Warning: this blog post might come across as snobbish or elitist. It might enrage or offend.
Edit: This turned into a lengthy and interesting conversation on my LiveJournal.
When I learn about things like Playing for Change, I’m reminded of what art is supposed to be. Writers aren’t supposed to crank out drivel to make a buck. Visual artists shouldn’t slap just any crap on a canvas. Musicians shouldn’t belt out soulless sounds.
I think that’s why “selling out” hurts so much. Art is a gift to the world. Even if it doesn’t suit someone’s personal tastes, it’s still a present. A little treasure that should move people. It should “strike a chord” inside the audience.
By all means artists should be paid for their work. “Feel goods” and “Warm fuzzies” aren’t accepted as currency at the local grocery store. But, I watch some people work their craft and I wonder if they’re cheating themselves and their audience.
Not all art needs to move people to tears. Not all of it needs to initiate a moment of deep reflection. There’s nothing wrong with producing something for the sole purpose of entertaining. It saddens me and cheapens the art world when people produce work solely for the commercial value.
Grandpa Elliot’s voice sends waves of chills down my arms. I listen to him and there’s so much more there than just a talented voice. There’s some unknown, untouchable, unnamable special quality to him. An endearing charm hitchhikes upon his voice and reaches into my heart. If I could, I’d hug him and thank him for the gift he and Playing for Change has given the world.
Playing for Change also reminds us of the power behind art. (Perhaps the power that serves as the impetus for art?) Artists hold within their talents the ability to bring about change. We can speak for peace or war. We can hold a mirror up to the world and ask the audience, “Is this what you really want? No? Then do something about it.”
Some may say that such things are easy when one is a photojournalist covering a famine or a journalist writing a story about the victims of natural disaster. Some may say that I’m a hypocrite for writing this blog post. After all I’m just an erotica writer.
Erotica writers still wield this power. Can we not address social issues in our work? Can we not show the ugly faces of war and oppression? Can we not reveal the joy of love and the fecundity hope? Can we not do work like Coming Together With Pride and produce work for charity? Entertaining for a purpose.
Furthermore, can we do it without preaching?
We all start with the same tools: words, color, sound. Now, what are we doing with it?
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Indie Book Awards, Full Circle, Personal Demon
I’m approximately 2,000 words into Full Circle II: Changeling. I’ve often said that writing gets it down and editing makes it pretty, but accepting that as I’m writing is difficult. I find myself staring at sentences and thinking, “Is something really missing or do I just think something is missing; and thus, cause something to be missing?” That’s the kind of logic that sends me to coffee pot or laundry room for a little bit.
I need to remember to just write when I’m writing and edit when I’m editing. There’s a lot of truth in what Oscar Wilde said, “I was working on the proof of one of my poems all morning and took out a comma. In the afternoon, I put it back in again.”
I’m sure my pace will pick up once I’m into the meat of the story. The establishing scenes sometimes feel a bit tedious during the first go through. What do you mean I can’t just jump to this scene and then *poof* magically jump to another scene and expect the reader to follow and understand?
In other news, Personal Demon is on All Romance now with reader reviews of 4 out of 5 on overall enjoyment and 4 out of 5 for sensuality. ^_^
Coming Together: With Pride is a finalist for the 2009 Next Generation Indie Book Awards. Interestingly, not in the erotica category, but in the anthology and e-book fiction categories. Woohoo!
On a personal front, I’m totally addicted to the song “Boom Boom Ba” by Metisse.
I need to remember to just write when I’m writing and edit when I’m editing. There’s a lot of truth in what Oscar Wilde said, “I was working on the proof of one of my poems all morning and took out a comma. In the afternoon, I put it back in again.”
I’m sure my pace will pick up once I’m into the meat of the story. The establishing scenes sometimes feel a bit tedious during the first go through. What do you mean I can’t just jump to this scene and then *poof* magically jump to another scene and expect the reader to follow and understand?
In other news, Personal Demon is on All Romance now with reader reviews of 4 out of 5 on overall enjoyment and 4 out of 5 for sensuality. ^_^
Coming Together: With Pride is a finalist for the 2009 Next Generation Indie Book Awards. Interestingly, not in the erotica category, but in the anthology and e-book fiction categories. Woohoo!
On a personal front, I’m totally addicted to the song “Boom Boom Ba” by Metisse.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Don’t Black or White Me
This post is will not be about the controversy surrounding the last years of his life. This post will not be about his eccentric ways. This post will be about the musical genius Michael Jackson.
Specifically in regards to his Thriller, Bad, and Dangerously albums Michael Jackson, in my opinion, was a master at percussion. The use of percussion and the variety of percussion in his matured sound is phenomenal. It’s a sound that I’ve not yet heard duplicated. In Michael Jackson’s work, percussion wasn’t merely the bass line. He used it to not only set the timing of the piece, but to manipulate the timing and manipulate how the audience followed the timing.
When an artist creates, their work is not their own. I don’t mean in a “collaborative effort” sense, but in a larger sense. When an artist, musician, or writer places their work in the heart and soul of the audience, the work takes on a new life. The audience member now has the responsibility to receive, interpret, and place their own world view upon it.
Michael Jackson’s use of percussion was a direct line to the audience--an unbroken connection between artist and art. A primal heartbeat underlined, permeated, and accented his work.
Not only did he fully understand the power of sound, he understood the equally powerful flipside: silence. His use of silence is another layer of his music that is unparalleled, at least in my perspective. In order for light to be powerful it must relinquish some power to shadow. In order for color to move our hearts it must yield to “void zones”. The weight of words upon our minds is directly related to the “white space” around it. As we drown in the “wall of sound” that has seemed to infect modern music, silence has become even more powerful.
Michael Jackson masterfully created with both sound and silence.
He was also a master of the metaphor. From heavy handed to subtle, he guided us through his political pieces. He presented the facts as he saw them and left it up to us to carry message. And some of us have been carrying the message from “We Are The World” for twenty-four years.
Although I could never be accused of being a Michael Jackson fangirl, I can appreciate his genius. His death is the world’s loss.
Specifically in regards to his Thriller, Bad, and Dangerously albums Michael Jackson, in my opinion, was a master at percussion. The use of percussion and the variety of percussion in his matured sound is phenomenal. It’s a sound that I’ve not yet heard duplicated. In Michael Jackson’s work, percussion wasn’t merely the bass line. He used it to not only set the timing of the piece, but to manipulate the timing and manipulate how the audience followed the timing.
When an artist creates, their work is not their own. I don’t mean in a “collaborative effort” sense, but in a larger sense. When an artist, musician, or writer places their work in the heart and soul of the audience, the work takes on a new life. The audience member now has the responsibility to receive, interpret, and place their own world view upon it.
Michael Jackson’s use of percussion was a direct line to the audience--an unbroken connection between artist and art. A primal heartbeat underlined, permeated, and accented his work.
Not only did he fully understand the power of sound, he understood the equally powerful flipside: silence. His use of silence is another layer of his music that is unparalleled, at least in my perspective. In order for light to be powerful it must relinquish some power to shadow. In order for color to move our hearts it must yield to “void zones”. The weight of words upon our minds is directly related to the “white space” around it. As we drown in the “wall of sound” that has seemed to infect modern music, silence has become even more powerful.
Michael Jackson masterfully created with both sound and silence.
He was also a master of the metaphor. From heavy handed to subtle, he guided us through his political pieces. He presented the facts as he saw them and left it up to us to carry message. And some of us have been carrying the message from “We Are The World” for twenty-four years.
Although I could never be accused of being a Michael Jackson fangirl, I can appreciate his genius. His death is the world’s loss.
Saturday, April 04, 2009
Tweets, tweets, and more tweets.
I've caved. I've given into Twitter.
One more thing for me to fail to update, huh? Maybe I can manage 140 characters.
http://twitter.com/cupnjava
One more thing for me to fail to update, huh? Maybe I can manage 140 characters.
http://twitter.com/cupnjava
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Disagreeing with an Editor
Rehtaek11 asked me a question that I think will make an interesting blog post.
Does the company that publishes your work ever make demands that you… change your work in a way that you don't like?
This has happened to me. There has been editorial advice that I initially thought was rooted in the deep end of the Insanity Pool.
The first time this happened to me was with the first edition of Full Circle. I held a great deal of respect for my editor there and told her that I thought she was bonkers for her suggestion, but I’d give it my best shot.
It’s been a while since Full Circle was out for public consumption, but do you guys and gals remember the scene where Byron is speaking to Pebble? Tami planted that seed of creativity. Yes, I created Pebble. Yes, I wrote the scene. But, when she told me that the scene fell flat because of all the inner dialog and reflection coming from Byron and that he needed to talk to someone or do something to make it interesting (“hell, have him talk to the bird”), the creative juices started to flow.
I went back (all the while muttering about how crazy my editor was and telling her so) and crafted Pebble. The friendly neighborhood oh-dear-God-please-let-it-just-be-a-bird-but-we-all-know-Cup-is-up-to-something-creepy Pebble. I then wrote the scenes with Pebble thinking they were going to fail miserably. (Too cryptic? Too obvious? Too batshit insane?) When I finished the scenes, I’d surprised myself. I loved those scenes. I think they really work and add another layer to the novel. And...yes...I told her so. I even let her do the “I told you so dance” and gloat about it.
