I’ve recently gotten into a show called “Being Erica”. I’m playing catch-up via Hulu and I watched an episode the other day that got me thinking. Erica walked in on Ethan while he was masturbating and that was a problem for her. I read through the comments of other viewers and, apparently, many people feel that their partner masturbating is a problem.
I don’t get it. I don’t understand this at all.
Masturbation isn’t just for single people. For someone who is single, it might be a replacement for sex. For someone who is in a relationship, masturbation might be a way of seeking relief when their partner is unavailable or not interested, but masturbation is much more than that.
It’s not just a substitute for sex. It’s a form of self-expression. It’s a sexual outlet that can be fully self-serving. A person can “test run” fantasies or techniques before sharing them with their partner. There’s no performance pressure with masturbation. It’s also a way of reconnecting with one’s own body and one’s on tastes. If I can’t give myself an orgasm, how can I expect anyone else to?
I’m sure that in the whole history of relationships there have been moments where someone rejected their willing partner and masturbated instead of having sex. If that has happened, I suspect there are a lot more problems in that relationship than just masturbation.
Generally speaking, masturbation isn’t connected to rejection. It’s self-exploration. It’s a time to get lost in selfish desires.
I have walked in on partners who were masturbating. I stood there with a smile on my face and watched. It was hot! Very sexy. It gave me the chance to observe my partner and feel like a naughty voyeur. When I was noticed, I asked them to continue and offered to help or just provide an audience. One time it turned into a very hot moment that I will keep private.
Erica was also upset about Ethan watching porn while masturbating. I don’t understand this either.
There’s porn—a fantasy world. It’s ridiculous and campy. It can be raunchy and debauched or it can be soft and almost sweet.
There’s coupled interactions—this is real. It can play out a fantasy, but it is real people interacting in the real world. It can be everything from amazing to a clumsy comedy of errors.
They’re two different worlds and they serve very different needs. I don’t understand why someone would be upset that their partner is watching porn. I can understand if the behavior is unhealthy. If there was some kind of porn addiction or something like that. I can also understand feelings of rejection if someone is treated poorly because they lack a pornstar figure. If that is going on, then the relationship has bigger problems than someone masturbating while watching porn.
Am I unusual in thinking there’s nothing wrong with watching porn and masturbating regardless of one’s relationship status? I see nothing wrong with masturbation. If the relationship is good and if the sex life within the relationship is healthy, why would it be a problem?
It’s my body. I’m going to touch it if I want to.
Showing posts with label personal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal. Show all posts
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Update about my arm.
First of all, thank you all for the kudos and cheers about Coming Together With Pride. I’m very proud to be a part of that anthology and I hope that those of you who do get to read it will enjoy it.
My myspace and blogspot readers are bit out of the loop on this. I’m on very limited computer use due to what we suspect is a nerve disorder in my right arm. I’ve lost some muscle control, strength and dexterity. My pinky and most of my ring finger are “pins and needles” as well as parts of my hand. That’s why I’ve stopped participating in some of the groups and forums I belong to and why I’ve stopped replying to individual comments. Now that everyone is up to speed, on with the update…
I mentioned I’d update about my arm and the verdict is that we still don’t know. That’s part of the reason I’ve not said anything. I’ve not been able to get to the specialist because Folgers has been unable to get a day off. No joke. Yep, it’s one of THOSE kinds of jobs. (Catch-up moment for Myspace and Blogspot readers: Folgers has offered to cover the treatment costs of my no-insurance-having-self for this which is why I can’t take myself to the specialist. There’s a special place in heaven for altruistic people like that.)
My symptoms are worse. I’m now getting a red streak going up my hand and arm. I work until the streak is about halfway up my forearm or I can’t take the symptoms; and then, I have to take a break. Some days that’s several hours and some days that’s hardly any time at all. My editor is being very patient with me. Warm weather and driving seem to aggravate it more than being at the computer. Riding in a car, for no logical, bothers me more than sitting at my desk, but I’ve changed the set-up of my desk since this started.
Push-ups really bother me, but I’m not letting all the work I’ve put into weight loss go to waste. If I take my walk, I can’t do much for several hours. I’m having extreme difficulty in crossing my ring and pinky fingers and I know I’ve lost a lot of dexterity when it comes to typing. On some days I have no pain. Some days I have a bad ache in my elbow and this odd tingly dull ache in my hand. Ice and heat therapy are not helping. Motrin and Alieve are not helping other than sometimes easing the ache. An elbow brace makes it much worse and I’ve stopped wearing one so that I can get some work done.
Folgers has been in phone contact with the doctor discussing my symptoms and the doc is beginning to lean away from Cubital Tunnel Syndrome, but needs to see me to be sure. I’ve stopped speculating at this point and I’m just adjusting things as I can to get done what I need to get done. I just seem to be getting things done very, very slowly.
