before he realized what he was doing, he licked the center crease of the Gianni’s palm. His tongue roamed and pushed as if it were trying to find more fruit. Opening his eyes, he found his vision flanked by Gianni’s fingers and filled with the light gleaming off the deacon’s cross lapel pin on the open black blazer.
Wincing, he pushed the hand away and cut his eyes up. Why now? Caught in a choke-hold by his burden, he sputtered, “Kiss me.”
I hope ED accepts this story. It’s gonna be tough to find another publisher who lets me push the envelope like I have with this one.
The biggest problem with this story was merging the first 1200 words with the rest. This story started out as a very short one shot that was very smoke and mirrors and heavy with the symbolism. It’s not a voice I normally use and although I maintained the symbolism, I think I kind of dropped the ball on the voice a little bit. Then again, I may have not dropped the ball. The first 1200 words is just one character and it’s easy to let them get lost in their own thoughts and issues when that’s going on. So…well…we’ll see. I’m still giddy that I finished it on time and with what I think is damn good work.
In other news…
I just had my post-op follow up and I’m healing just fine. No infections and no worries. I intend on getting back into the writing process series tonight. Hopefully, I'll have a post ready shortly for that.