When I was working on Personal Demon the editor insisted that a condom be used. I didn’t want a condom in the scene and countered. She countered. I was about to counter and realized that I really didn’t want a reputation of being a PITA author and really wanted more contracts with Freya’s Bower (Karen didn’t threaten me or anything), but most importantly, I realized that, Holy crap the lady had a point…kind of...sort of...
I went back and added the condom to the story. I still don’t like the condom being there. Karen saw the implications in the story that support the condom. I didn’t see them and felt that the condom solidifies what I never intended to be there.
So, why didn’t I put my foot down and refuse to allow a condom?
Because with editors you must pick your battles.
The presence of the condom, in my eyes, does change the story, but not to the point where I feel detached from the story. I still feel like it’s my story. I think it adds an element of premeditation that shouldn’t be there. Karen’s point is that the premeditation was always there. I can see that. I can see my point too. Bottom line: fighting over the condom just wasn’t worth it. It’s a short fun story and, generally speaking, I like condoms in erotic fiction.
Let’s go forward again with the editing for the second edition of Full Circle. The editor I’m working with at Freya’s Bower made a suggestion that I thought was a complete deal breaker. She wanted me to eliminate something from the story that I refused to do. Putting my foot down on this particular aspect was worth risking my contract being canceled. It was worth risking not getting another contract with Freya’s Bower. It was worth all feasible consequences. In my rebuttal (two typed pages explaining the importance of the item in question, reviewer feedback about the item in question, and reader feedback of the item in question) and she told me that it was fine. She still doesn’t like it and still wants it changed, but she’s willing to let me have my way with this.
We hadn’t had a dispute before that and we haven’t had one since. I respect her and she knows that. I feel that she respects me. Marci is just awesome like that.
I picked my battle here and I picked it carefully.
In these three cases we resolved the issue in a professional manner, but what happens when the editor and the writer can’t agree?
In some cases the issue is brought to the Executive Managing Editor. Basically, taken up with the editor’s boss and a decision is made and the editor and author are put back to work on the title. Sometimes a writer will be assigned another editor. In extreme cases, the contract is cancelled by the publisher or by the author.
I’m not willing to bother a boss or get accustomed to another editor over a condom. I’m willing to show deference to my editor’s experience in most cases. But every so often there’s something so critical to the story that it’s worth the risk of having to find another publishing house and editor.
Does the company that publishes your work ever make demands that you… change your work in a way that you don't like?
This has happened to me. There has been editorial advice that I initially thought was rooted in the deep end of the Insanity Pool.
The first time this happened to me was with the first edition of Full Circle. I held a great deal of respect for my editor there and told her that I thought she was bonkers for her suggestion, but I’d give it my best shot.
It’s been a while since Full Circle was out for public consumption, but do you guys and gals remember the scene where Byron is speaking to Pebble? Tami planted that seed of creativity. Yes, I created Pebble. Yes, I wrote the scene. But, when she told me that the scene fell flat because of all the inner dialog and reflection coming from Byron and that he needed to talk to someone or do something to make it interesting (“hell, have him talk to the bird”), the creative juices started to flow.
I went back (all the while muttering about how crazy my editor was and telling her so) and crafted Pebble. The friendly neighborhood oh-dear-God-please-let-it-just-be-a-bird-but-we-all-know-Cup-is-up-to-something-creepy Pebble. I then wrote the scenes with Pebble thinking they were going to fail miserably. (Too cryptic? Too obvious? Too batshit insane?) When I finished the scenes, I’d surprised myself. I loved those scenes. I think they really work and add another layer to the novel. And...yes...I told her so. I even let her do the “I told you so dance” and gloat about it.
When I was working on Personal Demon the editor insisted that a condom be used. I didn’t want a condom in the scene and countered. She countered. I was about to counter and realized that I really didn’t want a reputation of being a PITA author and really wanted more contracts with Freya’s Bower (Karen didn’t threaten me or anything), but most importantly, I realized that, Holy crap the lady had a point…kind of...sort of...
I went back and added the condom to the story. I still don’t like the condom being there. Karen saw the implications in the story that support the condom. I didn’t see them and felt that the condom solidifies what I never intended to be there.
So, why didn’t I put my foot down and refuse to allow a condom?
Because with editors you must pick your battles.
The presence of the condom, in my eyes, does change the story, but not to the point where I feel detached from the story. I still feel like it’s my story. I think it adds an element of premeditation that shouldn’t be there. Karen’s point is that the premeditation was always there. I can see that. I can see my point too. Bottom line: fighting over the condom just wasn’t worth it. It’s a short fun story and, generally speaking, I like condoms in erotic fiction.
Let’s go forward again with the editing for the second edition of Full Circle. The editor I’m working with at Freya’s Bower made a suggestion that I thought was a complete deal breaker. She wanted me to eliminate something from the story that I refused to do. Putting my foot down on this particular aspect was worth risking my contract being canceled. It was worth risking not getting another contract with Freya’s Bower. It was worth all feasible consequences. In my rebuttal (two typed pages explaining the importance of the item in question, reviewer feedback about the item in question, and reader feedback of the item in question) and she told me that it was fine. She still doesn’t like it and still wants it changed, but she’s willing to let me have my way with this.
We hadn’t had a dispute before that and we haven’t had one since. I respect her and she knows that. I feel that she respects me. Marci is just awesome like that.
I picked my battle here and I picked it carefully.
In these three cases we resolved the issue in a professional manner, but what happens when the editor and the writer can’t agree?
In some cases the issue is brought to the Executive Managing Editor. Basically, taken up with the editor’s boss and a decision is made and the editor and author are put back to work on the title. Sometimes a writer will be assigned another editor. In extreme cases, the contract is cancelled by the publisher or by the author.
I’m not willing to bother a boss or get accustomed to another editor over a condom. I’m willing to show deference to my editor’s experience in most cases. But every so often there’s something so critical to the story that it’s worth the risk of having to find another publishing house and editor.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Stewart and Cramer
I just finished watching the full Stewart and Cramer interview on www.thedailyshow.com. Normally, I don’t recommend getting news from Jon Stewart. Yes, he’s informative. Yes, he offers a unique perspective on world events. Yes, he’s entertaining. However, he’s a comedian. He’s not news.
But! This interview is exceptional.
If I could, I’d thank Cramer for agreeing to the interview. I gained some respect for the man. I feel like he was honest with Stewart. We cannot change the past. Experts will make mistakes. It’s positively refreshing to watch someone say, “We screwed up.” (NOT a direct quote) It’s even more refreshing to watch a professional say, “It’s legal, but it’s shenanigans and should be stopped. And, furthermore, I once participated in it.” (NOT a direct quote)
Bravo Cramer. Bravo for admitting your mistakes. Bravo for admitting CNBC could have done more. Bravo for listening and not blaming “loser homeowners”. Bravo, Jon Stewart, for being so damn insightful.
What happened to our news when I feel like in-depth reporting comes from a comedian? When did fancy graphics and an interactive map replace good solid reporting? When did the news become bloated with commentary and opinion and bereft of fact and investigation?
Hey, news networks! If I want commentary and opinion, I’ll read a damn blog. If I’m tuning into the news, I want news. Yes, interview people, but don’t assume they’re being honest. If Jon Steward and Stephen Colbert can pull clips from the past showing contradictions, why can’t you? And, for crying out loud, please stop playing the freaking commentary and opinion on the screen while the real news scrolls across the bottom.
Our economy is in shambles. I don’t pretend to understand how we got here, but with three 24-hours news networks and two 24-hour financial news networks, shouldn’t someone be reporting on the dirty backroom deals on Wall Street? Shouldn’t someone shine some light on the shady-but-legal artificial means of manipulating the market? Why does it feel like the people who most believe in a free market economy are the ones who artificially control and manipulate it?
Has Wall Street abandoned ethics? Did Wall Street ever have ethics?
But! This interview is exceptional.
If I could, I’d thank Cramer for agreeing to the interview. I gained some respect for the man. I feel like he was honest with Stewart. We cannot change the past. Experts will make mistakes. It’s positively refreshing to watch someone say, “We screwed up.” (NOT a direct quote) It’s even more refreshing to watch a professional say, “It’s legal, but it’s shenanigans and should be stopped. And, furthermore, I once participated in it.” (NOT a direct quote)
Bravo Cramer. Bravo for admitting your mistakes. Bravo for admitting CNBC could have done more. Bravo for listening and not blaming “loser homeowners”. Bravo, Jon Stewart, for being so damn insightful.
What happened to our news when I feel like in-depth reporting comes from a comedian? When did fancy graphics and an interactive map replace good solid reporting? When did the news become bloated with commentary and opinion and bereft of fact and investigation?
Hey, news networks! If I want commentary and opinion, I’ll read a damn blog. If I’m tuning into the news, I want news. Yes, interview people, but don’t assume they’re being honest. If Jon Steward and Stephen Colbert can pull clips from the past showing contradictions, why can’t you? And, for crying out loud, please stop playing the freaking commentary and opinion on the screen while the real news scrolls across the bottom.