My myspace and blogspot readers are bit out of the loop on this. I’m on very limited computer use due to what we suspect is a nerve disorder in my right arm. I’ve lost some muscle control, strength and dexterity. My pinky and most of my ring finger are “pins and needles” as well as parts of my hand. That’s why I’ve stopped participating in some of the groups and forums I belong to and why I’ve stopped replying to individual comments. Now that everyone is up to speed, on with the update…
I mentioned I’d update about my arm and the verdict is that we still don’t know. That’s part of the reason I’ve not said anything. I’ve not been able to get to the specialist because Folgers has been unable to get a day off. No joke. Yep, it’s one of THOSE kinds of jobs. (Catch-up moment for Myspace and Blogspot readers: Folgers has offered to cover the treatment costs of my no-insurance-having-self for this which is why I can’t take myself to the specialist. There’s a special place in heaven for altruistic people like that.)
My symptoms are worse. I’m now getting a red streak going up my hand and arm. I work until the streak is about halfway up my forearm or I can’t take the symptoms; and then, I have to take a break. Some days that’s several hours and some days that’s hardly any time at all. My editor is being very patient with me. Warm weather and driving seem to aggravate it more than being at the computer. Riding in a car, for no logical, bothers me more than sitting at my desk, but I’ve changed the set-up of my desk since this started.
Push-ups really bother me, but I’m not letting all the work I’ve put into weight loss go to waste. If I take my walk, I can’t do much for several hours. I’m having extreme difficulty in crossing my ring and pinky fingers and I know I’ve lost a lot of dexterity when it comes to typing. On some days I have no pain. Some days I have a bad ache in my elbow and this odd tingly dull ache in my hand. Ice and heat therapy are not helping. Motrin and Alieve are not helping other than sometimes easing the ache. An elbow brace makes it much worse and I’ve stopped wearing one so that I can get some work done.
Folgers has been in phone contact with the doctor discussing my symptoms and the doc is beginning to lean away from Cubital Tunnel Syndrome, but needs to see me to be sure. I’ve stopped speculating at this point and I’m just adjusting things as I can to get done what I need to get done. I just seem to be getting things done very, very slowly.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
The Beauty of a Small Town
Puffmonkey and I headed down to the emergency shelter today. We couldn’t reach anyone on the phone and decided to just drive there halfway expecting to be turned around and halfway expecting to be put to work.
If what we’re being told is correct, this was the worst tornado to hit our state in recorded history. 120 buildings were destroyed. Many of those were homes. We arrived at the shelter around noon and there seemed to be a serious lack of victims.
Don’t mistake my intentions. I’m glad there weren’t that many people, but after hurricanes and recent natural disasters we expected long lines of people in need. On one end of the cafeteria there were twelve large tables piled high with donations with more donations stowed underneath. On the other end there were six tables loaded with food. There had to be twenty feet of palates of water. Unilever (Lipton) showed up with cases of soap, shampoo and deodorants. Starbucks showed up with a donation of coffee. Outback Steak House showed up with grills and hot plates and fed us Caesar salad, BBQ chicken and wonderful steaks. Churches showed up in organized groups. One set of chaplains had a tent, water, and grills set up outside. Private citizens and churches showed up with all sorts of household items from toys to feminine hygiene products. Volunteers and donations exceeded the needs of the community.
This excess of generosity was not due to over-blown reporting of tragedy. It was due to an underestimation of human compassion. Suffolk, Virginia is the largest town, in miles, in Hampton Roads (and I think the state), but it is the smallest in population in Hampton Roads (not the state). If a family lost their home another family took them in. Churches have rosters of people offering displaced families homes. Navy wives stepped up to help Navy families. Army wives stepped up to help Army families. If my information is correct, there are more offers of housing than there are displaced families.
One family, an immigrant family, lost everything in six minutes yesterday. They lost their nail salon and their home. At least two members of the family were injured. They had a tiny infant and volunteers doted on them. I washed bottles and helped gather water for formula.
At nine o’clock this morning, the shelter had people, but no donations. Some of the volunteers ran to stores and purchased items. Some others made phone calls. By noon the shelter was overrun with donations.
Puffmonkey and I stood in people’s faces until they gave us tasks to do. When that didn’t work, we took initiative and found things to do. Victims who had shelter but lacked food, personal hygiene items, and clothing filtered in during the day. She and I would talk to them and prompt them to take what they needed. We could usually tell who was a volunteer and who was a victim. Victims looked dazed and confused whereas the volunteers looked tired, slightly bored, and ready to help some more. I wasn’t sure which overwhelmed the victims more…the disaster or the outpouring of support. One gentleman stood amongst the donations and seemed utterly confused. I asked him, “How hard were you hit, hon?”
I kept him talking as I handed him comfort kits provided by the Red Cross. I found out about his family as I gathered toys for his kids. Many of the victims didn’t seem to realize they needed items until we asked them if they had shampoo. These items are things that are usually kept in the home. One doesn’t realize they’re missing soap until they reach for what isn’t there. Puff and I loaded people up with things that they needed while pointing out food, cots, and showers.
The family with the infant had bags of things for the little one. No one donated formula and some volunteers went to the store and bought them formula. We waited on them like they were royalty. No one is limping to a trash can on my watch!
This outpouring of compassion should not be taken as an excuse to not donate time, items or money during a disaster. Suffolk was lucky in its unluckiness. Other towns and other disasters are not so lucky. I lived through Hurricane Isabel and had to help people out of their homes because organized relief efforts couldn’t reach them. I’ve had to stand in the piercing rain and 75 mph winds and clear a road with a hacksaw because organized efforts couldn’t get there. My family and I had to take it upon ourselves to find people water and organize food prep and distribution because others were too shocked to do it.
Before Puff and I headed out for home we spoke with the other volunteers. We were willing to stay overnight at the shelter and help, but we weren’t needed. People from the Red Cross, Social Services, Churches, the school and even the Department of Corrections all had representatives there. All of them were shocked to find out Puff and I were two random strangers who came into help. One lady said, “Oh? You two are real volunteers and I think you did more work than anyone else.”
Puff said, “Everyone has a job to do and we found ours.”
I think that sums up disasters quite nicely. Everyone does have a job to do. Find yours.
If what we’re being told is correct, this was the worst tornado to hit our state in recorded history. 120 buildings were destroyed. Many of those were homes. We arrived at the shelter around noon and there seemed to be a serious lack of victims.
Don’t mistake my intentions. I’m glad there weren’t that many people, but after hurricanes and recent natural disasters we expected long lines of people in need. On one end of the cafeteria there were twelve large tables piled high with donations with more donations stowed underneath. On the other end there were six tables loaded with food. There had to be twenty feet of palates of water. Unilever (Lipton) showed up with cases of soap, shampoo and deodorants. Starbucks showed up with a donation of coffee. Outback Steak House showed up with grills and hot plates and fed us Caesar salad, BBQ chicken and wonderful steaks. Churches showed up in organized groups. One set of chaplains had a tent, water, and grills set up outside. Private citizens and churches showed up with all sorts of household items from toys to feminine hygiene products. Volunteers and donations exceeded the needs of the community.
This excess of generosity was not due to over-blown reporting of tragedy. It was due to an underestimation of human compassion. Suffolk, Virginia is the largest town, in miles, in Hampton Roads (and I think the state), but it is the smallest in population in Hampton Roads (not the state). If a family lost their home another family took them in. Churches have rosters of people offering displaced families homes. Navy wives stepped up to help Navy families. Army wives stepped up to help Army families. If my information is correct, there are more offers of housing than there are displaced families.
One family, an immigrant family, lost everything in six minutes yesterday. They lost their nail salon and their home. At least two members of the family were injured. They had a tiny infant and volunteers doted on them. I washed bottles and helped gather water for formula.
At nine o’clock this morning, the shelter had people, but no donations. Some of the volunteers ran to stores and purchased items. Some others made phone calls. By noon the shelter was overrun with donations.
Puffmonkey and I stood in people’s faces until they gave us tasks to do. When that didn’t work, we took initiative and found things to do. Victims who had shelter but lacked food, personal hygiene items, and clothing filtered in during the day. She and I would talk to them and prompt them to take what they needed. We could usually tell who was a volunteer and who was a victim. Victims looked dazed and confused whereas the volunteers looked tired, slightly bored, and ready to help some more. I wasn’t sure which overwhelmed the victims more…the disaster or the outpouring of support. One gentleman stood amongst the donations and seemed utterly confused. I asked him, “How hard were you hit, hon?”
I kept him talking as I handed him comfort kits provided by the Red Cross. I found out about his family as I gathered toys for his kids. Many of the victims didn’t seem to realize they needed items until we asked them if they had shampoo. These items are things that are usually kept in the home. One doesn’t realize they’re missing soap until they reach for what isn’t there. Puff and I loaded people up with things that they needed while pointing out food, cots, and showers.
The family with the infant had bags of things for the little one. No one donated formula and some volunteers went to the store and bought them formula. We waited on them like they were royalty. No one is limping to a trash can on my watch!
This outpouring of compassion should not be taken as an excuse to not donate time, items or money during a disaster. Suffolk was lucky in its unluckiness. Other towns and other disasters are not so lucky. I lived through Hurricane Isabel and had to help people out of their homes because organized relief efforts couldn’t reach them. I’ve had to stand in the piercing rain and 75 mph winds and clear a road with a hacksaw because organized efforts couldn’t get there. My family and I had to take it upon ourselves to find people water and organize food prep and distribution because others were too shocked to do it.