Our economy is in shambles. I don’t pretend to understand how we got here, but with three 24-hours news networks and two 24-hour financial news networks, shouldn’t someone be reporting on the dirty backroom deals on Wall Street? Shouldn’t someone shine some light on the shady-but-legal artificial means of manipulating the market? Why does it feel like the people who most believe in a free market economy are the ones who artificially control and manipulate it?
Has Wall Street abandoned ethics? Did Wall Street ever have ethics?
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Crazytrain off-loading at Crazytown
Hi again.
(Insert litany of excuses for not blogging)
With all the authors wigging out, tweaking out, flipping out, and flaking out in obvious and subtle ways, it makes a gal a little nervous to blog. Shit, what if I’m batshit insane too, but I don’t know it? LOL We all have our hidden crazy, right? Maybe we like the Saiyuki collector “action figures” to be a certain freaking way on our bookshelves and we’re a bit miffed because we currently don’t have the room to place them JUST SO. Or maybe we turn into Ultima "Bitch from Hell" when our working time is interrupted for stupid shit. (Are you bleeding? Is someone dying? Is something on fire? No? It’s not an emergency, fuck off.) Or maybe I’m showing a bit too much of my hidden crazy right now. LOL
If we live, work, and play on the internet long enough we will eventually type something that sounded oh-so-good at the time. A few years later and…shit…it’s still there. We hope it gets buried in the bowels of google, but it’s still THERE.
But, sometimes there is a group of people who tend to reveal their crazy a bit too often and too frequently. Authors are one of those groups of people. We start writing and all of sudden we start smoking (anyone seen my lighter…the one shaped like a coffee cup?), then we get way too many cats (the four in this house are fine btw and the crapload outside seem to be fine too.), then we start drinking (OMG Blue, the mandarin vodka was awesome!), then comes absinthe, then drugs, and finally we off ourselves.
Did I REALLY thoroughly think about this career path?
Speaking of career paths, while I was off working and dealing with life, I missed a pretty important announcement. Metaldog/Irondog (anyone know what penname she’s using for her work? I forgot to ask on the phone last night) has TWO contracts with TQ! How awesome is that? Good job, MD! We’re all cheering for you, dear. (Hope you thought about this career path.)
But, I thought I’d check in with everyone and let ya’ll know that I still have the same level of crazy that I’ve always had. So far, I’ve not experienced any alien abductions or revelations from God. My spiritual life is what it has always been: sometimes I go to Mass, sometimes I go to church, sometimes I go to drum circle, and sometimes I look at the wall and think I should be doing something else (playing a lvl 80 holy spec priest does not get one closer to God BTW). The dog next door, Sam, isn’t talking to me. There’s no grape Kool-Aid in the house and no one is getting castrated. Furthermore, I have no intention of walking away from my keyboard or genre. I’m just much, much slower than before due to this nerve problem that will, probably, never go away.
(Insert litany of excuses for not blogging)
With all the authors wigging out, tweaking out, flipping out, and flaking out in obvious and subtle ways, it makes a gal a little nervous to blog. Shit, what if I’m batshit insane too, but I don’t know it? LOL We all have our hidden crazy, right? Maybe we like the Saiyuki collector “action figures” to be a certain freaking way on our bookshelves and we’re a bit miffed because we currently don’t have the room to place them JUST SO. Or maybe we turn into Ultima "Bitch from Hell" when our working time is interrupted for stupid shit. (Are you bleeding? Is someone dying? Is something on fire? No? It’s not an emergency, fuck off.) Or maybe I’m showing a bit too much of my hidden crazy right now. LOL
If we live, work, and play on the internet long enough we will eventually type something that sounded oh-so-good at the time. A few years later and…shit…it’s still there. We hope it gets buried in the bowels of google, but it’s still THERE.
But, sometimes there is a group of people who tend to reveal their crazy a bit too often and too frequently. Authors are one of those groups of people. We start writing and all of sudden we start smoking (anyone seen my lighter…the one shaped like a coffee cup?), then we get way too many cats (the four in this house are fine btw and the crapload outside seem to be fine too.), then we start drinking (OMG Blue, the mandarin vodka was awesome!), then comes absinthe, then drugs, and finally we off ourselves.
Did I REALLY thoroughly think about this career path?
Speaking of career paths, while I was off working and dealing with life, I missed a pretty important announcement. Metaldog/Irondog (anyone know what penname she’s using for her work? I forgot to ask on the phone last night) has TWO contracts with TQ! How awesome is that? Good job, MD! We’re all cheering for you, dear. (Hope you thought about this career path.)
But, I thought I’d check in with everyone and let ya’ll know that I still have the same level of crazy that I’ve always had. So far, I’ve not experienced any alien abductions or revelations from God. My spiritual life is what it has always been: sometimes I go to Mass, sometimes I go to church, sometimes I go to drum circle, and sometimes I look at the wall and think I should be doing something else (playing a lvl 80 holy spec priest does not get one closer to God BTW). The dog next door, Sam, isn’t talking to me. There’s no grape Kool-Aid in the house and no one is getting castrated. Furthermore, I have no intention of walking away from my keyboard or genre. I’m just much, much slower than before due to this nerve problem that will, probably, never go away.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Personal Demon released TODAY!
Freya's Bower has released Personal Demon!
I'm so excited!
Temptation in an alb…
Those of the most devout faith face private struggles. When the man inside the priest fights carnal desires, the priest can only pray he has the inner fortitude to resist. Eve succumbed to the serpent. Adam succumbed to the apple. Now, Father Blake Krey stands in a private Garden of Eden, tempted by his own Personal Demon.
Genre: M/M Contemporary
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Attention fellow priest fetishists!
I have an author’s page at Freya’s Bower! I’ve submitted a bio, but it’s not posted yet.
And what’s this? A RELEASE DATE?!?
Woohoo!
When I woke up this morning, I KNEW it was going to be a great day! I love these types of surprises in my inbox.
Oh, sorry...I should be doing this all professionally and stuff.
*a-hem*
*straightens collar*
*fluffs hair*
Coming November 18th, 2008 from Freya’s Bower: Personal Demon by I.M. Cupnjava
Blurb:
Temptation in an alb…
Those of the most devout faith face private struggles. When the man inside the priest fights carnal desires, the priest can only pray he has the inner fortitude to resist. Eve succumbed to the serpent. Adam succumbed to the apple. Now, Father Blake Krey stands in a private Garden of Eden tempted by his own Personal Demon.
One excerpt is available on the website, but there’s another one I’m posting right here.
Excerpt:
The water rained down and plastered his shaggy blond hair to his face. Lingering hair paste entered his mouth, putting a bitter tinge upon his tongue. He looked up and asked the water to cleanse him. He hoped its purity might find a way into his soul.
He begged.
He pleaded.
He prayed.
He failed.
Succumbing to the lust, he grabbed his cock like a grudge. Unable to face his Lord, he fell forward and braced himself with one hand, genuflecting out of weakness and shame while abusing himself, molesting himself, and living in the filth of lust.
His personal demon slithered about his neck, took hold of him, and jerked him upright. Water splashed against his chest as his fingers curled the rondure of his scrotum. He knew the furtive beast watched him while it waited to strike. The snake offered the apple. Powerless to resist, he snatched it.
His thighs shuddered. His stomach quivered. Pressure spiked inside of him and streaked from his flesh grudge. He thrust himself forward and crashed against the floor as sin and an orgasm devoured him. His seed mingled with the swirling water and flowed into the bottomless darkness of the drain.
The serpent slithered away, leaving shame in its tracks as he, twitching and tingling, lay impuissant on the floor of the shower. He tried to gather his senses, but his mind remained distant. He tried to control his limbs, but his arms and legs defied him.
The water didn’t wash away any of the sin. The perfidy of his actions crushed him against the floor. He lay there until it ran cold and his muscles trembled from chill and the need for repentance. Bearing upon the walls for support, he pulled himself to his feet. Soap and shampoo lent themselves to free his skin of lingering filth.
If he couldn’t be clean, he could at least look clean.
He dried himself while staring at the mirror. Each blink, admonishment. Each swipe of the towel, condemnation. Would he ever be freed of this?
He dressed and found his collar on the floor. As he exited the rectory, he hoped he would find the strength to face his flock.
End excerpt.
Oh yes, it’s like that. It’s one very kinky story with some elements of S&M, candle play, and all sorts of other goodies. If you get the chance to read it, I hope you enjoy it.
And what’s this? A RELEASE DATE?!?
Woohoo!
When I woke up this morning, I KNEW it was going to be a great day! I love these types of surprises in my inbox.
Oh, sorry...I should be doing this all professionally and stuff.
*a-hem*
*straightens collar*
*fluffs hair*
Coming November 18th, 2008 from Freya’s Bower: Personal Demon by I.M. Cupnjava
Blurb:
Temptation in an alb…
Those of the most devout faith face private struggles. When the man inside the priest fights carnal desires, the priest can only pray he has the inner fortitude to resist. Eve succumbed to the serpent. Adam succumbed to the apple. Now, Father Blake Krey stands in a private Garden of Eden tempted by his own Personal Demon.
One excerpt is available on the website, but there’s another one I’m posting right here.