Before Puff and I headed out for home we spoke with the other volunteers. We were willing to stay overnight at the shelter and help, but we weren’t needed. People from the Red Cross, Social Services, Churches, the school and even the Department of Corrections all had representatives there. All of them were shocked to find out Puff and I were two random strangers who came into help. One lady said, “Oh? You two are real volunteers and I think you did more work than anyone else.”
Puff said, “Everyone has a job to do and we found ours.”
I think that sums up disasters quite nicely. Everyone does have a job to do. Find yours.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Tornados
By now many of you have heard about the storms near me. I’m fine. My family is fine. Our property is fine. My friends are all fine. Folgers is fine. The worst of the damage is terribly close to me and affects my life in so much that roads are closed and shopping has been destroyed. That’s nothing compared to what some people are dealing with.
Let’s all take a moment and say a prayer, send positive thoughts, or do whatever your faith encourages you to do for the 200 (approximately) injured people and all of the families who have been left homeless in the wake of these tornados.
I’m trying to reach the Red Cross to find out if they need volunteers at the emergency shelter. So far, I’ve been told to contact a man in the gymnasium...no number, mind you. JUST the last name of the man in "the gymnasium" and he can tell me if volunteers are needed. Living in a small town is an adjustment.
Let’s all take a moment and say a prayer, send positive thoughts, or do whatever your faith encourages you to do for the 200 (approximately) injured people and all of the families who have been left homeless in the wake of these tornados.
I’m trying to reach the Red Cross to find out if they need volunteers at the emergency shelter. So far, I’ve been told to contact a man in the gymnasium...no number, mind you. JUST the last name of the man in "the gymnasium" and he can tell me if volunteers are needed. Living in a small town is an adjustment.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
YouTube! *shakes fist*
Another thing to add to my banned from list…YouTube.
WTF? O.o
I’ve not added new content in I can’t tell you how long. I’ve endured a relentless attack for…going on two years(?)…from a hate group that doesn’t like “teh gay” and now YouTube has suspended my account with NO REASON given.
I’ve contacted them, but I think it’s really fucked up that my AMV’s are posted by other people and are still up there. I also think it’s fucked up that me—BEING A COPYRIGHT HOLDER—was banned from YouTube.
My vids on YouTube:
1) a few AMV’s…nothing obscene and nothing that wasn’t posted elsewhere.
2) My book trailer (which is horribly out of date now).
3) Two vids talking about writing that included screen shots of the covers of a few reference books. (Referencing something is under “fair use” so no violations there.)
4) One joke vid in response to another joke vid about a fake dating service.
Umm…yeah…SO violated terms of service.
When I reported the hate group coming after me, YouTube did NOTHING. Let me tell you these guys were ruthless and unending. I had so many hate comments coming at me that I had to put all msgs from YouTube in my spam folder. And they did NOTHING about it. That group harassed another user so bad she shut down her own account and then they moved on to me.
If they want to say I violated copyright with the AMV’s, then WHY are my AMV’s posted by other users STILL on YouTube? Why are there ANY AMV’s on YouTube at all?
If they want to say my content was obscene, I want to know what video contained the obscenity. I can point to plenty of videos with people doing more risqué things than what was in any of my videos. But, I did at one point show the cover of “The Joy of Gay Sex.”
If they want to pull "copyright violation" on the book trailer…I’m gonna LAUGH!
Let’s see here…they didn’t do anything when a hate group came after me and hit me with all sorts of sexual orientation slurs. And they banned me…someone who did have gay content up.
I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but this sounds really fucking fishy to me. I’ve e-mailed them and asked them why my account was banned. We’ll see how this turns out. Again, let me stress is SOUNDS fishy and that’s a far cry from saying it is fishy. All I know at this point is while neglecting my YouTube account, I managed to violate terms of service. Yep, I did it by not up loading anything, by not changing any content and by not making my channel page all fancy. Now, it's time to laugh. I utterly failed to act and managed to get kicked off YouTube. Such talent.
Anyone know a video hosting site not run by fucktards?
WTF? O.o
I’ve not added new content in I can’t tell you how long. I’ve endured a relentless attack for…going on two years(?)…from a hate group that doesn’t like “teh gay” and now YouTube has suspended my account with NO REASON given.
I’ve contacted them, but I think it’s really fucked up that my AMV’s are posted by other people and are still up there. I also think it’s fucked up that me—BEING A COPYRIGHT HOLDER—was banned from YouTube.
My vids on YouTube:
1) a few AMV’s…nothing obscene and nothing that wasn’t posted elsewhere.
2) My book trailer (which is horribly out of date now).
3) Two vids talking about writing that included screen shots of the covers of a few reference books. (Referencing something is under “fair use” so no violations there.)
4) One joke vid in response to another joke vid about a fake dating service.
Umm…yeah…SO violated terms of service.
When I reported the hate group coming after me, YouTube did NOTHING. Let me tell you these guys were ruthless and unending. I had so many hate comments coming at me that I had to put all msgs from YouTube in my spam folder. And they did NOTHING about it. That group harassed another user so bad she shut down her own account and then they moved on to me.
If they want to say I violated copyright with the AMV’s, then WHY are my AMV’s posted by other users STILL on YouTube? Why are there ANY AMV’s on YouTube at all?
If they want to say my content was obscene, I want to know what video contained the obscenity. I can point to plenty of videos with people doing more risqué things than what was in any of my videos. But, I did at one point show the cover of “The Joy of Gay Sex.”
If they want to pull "copyright violation" on the book trailer…I’m gonna LAUGH!
Let’s see here…they didn’t do anything when a hate group came after me and hit me with all sorts of sexual orientation slurs. And they banned me…someone who did have gay content up.
I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but this sounds really fucking fishy to me. I’ve e-mailed them and asked them why my account was banned. We’ll see how this turns out. Again, let me stress is SOUNDS fishy and that’s a far cry from saying it is fishy. All I know at this point is while neglecting my YouTube account, I managed to violate terms of service. Yep, I did it by not up loading anything, by not changing any content and by not making my channel page all fancy. Now, it's time to laugh. I utterly failed to act and managed to get kicked off YouTube. Such talent.
Anyone know a video hosting site not run by fucktards?
Saturday, January 19, 2008
In Loving Memory of Abo
Note: I edited the picture incorrectly. Blame it on 30+hours without sleep. It should be 1992-2008.
Abo, my eldest son, came to be born in the living room of a friend of mine in high school. Due to his rambunctious nature, we named him after the monkey in the movie Aladdin. His littermate, Rajah, an orange and white striped tabby, was named after the tiger.
Abo earned many nicknames through out his life. Most of us lovingly called him "Boo", but "Booers", "Old Man Boo" and even "Boodini" (due to his escape artist abilities) were often used as terms of endearment.
Abo was born in December of 1992 and became a permanent fixture of my family on Valentines Day 1993.. I held him and fell in love with him before his eyes were open. I also fell in love with Rajah at that time and we lost Rajah a few years ago. I helped wean both of them from their mother. In his early years, Abo was a playful sort and always wanted attention. Attention we felt thankful to give him. Attention that I wish I could give him now.
When Rajah broke his leg and had to spend some time confined in a box, Abo seemed to take twisted pleasure in trying to get his younger brother to play. Rajah played back as best he could and eventually fully recovered from the injury. For over a decade those two were inseparable until Rajah succumbed to colon cancer.
As Abo aged, he mellowed and earned yet another nickname, "Stoner Cat", due to his laid back and "anything is fine as long as there's food" attitude. He also developed a serious desire to lick earlobes and hug necks. He could purr me awake and loved to snuggle at night.
In his twilight years, Abo became very ill and fought diabetes for several years. He became wobbly on his legs and soldiered through several seizures and vet visits while we tried to stabilize his blood sugar. At one point, we stabilized it and I looked forward to many more years with my baby. He did real well with his insulin shots. He came when he was called and even learned the sounds of his shots being prepared and came into the kitchen like a wonderful patient.
Although age was not kind to Abo, Abo was kind to everyone. When we introduced other cats into the household and even a dog, Abo was always willing to show friendship toward the new family members.
Today, we had to make a humane choice. We had to weigh Abo's declining quality of life with our desires to continue to love him. It was not an easy choice, but I know he's now in a place where the tuna never stops coming and insulin needles are no where to be found.
He died peacefully tonight with his head in the palm of my hand while I whispered that I loved him the best that I could. I wish that we all could experience such a wonderful passing.
Friday, January 04, 2008
Religious Erotica
I think this is quite fitting. If you Google “gay priest erotica” (no quotes) then my blogger is the first one up. That’s so cool! Once I get About to Sin published (and it will be published), I hope to introduce more people to the beautiful genre of religious erotica. And, not that trashy crap with priests who shouldn’t be priests, but, good priests who are really torn between being men and being priests.
Recently, I’ve taken a bit of gruff for writing gay priest erotica. I don’t think what I write is sacrilegious and I think it shows a healthy respect for the faith. I know some people won’t be able to understand that. For some people religious erotica, by its nature, is blasphemy. I hope those people find stories that they like and enjoy.
For the rest of us, let’s exchange some fic recs, shall we? Gay priest erotica is a niche genre of a niche genre so there isn’t much out there. Anyone have any recs they’d like to share?