Excerpt:
The water rained down and plastered his shaggy blond hair to his face. Lingering hair paste entered his mouth, putting a bitter tinge upon his tongue. He looked up and asked the water to cleanse him. He hoped its purity might find a way into his soul.
He begged.
He pleaded.
He prayed.
He failed.
Succumbing to the lust, he grabbed his cock like a grudge. Unable to face his Lord, he fell forward and braced himself with one hand, genuflecting out of weakness and shame while abusing himself, molesting himself, and living in the filth of lust.
His personal demon slithered about his neck, took hold of him, and jerked him upright. Water splashed against his chest as his fingers curled the rondure of his scrotum. He knew the furtive beast watched him while it waited to strike. The snake offered the apple. Powerless to resist, he snatched it.
His thighs shuddered. His stomach quivered. Pressure spiked inside of him and streaked from his flesh grudge. He thrust himself forward and crashed against the floor as sin and an orgasm devoured him. His seed mingled with the swirling water and flowed into the bottomless darkness of the drain.
The serpent slithered away, leaving shame in its tracks as he, twitching and tingling, lay impuissant on the floor of the shower. He tried to gather his senses, but his mind remained distant. He tried to control his limbs, but his arms and legs defied him.
The water didn’t wash away any of the sin. The perfidy of his actions crushed him against the floor. He lay there until it ran cold and his muscles trembled from chill and the need for repentance. Bearing upon the walls for support, he pulled himself to his feet. Soap and shampoo lent themselves to free his skin of lingering filth.
If he couldn’t be clean, he could at least look clean.
He dried himself while staring at the mirror. Each blink, admonishment. Each swipe of the towel, condemnation. Would he ever be freed of this?
He dressed and found his collar on the floor. As he exited the rectory, he hoped he would find the strength to face his flock.
End excerpt.
Oh yes, it’s like that. It’s one very kinky story with some elements of S&M, candle play, and all sorts of other goodies. If you get the chance to read it, I hope you enjoy it.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Who let this dust settle?!
*dusts off blogspot*
Man, I’ve been neglecting this thing. First let me apologize for my long leave of absence. This past year has been full of ups and downs.
When Chippewa closed, orphaning my titles, I took that badly. Here, I had my dream. I had the publishing contract in hand. I had an editor who I adored. I had a title released and it was performing very well. I still haven’t seen any royalties from those sales and I probably never will. I weathered a divorce, health issues, and personal problems/drama.
Depression is a lurking opportunistic predator and I will admit that I’ve been fighting with it. Everyday things such as checking my LJ, other author boards, myspace and many others lost their appeal. I started titles and couldn’t get the gumption to continue them. It seemed the harder I reached down inside of myself to self-motivate, the further that motivation slipped from my grasp. The stories still ran through my head, but I couldn’t manage to get my fingers moving. It’s hard to market my work when I don’t have any work to market. I made excuses, grew soft on myself, and fell into that glorious time-sucker World of Warcrack...I mean...Warcraft.
During this lull in my writing career, I took some time to do some personal soul searching. Yes, I conducted some heavy research for About to Sin, but I found myself facing deeper questions about myself. I walked a few labyrinths, mediated, prayed, drummed, danced under the moonlight, and danced with fire. I received the most powerful compliment of my life from an elderly Roman Catholic priest. He said, “Never have I met someone who so tenaciously seeks deeper meaning in all that we do in life.” Then, he told me he loved me and reached up from his wheelchair and hugged me. I read a quote posted inside the library of a convent, “How glorious a gift to know who we are when we aren’t being who others need us to be.” I was told by a young Old Catholic priest, “Your writing is your ministry.”
How very humbling.
Each one of those adjusted my life’s focal point and further reminded me that I am who I am. I’ll never be anything more or anything less than that. I am, deep down inside, an author.
The feel of a keyboard beneath my fingers, the clack of the keys, the banging of my head against a wall trying to understand editorial direction, and the thrill of submission hell are what makes my heart pound and my eyes twinkle.
Puffmonkey came home from a convention where she purchased some very hot posters of Hakkai, Youkai Hakkai, and Gojyo from a gloriously talented artist, Kaysha Siemens. Her Deviant Art page. She’d heard of me and that blew me away.
With the support of my friends and family (albeit stressed support at times), I once again picked love over money.
While fighting the tail end of this depression, Freya’s Bower and Alessia Brio (with Phaze) stepped in and accepted my orphaned titles as well as a new title. That helped a little. It made me feel as if I could once again have my dream and I promptly killed another keyboard.
It felt wonderful to have edits again. The vibe of life that surrounds me when I finish a round of edits is a drug. A very addictive drug. Second only to the almost overwhelming hum of energy and life that comes with finishing the writing phase of a novel. A moment of seemingly perfect clarity that makes me feel as if the world is once again a beautiful place.
Today, I saw the cover for Personal Demon. I read through the ARC (advanced reader copy). It’s a small title…too small for an ISBN. But, it’s something. It’s something that will be out there with my name on it. When I get a release date and the stamp of approval on the blurb and excerpt, I’ll post it. I went by Barnes and Noble and checked on “Coming Together: With Pride” and they’ve sold out of their copies including the ones in the warehouse and are waiting on the publisher/distributor for more. That’s something too.
Also today, I opened my LiveJournal and looked at my f-list. Not everyone on my f-list has read my work, but many of you have. You willingly gave my stories some of your free time. You’ve encouraged me. You’ve cried with me and cheered with me. And remembering all of that has been a most humbling and healing moment.
There’s a light rain today. Fall leaves dot my yard. Rascal is curled up on his pillow by the window, sleeping quite soundly. I am an author...
...and I’m back.
Man, I’ve been neglecting this thing. First let me apologize for my long leave of absence. This past year has been full of ups and downs.
When Chippewa closed, orphaning my titles, I took that badly. Here, I had my dream. I had the publishing contract in hand. I had an editor who I adored. I had a title released and it was performing very well. I still haven’t seen any royalties from those sales and I probably never will. I weathered a divorce, health issues, and personal problems/drama.
Depression is a lurking opportunistic predator and I will admit that I’ve been fighting with it. Everyday things such as checking my LJ, other author boards, myspace and many others lost their appeal. I started titles and couldn’t get the gumption to continue them. It seemed the harder I reached down inside of myself to self-motivate, the further that motivation slipped from my grasp. The stories still ran through my head, but I couldn’t manage to get my fingers moving. It’s hard to market my work when I don’t have any work to market. I made excuses, grew soft on myself, and fell into that glorious time-sucker World of Warcrack...I mean...Warcraft.
During this lull in my writing career, I took some time to do some personal soul searching. Yes, I conducted some heavy research for About to Sin, but I found myself facing deeper questions about myself. I walked a few labyrinths, mediated, prayed, drummed, danced under the moonlight, and danced with fire. I received the most powerful compliment of my life from an elderly Roman Catholic priest. He said, “Never have I met someone who so tenaciously seeks deeper meaning in all that we do in life.” Then, he told me he loved me and reached up from his wheelchair and hugged me. I read a quote posted inside the library of a convent, “How glorious a gift to know who we are when we aren’t being who others need us to be.” I was told by a young Old Catholic priest, “Your writing is your ministry.”
How very humbling.
Each one of those adjusted my life’s focal point and further reminded me that I am who I am. I’ll never be anything more or anything less than that. I am, deep down inside, an author.
The feel of a keyboard beneath my fingers, the clack of the keys, the banging of my head against a wall trying to understand editorial direction, and the thrill of submission hell are what makes my heart pound and my eyes twinkle.
Puffmonkey came home from a convention where she purchased some very hot posters of Hakkai, Youkai Hakkai, and Gojyo from a gloriously talented artist, Kaysha Siemens. Her Deviant Art page. She’d heard of me and that blew me away.
With the support of my friends and family (albeit stressed support at times), I once again picked love over money.
While fighting the tail end of this depression, Freya’s Bower and Alessia Brio (with Phaze) stepped in and accepted my orphaned titles as well as a new title. That helped a little. It made me feel as if I could once again have my dream and I promptly killed another keyboard.
It felt wonderful to have edits again. The vibe of life that surrounds me when I finish a round of edits is a drug. A very addictive drug. Second only to the almost overwhelming hum of energy and life that comes with finishing the writing phase of a novel. A moment of seemingly perfect clarity that makes me feel as if the world is once again a beautiful place.
Today, I saw the cover for Personal Demon. I read through the ARC (advanced reader copy). It’s a small title…too small for an ISBN. But, it’s something. It’s something that will be out there with my name on it. When I get a release date and the stamp of approval on the blurb and excerpt, I’ll post it. I went by Barnes and Noble and checked on “Coming Together: With Pride” and they’ve sold out of their copies including the ones in the warehouse and are waiting on the publisher/distributor for more. That’s something too.
Also today, I opened my LiveJournal and looked at my f-list. Not everyone on my f-list has read my work, but many of you have. You willingly gave my stories some of your free time. You’ve encouraged me. You’ve cried with me and cheered with me. And remembering all of that has been a most humbling and healing moment.
There’s a light rain today. Fall leaves dot my yard. Rascal is curled up on his pillow by the window, sleeping quite soundly. I am an author...
...and I’m back.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Update on writing.