My research for this story has taken me to some very interesting places and involved some fascinating conversations. I’ve spoken to several active and inactive priests as well as Roman and non-Roman Catholic priests. Ironically, those priests have not given me any gruff for writing what I write. One told me he couldn’t read my work because he feared it would be too much like his life. Another priest read the rough draft of my story and has offered some wonderful input. I never thought that writing gay priest erotica would help me gain a deeper respect for priests, but it has. Writing religious erotica has also helped me deepen my respect for faith in general. There’s something very special about someone who truly feels their faith…and that something is rather sexy.
As a side note: if you include the quotes in the google search, my LJ is the first hit and my website is the second and last hit. This ROCKS!
Recently, I’ve taken a bit of gruff for writing gay priest erotica. I don’t think what I write is sacrilegious and I think it shows a healthy respect for the faith. I know some people won’t be able to understand that. For some people religious erotica, by its nature, is blasphemy. I hope those people find stories that they like and enjoy.
For the rest of us, let’s exchange some fic recs, shall we? Gay priest erotica is a niche genre of a niche genre so there isn’t much out there. Anyone have any recs they’d like to share?
My research for this story has taken me to some very interesting places and involved some fascinating conversations. I’ve spoken to several active and inactive priests as well as Roman and non-Roman Catholic priests. Ironically, those priests have not given me any gruff for writing what I write. One told me he couldn’t read my work because he feared it would be too much like his life. Another priest read the rough draft of my story and has offered some wonderful input. I never thought that writing gay priest erotica would help me gain a deeper respect for priests, but it has. Writing religious erotica has also helped me deepen my respect for faith in general. There’s something very special about someone who truly feels their faith…and that something is rather sexy.
As a side note: if you include the quotes in the google search, my LJ is the first hit and my website is the second and last hit. This ROCKS!
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
General Update
I suppose I should handle a personal update first. I’m getting a few e-mails from concerned friends about rumors going around myspace. I appreciate you keeping me informed about the rumor mill. It’s nice to know that people are looking out for me. Please, allow me to address those rumors. Yes, my husband and I are splitting. Also, please, grant me the privacy to keep private issues private. I refuse to get involved in an internet mudslinging party.
I’ve been insanely busy with everything, but I’m doing well.
Now, on to writing updates! .
“Personal Demon” has been accepted by Freya’s Bower and will be included in an m/m anthology book! Woo-hoo!! I’m working with an editor I respect and trust, Karen Frontain. Freya’s Bower is a publisher I’ve wanted to work with for a while. I expect this experience to be wonderful!
As many of you know, Chip/LAP has closed. Erotic Dreams publishing has closed also. I’m sniffing out a lead as to what to do with “Full Circle”. The word is that Forbidden Publications is interested in considering Chip/LAP orphans and they handle m/m stories. I’ve contacted them for confirmation and hopefully, I’ll have a submission package for them shortly. I’m also chasing leads for “Tainted Past” and “Selling Foxx”. Those are a bit tricky as there can be no formal announcements as to their fate or any official decisions prior to the rights reverting back to me. Chip/LAP’s rights to those titles ends on Nov. 30th.
“About to Sin” is nearly finished and currently hits at over 96,000 words. Only 40,000 of those words were ever published. I believe “About to Sin” is strong enough and long enough for print publishing. I think I owe it to myself and my readers to at least try for that. I don’t know if I will succeed, but I must try. I’ve compiled a very short list of agents who deal with titles similar to “About to Sin”. My goal for this title is to have it completely written by the end of the year and polished and submission ready by February.
Open calls of submissions:
Freya’s Bower is doing an m/m anthology edited by Karen Frontain. FB and Karen both have excellent reputations. That call of submission is open until the end of December. From what I understand this will be an e-book anthology. Here’s some information about it.
Freya's Bower invites you to submit your short stories with m/m content for an all m/m anthology. Any genre story: fantasy, western, contemporary, science fiction, horror, historical. We'd like to have a nice mix of genres for this anth. Stories should be between 6,000 to 10,000 words, but we will consider manuscripts a little shorter or a little longer. For submission guidelines as to what Freya's Bower will accept as story content, please visit http://www.freyasbower.com/content/view/12/59/
Double-space your manuscript. Include a header with the title of the story, your name and numbered pages. Indent each new paragraph .5 inches. If there is a scene break, indicate it with a centered***.
All submissions must include:
1. your full name, a pseudonym if used,
2. a brief synopsis, subject or genre,
3. the story attached
4. 'Submission to mm anthology' must be in the subject line,
5. Mail submissions and/or direct queries to kmfrontain@yahoo.ca
Submissions for the anthology close December 31, 2007.