My very talented editor with Freya’s Bower resigned due to health concerns. Please join me in keeping her in your thoughts/prayers/etc. She’s still going to be writing, but editing is terribly difficult and time consuming work. For the sake of her privacy, I will not mention her name.
My titles with FB were put back into the editing pool. Personal Demon has swum to the side of the pool and his being edited by Marci Baun. I’ve not worked with Marci before, but so far things seem to be going very well.
Personal Demon was going to be included in an anthology title, but that was going to be edited by the editor that resigned. Freya’s Bower is doing something interesting with the titles that were going to be in the anthology. They’re doing a series of micro-books. So Personal Demon will be titled Inherently Sexual: Personal Demon. All the titles will have similar covers with the text changed. How neat is that? Oh and did I mention at all of the stories in this story will be homoerotic stories?
Since these will be short, they’ll be cheap and they won’t have ISBNs. That probably means you’ll only be able to get it on the Freya’s Bower’s website. I’ll verify that bit of information as we get closer to release. Since all of these stories aren’t on the shoulders of one editor, we’ll, hopefully, have a quicker release date.
Tainted Past and Full Circle (re-release) are still in the editing pool. About to Sin remains in self-editing phase. Full Circle: Changling is in the conception stage.
Oh, and I have a non-fiction book rec to share. Napoleon’s Privates. 2,500 Years of History Unzipped is an absolute riot and utterly fascinating. If you like quirky non-fiction, you’ll love this book.
My titles with FB were put back into the editing pool. Personal Demon has swum to the side of the pool and his being edited by Marci Baun. I’ve not worked with Marci before, but so far things seem to be going very well.
Personal Demon was going to be included in an anthology title, but that was going to be edited by the editor that resigned. Freya’s Bower is doing something interesting with the titles that were going to be in the anthology. They’re doing a series of micro-books. So Personal Demon will be titled Inherently Sexual: Personal Demon. All the titles will have similar covers with the text changed. How neat is that? Oh and did I mention at all of the stories in this story will be homoerotic stories?
Since these will be short, they’ll be cheap and they won’t have ISBNs. That probably means you’ll only be able to get it on the Freya’s Bower’s website. I’ll verify that bit of information as we get closer to release. Since all of these stories aren’t on the shoulders of one editor, we’ll, hopefully, have a quicker release date.
Tainted Past and Full Circle (re-release) are still in the editing pool. About to Sin remains in self-editing phase. Full Circle: Changling is in the conception stage.
Oh, and I have a non-fiction book rec to share. Napoleon’s Privates. 2,500 Years of History Unzipped is an absolute riot and utterly fascinating. If you like quirky non-fiction, you’ll love this book.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Update about my arm.
First of all, thank you all for the kudos and cheers about Coming Together With Pride. I’m very proud to be a part of that anthology and I hope that those of you who do get to read it will enjoy it.
My myspace and blogspot readers are bit out of the loop on this. I’m on very limited computer use due to what we suspect is a nerve disorder in my right arm. I’ve lost some muscle control, strength and dexterity. My pinky and most of my ring finger are “pins and needles” as well as parts of my hand. That’s why I’ve stopped participating in some of the groups and forums I belong to and why I’ve stopped replying to individual comments. Now that everyone is up to speed, on with the update…
I mentioned I’d update about my arm and the verdict is that we still don’t know. That’s part of the reason I’ve not said anything. I’ve not been able to get to the specialist because Folgers has been unable to get a day off. No joke. Yep, it’s one of THOSE kinds of jobs. (Catch-up moment for Myspace and Blogspot readers: Folgers has offered to cover the treatment costs of my no-insurance-having-self for this which is why I can’t take myself to the specialist. There’s a special place in heaven for altruistic people like that.)
My symptoms are worse. I’m now getting a red streak going up my hand and arm. I work until the streak is about halfway up my forearm or I can’t take the symptoms; and then, I have to take a break. Some days that’s several hours and some days that’s hardly any time at all. My editor is being very patient with me. Warm weather and driving seem to aggravate it more than being at the computer. Riding in a car, for no logical, bothers me more than sitting at my desk, but I’ve changed the set-up of my desk since this started.
Push-ups really bother me, but I’m not letting all the work I’ve put into weight loss go to waste. If I take my walk, I can’t do much for several hours. I’m having extreme difficulty in crossing my ring and pinky fingers and I know I’ve lost a lot of dexterity when it comes to typing. On some days I have no pain. Some days I have a bad ache in my elbow and this odd tingly dull ache in my hand. Ice and heat therapy are not helping. Motrin and Alieve are not helping other than sometimes easing the ache. An elbow brace makes it much worse and I’ve stopped wearing one so that I can get some work done.
Folgers has been in phone contact with the doctor discussing my symptoms and the doc is beginning to lean away from Cubital Tunnel Syndrome, but needs to see me to be sure. I’ve stopped speculating at this point and I’m just adjusting things as I can to get done what I need to get done. I just seem to be getting things done very, very slowly.
My myspace and blogspot readers are bit out of the loop on this. I’m on very limited computer use due to what we suspect is a nerve disorder in my right arm. I’ve lost some muscle control, strength and dexterity. My pinky and most of my ring finger are “pins and needles” as well as parts of my hand. That’s why I’ve stopped participating in some of the groups and forums I belong to and why I’ve stopped replying to individual comments. Now that everyone is up to speed, on with the update…
I mentioned I’d update about my arm and the verdict is that we still don’t know. That’s part of the reason I’ve not said anything. I’ve not been able to get to the specialist because Folgers has been unable to get a day off. No joke. Yep, it’s one of THOSE kinds of jobs. (Catch-up moment for Myspace and Blogspot readers: Folgers has offered to cover the treatment costs of my no-insurance-having-self for this which is why I can’t take myself to the specialist. There’s a special place in heaven for altruistic people like that.)
My symptoms are worse. I’m now getting a red streak going up my hand and arm. I work until the streak is about halfway up my forearm or I can’t take the symptoms; and then, I have to take a break. Some days that’s several hours and some days that’s hardly any time at all. My editor is being very patient with me. Warm weather and driving seem to aggravate it more than being at the computer. Riding in a car, for no logical, bothers me more than sitting at my desk, but I’ve changed the set-up of my desk since this started.
Push-ups really bother me, but I’m not letting all the work I’ve put into weight loss go to waste. If I take my walk, I can’t do much for several hours. I’m having extreme difficulty in crossing my ring and pinky fingers and I know I’ve lost a lot of dexterity when it comes to typing. On some days I have no pain. Some days I have a bad ache in my elbow and this odd tingly dull ache in my hand. Ice and heat therapy are not helping. Motrin and Alieve are not helping other than sometimes easing the ache. An elbow brace makes it much worse and I’ve stopped wearing one so that I can get some work done.
Folgers has been in phone contact with the doctor discussing my symptoms and the doc is beginning to lean away from Cubital Tunnel Syndrome, but needs to see me to be sure. I’ve stopped speculating at this point and I’m just adjusting things as I can to get done what I need to get done. I just seem to be getting things done very, very slowly.
Monday, June 02, 2008
Now Available! Coming Together: With Pride
Now available!
Notice that wasn’t a coming soon?
Drum roll please…
(yep, milking this for all it’s worth)
Coming Together: With Pride is now available in print and e-book formats! This anthology, edited by Alessia Brio and published by Phaze, brings together some of today’s best erotica writers in an altruistic venture to support HIV/AIDS research.
Oh, and did I mention I donated a story for the cause? My story is “Selling Foxx” a snarky contemporary comedy. Enjoy! And, don’t forget your napkins. (That will make sense after you read the story.)
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that’s a print credit for me and a warm-fuzzy feeling that only comes with charitable work.
(P.S. I’ll update about my arm later. For now, let’s celebrate something good!)
P.P.S For those of you reading this on my blogspot or my myspace, I’ve developed some kind of nerve problem in my right arm. It’s messing with my muscle control and dexterity. We don’t know how serious it is and I’m working with doctors to sort it out.
Notice that wasn’t a coming soon?
Drum roll please…
(yep, milking this for all it’s worth)
Coming Together: With Pride is now available in print and e-book formats! This anthology, edited by Alessia Brio and published by Phaze, brings together some of today’s best erotica writers in an altruistic venture to support HIV/AIDS research.
Oh, and did I mention I donated a story for the cause? My story is “Selling Foxx” a snarky contemporary comedy. Enjoy! And, don’t forget your napkins. (That will make sense after you read the story.)
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that’s a print credit for me and a warm-fuzzy feeling that only comes with charitable work.
(P.S. I’ll update about my arm later. For now, let’s celebrate something good!)
P.P.S For those of you reading this on my blogspot or my myspace, I’ve developed some kind of nerve problem in my right arm. It’s messing with my muscle control and dexterity. We don’t know how serious it is and I’m working with doctors to sort it out.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
The Beauty of a Small Town
Puffmonkey and I headed down to the emergency shelter today. We couldn’t reach anyone on the phone and decided to just drive there halfway expecting to be turned around and halfway expecting to be put to work.
If what we’re being told is correct, this was the worst tornado to hit our state in recorded history. 120 buildings were destroyed. Many of those were homes. We arrived at the shelter around noon and there seemed to be a serious lack of victims.