Also, Phaze will be handling Coming Together with Pride edited by Alessia Brio. Phaze and Alessia Brio both have excellent reputations. Here’s a link for more information: Coming Together with Pride . The calls of submission close at the end of December. Coming Together with Pride will be both e-book and print (if my information is correct). Special note: authors will not be getting royalties from this title. This is a charity title and proceeds will be going to HIV/AIDS research. For future reference, keep an eye on Alessia Brio and her Coming Together series. The authors in her anthologies are wonderfully talented and she has several anthologies dedicated to a variety of special causes. I believe there’s another anthology planned to help those hurt by the fires in California. As a reader and/or writer, please support these anthologies. Another special note: stories for this anthology can be m/m, f/f, m/f, etc...even though it's "with Pride" the stories need not be homosexual in nature and the stories themselves need not address HIV/AIDS.
Special note about Phaze: They will not handle any titles with a Catholic priest or nun in a sexual situation.
I’ve been insanely busy with everything, but I’m doing well.
Now, on to writing updates! .
“Personal Demon” has been accepted by Freya’s Bower and will be included in an m/m anthology book! Woo-hoo!! I’m working with an editor I respect and trust, Karen Frontain. Freya’s Bower is a publisher I’ve wanted to work with for a while. I expect this experience to be wonderful!
As many of you know, Chip/LAP has closed. Erotic Dreams publishing has closed also. I’m sniffing out a lead as to what to do with “Full Circle”. The word is that Forbidden Publications is interested in considering Chip/LAP orphans and they handle m/m stories. I’ve contacted them for confirmation and hopefully, I’ll have a submission package for them shortly. I’m also chasing leads for “Tainted Past” and “Selling Foxx”. Those are a bit tricky as there can be no formal announcements as to their fate or any official decisions prior to the rights reverting back to me. Chip/LAP’s rights to those titles ends on Nov. 30th.
“About to Sin” is nearly finished and currently hits at over 96,000 words. Only 40,000 of those words were ever published. I believe “About to Sin” is strong enough and long enough for print publishing. I think I owe it to myself and my readers to at least try for that. I don’t know if I will succeed, but I must try. I’ve compiled a very short list of agents who deal with titles similar to “About to Sin”. My goal for this title is to have it completely written by the end of the year and polished and submission ready by February.
Open calls of submissions:
Freya’s Bower is doing an m/m anthology edited by Karen Frontain. FB and Karen both have excellent reputations. That call of submission is open until the end of December. From what I understand this will be an e-book anthology. Here’s some information about it.
Freya's Bower invites you to submit your short stories with m/m content for an all m/m anthology. Any genre story: fantasy, western, contemporary, science fiction, horror, historical. We'd like to have a nice mix of genres for this anth. Stories should be between 6,000 to 10,000 words, but we will consider manuscripts a little shorter or a little longer. For submission guidelines as to what Freya's Bower will accept as story content, please visit http://www.freyasbower.com/content/view/12/59/
Double-space your manuscript. Include a header with the title of the story, your name and numbered pages. Indent each new paragraph .5 inches. If there is a scene break, indicate it with a centered***.
All submissions must include:
1. your full name, a pseudonym if used,
2. a brief synopsis, subject or genre,
3. the story attached
4. 'Submission to mm anthology' must be in the subject line,
5. Mail submissions and/or direct queries to kmfrontain@yahoo.ca
Submissions for the anthology close December 31, 2007.
Also, Phaze will be handling Coming Together with Pride edited by Alessia Brio. Phaze and Alessia Brio both have excellent reputations. Here’s a link for more information: Coming Together with Pride . The calls of submission close at the end of December. Coming Together with Pride will be both e-book and print (if my information is correct). Special note: authors will not be getting royalties from this title. This is a charity title and proceeds will be going to HIV/AIDS research. For future reference, keep an eye on Alessia Brio and her Coming Together series. The authors in her anthologies are wonderfully talented and she has several anthologies dedicated to a variety of special causes. I believe there’s another anthology planned to help those hurt by the fires in California. As a reader and/or writer, please support these anthologies. Another special note: stories for this anthology can be m/m, f/f, m/f, etc...even though it's "with Pride" the stories need not be homosexual in nature and the stories themselves need not address HIV/AIDS.
Special note about Phaze: They will not handle any titles with a Catholic priest or nun in a sexual situation.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
A Blast from the Past
Wow! I just got off the phone with Barry Geiman . He and I used to talk on a regular basis when I worked with Maureen Sharib. This was part of my life before writing.
I really owe both of them a huge apology. If you think I hermit on you guys by going quiet for a couple of months, you have no idea. It’s been a year…two years…umm…more(?) since I’ve spoken with them.