Don’t mistake my intentions. I’m glad there weren’t that many people, but after hurricanes and recent natural disasters we expected long lines of people in need. On one end of the cafeteria there were twelve large tables piled high with donations with more donations stowed underneath. On the other end there were six tables loaded with food. There had to be twenty feet of palates of water. Unilever (Lipton) showed up with cases of soap, shampoo and deodorants. Starbucks showed up with a donation of coffee. Outback Steak House showed up with grills and hot plates and fed us Caesar salad, BBQ chicken and wonderful steaks. Churches showed up in organized groups. One set of chaplains had a tent, water, and grills set up outside. Private citizens and churches showed up with all sorts of household items from toys to feminine hygiene products. Volunteers and donations exceeded the needs of the community.
This excess of generosity was not due to over-blown reporting of tragedy. It was due to an underestimation of human compassion. Suffolk, Virginia is the largest town, in miles, in Hampton Roads (and I think the state), but it is the smallest in population in Hampton Roads (not the state). If a family lost their home another family took them in. Churches have rosters of people offering displaced families homes. Navy wives stepped up to help Navy families. Army wives stepped up to help Army families. If my information is correct, there are more offers of housing than there are displaced families.
One family, an immigrant family, lost everything in six minutes yesterday. They lost their nail salon and their home. At least two members of the family were injured. They had a tiny infant and volunteers doted on them. I washed bottles and helped gather water for formula.
At nine o’clock this morning, the shelter had people, but no donations. Some of the volunteers ran to stores and purchased items. Some others made phone calls. By noon the shelter was overrun with donations.
Puffmonkey and I stood in people’s faces until they gave us tasks to do. When that didn’t work, we took initiative and found things to do. Victims who had shelter but lacked food, personal hygiene items, and clothing filtered in during the day. She and I would talk to them and prompt them to take what they needed. We could usually tell who was a volunteer and who was a victim. Victims looked dazed and confused whereas the volunteers looked tired, slightly bored, and ready to help some more. I wasn’t sure which overwhelmed the victims more…the disaster or the outpouring of support. One gentleman stood amongst the donations and seemed utterly confused. I asked him, “How hard were you hit, hon?”
I kept him talking as I handed him comfort kits provided by the Red Cross. I found out about his family as I gathered toys for his kids. Many of the victims didn’t seem to realize they needed items until we asked them if they had shampoo. These items are things that are usually kept in the home. One doesn’t realize they’re missing soap until they reach for what isn’t there. Puff and I loaded people up with things that they needed while pointing out food, cots, and showers.
The family with the infant had bags of things for the little one. No one donated formula and some volunteers went to the store and bought them formula. We waited on them like they were royalty. No one is limping to a trash can on my watch!
This outpouring of compassion should not be taken as an excuse to not donate time, items or money during a disaster. Suffolk was lucky in its unluckiness. Other towns and other disasters are not so lucky. I lived through Hurricane Isabel and had to help people out of their homes because organized relief efforts couldn’t reach them. I’ve had to stand in the piercing rain and 75 mph winds and clear a road with a hacksaw because organized efforts couldn’t get there. My family and I had to take it upon ourselves to find people water and organize food prep and distribution because others were too shocked to do it.
Before Puff and I headed out for home we spoke with the other volunteers. We were willing to stay overnight at the shelter and help, but we weren’t needed. People from the Red Cross, Social Services, Churches, the school and even the Department of Corrections all had representatives there. All of them were shocked to find out Puff and I were two random strangers who came into help. One lady said, “Oh? You two are real volunteers and I think you did more work than anyone else.”
Puff said, “Everyone has a job to do and we found ours.”
I think that sums up disasters quite nicely. Everyone does have a job to do. Find yours.
If what we’re being told is correct, this was the worst tornado to hit our state in recorded history. 120 buildings were destroyed. Many of those were homes. We arrived at the shelter around noon and there seemed to be a serious lack of victims.
Don’t mistake my intentions. I’m glad there weren’t that many people, but after hurricanes and recent natural disasters we expected long lines of people in need. On one end of the cafeteria there were twelve large tables piled high with donations with more donations stowed underneath. On the other end there were six tables loaded with food. There had to be twenty feet of palates of water. Unilever (Lipton) showed up with cases of soap, shampoo and deodorants. Starbucks showed up with a donation of coffee. Outback Steak House showed up with grills and hot plates and fed us Caesar salad, BBQ chicken and wonderful steaks. Churches showed up in organized groups. One set of chaplains had a tent, water, and grills set up outside. Private citizens and churches showed up with all sorts of household items from toys to feminine hygiene products. Volunteers and donations exceeded the needs of the community.
This excess of generosity was not due to over-blown reporting of tragedy. It was due to an underestimation of human compassion. Suffolk, Virginia is the largest town, in miles, in Hampton Roads (and I think the state), but it is the smallest in population in Hampton Roads (not the state). If a family lost their home another family took them in. Churches have rosters of people offering displaced families homes. Navy wives stepped up to help Navy families. Army wives stepped up to help Army families. If my information is correct, there are more offers of housing than there are displaced families.
One family, an immigrant family, lost everything in six minutes yesterday. They lost their nail salon and their home. At least two members of the family were injured. They had a tiny infant and volunteers doted on them. I washed bottles and helped gather water for formula.
At nine o’clock this morning, the shelter had people, but no donations. Some of the volunteers ran to stores and purchased items. Some others made phone calls. By noon the shelter was overrun with donations.
Puffmonkey and I stood in people’s faces until they gave us tasks to do. When that didn’t work, we took initiative and found things to do. Victims who had shelter but lacked food, personal hygiene items, and clothing filtered in during the day. She and I would talk to them and prompt them to take what they needed. We could usually tell who was a volunteer and who was a victim. Victims looked dazed and confused whereas the volunteers looked tired, slightly bored, and ready to help some more. I wasn’t sure which overwhelmed the victims more…the disaster or the outpouring of support. One gentleman stood amongst the donations and seemed utterly confused. I asked him, “How hard were you hit, hon?”
I kept him talking as I handed him comfort kits provided by the Red Cross. I found out about his family as I gathered toys for his kids. Many of the victims didn’t seem to realize they needed items until we asked them if they had shampoo. These items are things that are usually kept in the home. One doesn’t realize they’re missing soap until they reach for what isn’t there. Puff and I loaded people up with things that they needed while pointing out food, cots, and showers.
The family with the infant had bags of things for the little one. No one donated formula and some volunteers went to the store and bought them formula. We waited on them like they were royalty. No one is limping to a trash can on my watch!
This outpouring of compassion should not be taken as an excuse to not donate time, items or money during a disaster. Suffolk was lucky in its unluckiness. Other towns and other disasters are not so lucky. I lived through Hurricane Isabel and had to help people out of their homes because organized relief efforts couldn’t reach them. I’ve had to stand in the piercing rain and 75 mph winds and clear a road with a hacksaw because organized efforts couldn’t get there. My family and I had to take it upon ourselves to find people water and organize food prep and distribution because others were too shocked to do it.
Before Puff and I headed out for home we spoke with the other volunteers. We were willing to stay overnight at the shelter and help, but we weren’t needed. People from the Red Cross, Social Services, Churches, the school and even the Department of Corrections all had representatives there. All of them were shocked to find out Puff and I were two random strangers who came into help. One lady said, “Oh? You two are real volunteers and I think you did more work than anyone else.”
Puff said, “Everyone has a job to do and we found ours.”
I think that sums up disasters quite nicely. Everyone does have a job to do. Find yours.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Tornados
By now many of you have heard about the storms near me. I’m fine. My family is fine. Our property is fine. My friends are all fine. Folgers is fine. The worst of the damage is terribly close to me and affects my life in so much that roads are closed and shopping has been destroyed. That’s nothing compared to what some people are dealing with.
Let’s all take a moment and say a prayer, send positive thoughts, or do whatever your faith encourages you to do for the 200 (approximately) injured people and all of the families who have been left homeless in the wake of these tornados.
I’m trying to reach the Red Cross to find out if they need volunteers at the emergency shelter. So far, I’ve been told to contact a man in the gymnasium...no number, mind you. JUST the last name of the man in "the gymnasium" and he can tell me if volunteers are needed. Living in a small town is an adjustment.
Let’s all take a moment and say a prayer, send positive thoughts, or do whatever your faith encourages you to do for the 200 (approximately) injured people and all of the families who have been left homeless in the wake of these tornados.
I’m trying to reach the Red Cross to find out if they need volunteers at the emergency shelter. So far, I’ve been told to contact a man in the gymnasium...no number, mind you. JUST the last name of the man in "the gymnasium" and he can tell me if volunteers are needed. Living in a small town is an adjustment.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
File this under awesome!
Here's my interview in the Gay and Lesbian Times. Tim Parks was a wonderful interviewer.
Not dead yet!
Whoa…yeah…I’m not dead, yet. LOL!
Life is a funny thing, ya know. You settled down in a routine and think you can coast a while with everything being status quo. Then, something happens and tosses everything in a tizzy.
As many of you know, I’ve separated from my husband. Needless to say, that involved a move. A friend of mine, recently single, and another friend of mine, also recently single, decided we’d all make great roommates. Father Bryan moved at the same time I moved and we helped each other move. He’s living in a place that better fits his personality, but isn’t too far for visits. Thus began the “move that never ends”.
Once I get into a routine and something breaks it, it’s very difficult for me to get back into a routine. When another author pointed out that I hadn’t updated jack-squat since mid-Feb, I realized I REALLY needed to make a better effort at getting back into my routine. I apologize for causing worry in those who have contacted me to make sure I was still breathing.
I’ve been busy. (When have I not said that?) Between the separation, the move that never ends, working (not as hard as I should) on edits, Rascal going through his whole “I want the world to know I hate moving” phase, and making time in my life for Folgers…I’ve been MIA on my blogs. (Folgers: The best part of waking up is Folgers in your Cup. You fill in the blanks.)
This, ladies and gentlemen, is an example of poor writing discipline and, let me cut myself a little slack here, an example of when life explodes all over the place. I now live in a very rural area where the cows and alpacas outnumber the people. It’s taken a bit to adjust to rural life, but I’m enjoying it thus far.
Oh, and did I mention a hacker attack of a very personal nature, my desk falling apart during the move (I’m currently working on half the space I’m accustomed to with it propped up by boxes), a death threat, and trying to switch from night shift to day shift. Yeah…life has been like that. LOL!
Story Updates:
About to Sin: I’ve heard back from one beta. There are a few minor corrections suggested by him and then it’s back to waiting on the other betas. I’ll wait another week and drop a line asking if they’ve forgotten about me. If I don’t hear back from them shortly, I’ll have to face agents and publishers without full beta attention.
Personal Demon: In the hands of my editor. The artwork is in and we’re hoping for the anthology to be released mid to late 2008.
Full Circle: In the hands of my editor being brought into Freya’s Bower’s house style. We’re hoping for re-release later this year.
Tainted Past: Currently undergoing plot edits and in my hands. I’m going to say we’re hoping for release later this year, but my gut tells me early next year.
Selling Foxx: Currently in the hands of my editor and we’re expecting that anthology to be out in the next few months. The last date I heard was July, but I don’t know how solid that was. So, when Coming Together with Pride is released, I’ll let you know. That will be both an e-book and a paper book. You’ll be able to get the ebook a couple of months before the paper book will be on Amazon.
Next WIP: Other than About to Sin, I’ll be giving a bulk of my attention to my comedy sci-fi story. I have a lot of dark titles coming out and I don’t want readers to think I only write dark fiction. I want a snarky comedy in there so that my author brand doesn’t get pigeonholed.
Frankly, I’m doing quite well and emotionally I feel as if I’m in a better place than I have been in a long time. I’m just having difficulty getting my act together after this latest life interruption. I’m feeling the itch to write when I’m unable to get to a keyboard or too tired to see straight. All in all, life has been good the past few months and I hope the same holds true for all of you.
Life is a funny thing, ya know. You settled down in a routine and think you can coast a while with everything being status quo. Then, something happens and tosses everything in a tizzy.
As many of you know, I’ve separated from my husband. Needless to say, that involved a move. A friend of mine, recently single, and another friend of mine, also recently single, decided we’d all make great roommates. Father Bryan moved at the same time I moved and we helped each other move. He’s living in a place that better fits his personality, but isn’t too far for visits. Thus began the “move that never ends”.
Once I get into a routine and something breaks it, it’s very difficult for me to get back into a routine. When another author pointed out that I hadn’t updated jack-squat since mid-Feb, I realized I REALLY needed to make a better effort at getting back into my routine. I apologize for causing worry in those who have contacted me to make sure I was still breathing.
I’ve been busy. (When have I not said that?) Between the separation, the move that never ends, working (not as hard as I should) on edits, Rascal going through his whole “I want the world to know I hate moving” phase, and making time in my life for Folgers…I’ve been MIA on my blogs. (Folgers: The best part of waking up is Folgers in your Cup. You fill in the blanks.)
This, ladies and gentlemen, is an example of poor writing discipline and, let me cut myself a little slack here, an example of when life explodes all over the place. I now live in a very rural area where the cows and alpacas outnumber the people. It’s taken a bit to adjust to rural life, but I’m enjoying it thus far.
Oh, and did I mention a hacker attack of a very personal nature, my desk falling apart during the move (I’m currently working on half the space I’m accustomed to with it propped up by boxes), a death threat, and trying to switch from night shift to day shift. Yeah…life has been like that. LOL!
Story Updates:
About to Sin: I’ve heard back from one beta. There are a few minor corrections suggested by him and then it’s back to waiting on the other betas. I’ll wait another week and drop a line asking if they’ve forgotten about me. If I don’t hear back from them shortly, I’ll have to face agents and publishers without full beta attention.
Personal Demon: In the hands of my editor. The artwork is in and we’re hoping for the anthology to be released mid to late 2008.
Full Circle: In the hands of my editor being brought into Freya’s Bower’s house style. We’re hoping for re-release later this year.
Tainted Past: Currently undergoing plot edits and in my hands. I’m going to say we’re hoping for release later this year, but my gut tells me early next year.
Selling Foxx: Currently in the hands of my editor and we’re expecting that anthology to be out in the next few months. The last date I heard was July, but I don’t know how solid that was. So, when Coming Together with Pride is released, I’ll let you know. That will be both an e-book and a paper book. You’ll be able to get the ebook a couple of months before the paper book will be on Amazon.
Next WIP: Other than About to Sin, I’ll be giving a bulk of my attention to my comedy sci-fi story. I have a lot of dark titles coming out and I don’t want readers to think I only write dark fiction. I want a snarky comedy in there so that my author brand doesn’t get pigeonholed.
Frankly, I’m doing quite well and emotionally I feel as if I’m in a better place than I have been in a long time. I’m just having difficulty getting my act together after this latest life interruption. I’m feeling the itch to write when I’m unable to get to a keyboard or too tired to see straight. All in all, life has been good the past few months and I hope the same holds true for all of you.
Monday, February 11, 2008
About to Sin—Update
Well, after hours upon hours of typing, editing, and plot planning, About to Sin is finally in the hands of Beta readers. I missed my self-imposed deadline by a little bit, but given all that’s going on in my personal life, I’m not beating myself up for it.
By the time I finished the self-editing, About to Sin capped out at 111,900 words. There is room for one more sex scene, but I’m trying to figure out if it’s needed. I don’t want gratuitous sex in my stories. Also, given the hefty word count, I don’t want to further limit available markets.
I’m trying to figure out what to tackle next. I don’t want to work on the sequel to Full Circle until the Freya’s Bower editing has been finished. Recovered Flotsam and my still untitled sci-fi story are both calling my name. And my “g” key on my keyboard is acting up again. >.<
I think I have it fixed again…maybe.
Is this the point in my career where I’ll look back and laugh later? I sure hope so. LOL!
Anyways, back to topic. The group of beta readers I have for About to Sin are awesome! I have three and each one brings something special to the table. The first beta reader is a professional editor who is currently on hiatus in the publishing world. I trust her and value her opinion. The second beta reader is a priest who is helping me with all things catholic and priestly. The third beta reader is helping me sprinkle in a bit of culture and this became necessary due to an element of Anand’s back story.
Although Full Circle still holds the crown for “Title that Needed the Most Research”, About to Sin required a surprising amount of research. Yes, all of the Catholic stuff needed to be researched and thanks to the Vatican providing a wealth of information to Joe Schmoe Person, some of it wasn’t difficult. Also, thanks to tourists of the world, sniffing out location details wasn’t too difficult either. At one point, I took a virtual tour of several churches. Visiting the National Basilica in Washington D.C. helped and I wish I would have visited that place before I wrote the confessional scene. I probably would have used one of those booths instead of the one I used. Surprisingly, my time in Guatemala also helped me write this title. Inactive priests who faced what Daniel faced shared their painful stories with me while many active priests didn’t want to acknowledge my presence. Thankfully, I met one active priest who helped introduce me to other active priests who were willing to talk to me off the record. Take a moment and think about me sitting in a room SURROUNDED by priests in clerics. I think about it a lot…I also lived it. LOL! So, with all of this being so easy, what was difficult?
1)The medical stuff…guh! Thank you Dr. Gata for helping me!
2)How DO those collars work? No…really… Thank you Fr. B, Fr. M, Fr. J, Fr. J and others for helping me!
3)In what order do those robes go on? No…really… Thank you Fr. B, Fr. M, Fr. J, Fr. J and others for helping me!
4)Oh…”legislation” isn’t the correct word here? “Say” is the correct word here? This is an outdated Mass? Wait…there’s such a thing as major and minor seminary? Oh, so that’s when they start wearing the collars. So THAT seminary would produce a Daniel? And many others. Thank you Fr. B for your countless hours and bottomless patience.
Writer thy name is researcher.
After the beta’s get it back to me, I’ll tweak it some more and then hit submission hell with this title.
By the time I finished the self-editing, About to Sin capped out at 111,900 words. There is room for one more sex scene, but I’m trying to figure out if it’s needed. I don’t want gratuitous sex in my stories. Also, given the hefty word count, I don’t want to further limit available markets.
I’m trying to figure out what to tackle next. I don’t want to work on the sequel to Full Circle until the Freya’s Bower editing has been finished. Recovered Flotsam and my still untitled sci-fi story are both calling my name. And my “g” key on my keyboard is acting up again. >.<
I think I have it fixed again…maybe.
Is this the point in my career where I’ll look back and laugh later? I sure hope so. LOL!
Anyways, back to topic. The group of beta readers I have for About to Sin are awesome! I have three and each one brings something special to the table. The first beta reader is a professional editor who is currently on hiatus in the publishing world. I trust her and value her opinion. The second beta reader is a priest who is helping me with all things catholic and priestly. The third beta reader is helping me sprinkle in a bit of culture and this became necessary due to an element of Anand’s back story.
Although Full Circle still holds the crown for “Title that Needed the Most Research”, About to Sin required a surprising amount of research. Yes, all of the Catholic stuff needed to be researched and thanks to the Vatican providing a wealth of information to Joe Schmoe Person, some of it wasn’t difficult. Also, thanks to tourists of the world, sniffing out location details wasn’t too difficult either. At one point, I took a virtual tour of several churches. Visiting the National Basilica in Washington D.C. helped and I wish I would have visited that place before I wrote the confessional scene. I probably would have used one of those booths instead of the one I used. Surprisingly, my time in Guatemala also helped me write this title. Inactive priests who faced what Daniel faced shared their painful stories with me while many active priests didn’t want to acknowledge my presence. Thankfully, I met one active priest who helped introduce me to other active priests who were willing to talk to me off the record. Take a moment and think about me sitting in a room SURROUNDED by priests in clerics. I think about it a lot…I also lived it. LOL! So, with all of this being so easy, what was difficult?
1)The medical stuff…guh! Thank you Dr. Gata for helping me!
2)How DO those collars work? No…really… Thank you Fr. B, Fr. M, Fr. J, Fr. J and others for helping me!
3)In what order do those robes go on? No…really… Thank you Fr. B, Fr. M, Fr. J, Fr. J and others for helping me!
4)Oh…”legislation” isn’t the correct word here? “Say” is the correct word here? This is an outdated Mass? Wait…there’s such a thing as major and minor seminary? Oh, so that’s when they start wearing the collars. So THAT seminary would produce a Daniel? And many others. Thank you Fr. B for your countless hours and bottomless patience.
Writer thy name is researcher.
After the beta’s get it back to me, I’ll tweak it some more and then hit submission hell with this title.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
YouTube! *shakes fist*
Another thing to add to my banned from list…YouTube.
WTF? O.o
I’ve not added new content in I can’t tell you how long. I’ve endured a relentless attack for…going on two years(?)…from a hate group that doesn’t like “teh gay” and now YouTube has suspended my account with NO REASON given.
I’ve contacted them, but I think it’s really fucked up that my AMV’s are posted by other people and are still up there. I also think it’s fucked up that me—BEING A COPYRIGHT HOLDER—was banned from YouTube.
My vids on YouTube:
1) a few AMV’s…nothing obscene and nothing that wasn’t posted elsewhere.
2) My book trailer (which is horribly out of date now).
3) Two vids talking about writing that included screen shots of the covers of a few reference books. (Referencing something is under “fair use” so no violations there.)
4) One joke vid in response to another joke vid about a fake dating service.
Umm…yeah…SO violated terms of service.
When I reported the hate group coming after me, YouTube did NOTHING. Let me tell you these guys were ruthless and unending. I had so many hate comments coming at me that I had to put all msgs from YouTube in my spam folder. And they did NOTHING about it. That group harassed another user so bad she shut down her own account and then they moved on to me.
If they want to say I violated copyright with the AMV’s, then WHY are my AMV’s posted by other users STILL on YouTube? Why are there ANY AMV’s on YouTube at all?
If they want to say my content was obscene, I want to know what video contained the obscenity. I can point to plenty of videos with people doing more risqué things than what was in any of my videos. But, I did at one point show the cover of “The Joy of Gay Sex.”
If they want to pull "copyright violation" on the book trailer…I’m gonna LAUGH!
Let’s see here…they didn’t do anything when a hate group came after me and hit me with all sorts of sexual orientation slurs. And they banned me…someone who did have gay content up.
I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but this sounds really fucking fishy to me. I’ve e-mailed them and asked them why my account was banned. We’ll see how this turns out. Again, let me stress is SOUNDS fishy and that’s a far cry from saying it is fishy. All I know at this point is while neglecting my YouTube account, I managed to violate terms of service. Yep, I did it by not up loading anything, by not changing any content and by not making my channel page all fancy. Now, it's time to laugh. I utterly failed to act and managed to get kicked off YouTube. Such talent.
Anyone know a video hosting site not run by fucktards?
WTF? O.o
I’ve not added new content in I can’t tell you how long. I’ve endured a relentless attack for…going on two years(?)…from a hate group that doesn’t like “teh gay” and now YouTube has suspended my account with NO REASON given.
I’ve contacted them, but I think it’s really fucked up that my AMV’s are posted by other people and are still up there. I also think it’s fucked up that me—BEING A COPYRIGHT HOLDER—was banned from YouTube.
My vids on YouTube:
1) a few AMV’s…nothing obscene and nothing that wasn’t posted elsewhere.
2) My book trailer (which is horribly out of date now).
3) Two vids talking about writing that included screen shots of the covers of a few reference books. (Referencing something is under “fair use” so no violations there.)
4) One joke vid in response to another joke vid about a fake dating service.
Umm…yeah…SO violated terms of service.
When I reported the hate group coming after me, YouTube did NOTHING. Let me tell you these guys were ruthless and unending. I had so many hate comments coming at me that I had to put all msgs from YouTube in my spam folder. And they did NOTHING about it. That group harassed another user so bad she shut down her own account and then they moved on to me.
If they want to say I violated copyright with the AMV’s, then WHY are my AMV’s posted by other users STILL on YouTube? Why are there ANY AMV’s on YouTube at all?
If they want to say my content was obscene, I want to know what video contained the obscenity. I can point to plenty of videos with people doing more risqué things than what was in any of my videos. But, I did at one point show the cover of “The Joy of Gay Sex.”
If they want to pull "copyright violation" on the book trailer…I’m gonna LAUGH!
Let’s see here…they didn’t do anything when a hate group came after me and hit me with all sorts of sexual orientation slurs. And they banned me…someone who did have gay content up.
I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but this sounds really fucking fishy to me. I’ve e-mailed them and asked them why my account was banned. We’ll see how this turns out. Again, let me stress is SOUNDS fishy and that’s a far cry from saying it is fishy. All I know at this point is while neglecting my YouTube account, I managed to violate terms of service. Yep, I did it by not up loading anything, by not changing any content and by not making my channel page all fancy. Now, it's time to laugh. I utterly failed to act and managed to get kicked off YouTube. Such talent.
Anyone know a video hosting site not run by fucktards?
Saturday, January 19, 2008
In Loving Memory of Abo
Note: I edited the picture incorrectly. Blame it on 30+hours without sleep. It should be 1992-2008.
Abo, my eldest son, came to be born in the living room of a friend of mine in high school. Due to his rambunctious nature, we named him after the monkey in the movie Aladdin. His littermate, Rajah, an orange and white striped tabby, was named after the tiger.
Abo earned many nicknames through out his life. Most of us lovingly called him "Boo", but "Booers", "Old Man Boo" and even "Boodini" (due to his escape artist abilities) were often used as terms of endearment.
Abo was born in December of 1992 and became a permanent fixture of my family on Valentines Day 1993.. I held him and fell in love with him before his eyes were open. I also fell in love with Rajah at that time and we lost Rajah a few years ago. I helped wean both of them from their mother. In his early years, Abo was a playful sort and always wanted attention. Attention we felt thankful to give him. Attention that I wish I could give him now.
When Rajah broke his leg and had to spend some time confined in a box, Abo seemed to take twisted pleasure in trying to get his younger brother to play. Rajah played back as best he could and eventually fully recovered from the injury. For over a decade those two were inseparable until Rajah succumbed to colon cancer.
As Abo aged, he mellowed and earned yet another nickname, "Stoner Cat", due to his laid back and "anything is fine as long as there's food" attitude. He also developed a serious desire to lick earlobes and hug necks. He could purr me awake and loved to snuggle at night.
In his twilight years, Abo became very ill and fought diabetes for several years. He became wobbly on his legs and soldiered through several seizures and vet visits while we tried to stabilize his blood sugar. At one point, we stabilized it and I looked forward to many more years with my baby. He did real well with his insulin shots. He came when he was called and even learned the sounds of his shots being prepared and came into the kitchen like a wonderful patient.
Although age was not kind to Abo, Abo was kind to everyone. When we introduced other cats into the household and even a dog, Abo was always willing to show friendship toward the new family members.
Today, we had to make a humane choice. We had to weigh Abo's declining quality of life with our desires to continue to love him. It was not an easy choice, but I know he's now in a place where the tuna never stops coming and insulin needles are no where to be found.
He died peacefully tonight with his head in the palm of my hand while I whispered that I loved him the best that I could. I wish that we all could experience such a wonderful passing.
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