Literally, I was there and active one day and gone then next. The truth is that I, frankly, sucked at the work. I understood the principles. I enjoyed the work and when I was good I was really good; however, I sucked most of the time and I have absolutely no ability in business development. It was through their unintended guidance that I owe thanks, in part, for my writing career.
While working in research, I wrote a couple of articles. The articles were more popular than my actually work. LOL! Gee…what a hint. A few months later, I received a phone call from J.V. (mentioned in my bio inside Full Circle) and she made me promise to try to get published.
So, if you enjoy my work, you need to thank not only J.V., but also Barry Geiman and Maureen Sharib.
I really owe both of them a huge apology. If you think I hermit on you guys by going quiet for a couple of months, you have no idea. It’s been a year…two years…umm…more(?) since I’ve spoken with them.
Literally, I was there and active one day and gone then next. The truth is that I, frankly, sucked at the work. I understood the principles. I enjoyed the work and when I was good I was really good; however, I sucked most of the time and I have absolutely no ability in business development. It was through their unintended guidance that I owe thanks, in part, for my writing career.
While working in research, I wrote a couple of articles. The articles were more popular than my actually work. LOL! Gee…what a hint. A few months later, I received a phone call from J.V. (mentioned in my bio inside Full Circle) and she made me promise to try to get published.
So, if you enjoy my work, you need to thank not only J.V., but also Barry Geiman and Maureen Sharib.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Today we bid farewell to...
Today we say farewell to another keyboard. Replacement Keyboard lived an especially short life and was snatched into Keyboard Heaven rather early. While here, Replacement Keyboard preformed with mediocre abilities and toward the end of its life completely forgot its multi-media functions...except for volume control.
Volume control worked especially hard and well and was always diligent with its green bars at the bottom of the screen duties. Although senile and with numerous buttons faded, Replacement Keyboard did try its best to provide hot words and a pleasing blue light.
I wish we could say that we would miss Replacement Keyboard, with its clear nail polish cosmetic surgery enhancements, but that is not the case. We shall only miss the money that will go toward Replacement Keyboard Number 2.
We will NOT miss the crappy and ill-designed Back-Up Keyboard Number 2 one little bit.
Electrons to electrons. Microchips to microchips. We do not return Replacement Keyboard back to its maker for it is no longer under warranty. Yea though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of CompUSA, I shall fear only non-multi-media keyboards for the spirit of volume control aren't with me.
Go in peace.
Ok, ok, so that was a sub-par eulogy, but the keyboard DID suck. >.< What did it last? A year or so?
Volume control worked especially hard and well and was always diligent with its green bars at the bottom of the screen duties. Although senile and with numerous buttons faded, Replacement Keyboard did try its best to provide hot words and a pleasing blue light.
I wish we could say that we would miss Replacement Keyboard, with its clear nail polish cosmetic surgery enhancements, but that is not the case. We shall only miss the money that will go toward Replacement Keyboard Number 2.
We will NOT miss the crappy and ill-designed Back-Up Keyboard Number 2 one little bit.
Electrons to electrons. Microchips to microchips. We do not return Replacement Keyboard back to its maker for it is no longer under warranty. Yea though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of CompUSA, I shall fear only non-multi-media keyboards for the spirit of volume control aren't with me.
Go in peace.
Ok, ok, so that was a sub-par eulogy, but the keyboard DID suck. >.< What did it last? A year or so?
Saturday, September 08, 2007
Tropical Storm Gabrielle
If there are any weather/news junkies here, you may have noticed there's a little storm off the coast. Gabrielle has been upgraded from subtropical to tropical. This is a minor storm, very minor, and it is expected to graze my area. If the power flickers I'll be surprised. We're looking at...get this...water rise of one foot.
>.>
<.<
One foot? And this is news? The places that are in the direct path are looking at a water rise of about three feet. It's supposed to hit some time between low tide and high tide. If it hits early and close to low tide the water rise will take it to about the level of normal high tide. If it hits closer at high tide we're looking at basically a double high tide. The wind speeds MIGHT, possibly, if a large crowd sneezes to help this gimpy little storm, reach gusts of 60 mph.
*yawn*
Anyways, I didn't want anyone worrying.
>.>
<.<
One foot? And this is news? The places that are in the direct path are looking at a water rise of about three feet. It's supposed to hit some time between low tide and high tide. If it hits early and close to low tide the water rise will take it to about the level of normal high tide. If it hits closer at high tide we're looking at basically a double high tide. The wind speeds MIGHT, possibly, if a large crowd sneezes to help this gimpy little storm, reach gusts of 60 mph.
*yawn*
Anyways, I didn't want anyone worrying.
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Whew.
I neglected the tags (AKA Labels) for this blog. I've gone back and added them to non-bunk posts. I'm still working on the next part of the Writing Process series, but at least you now have tags to use to find anything you may want to find, right?
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Home
I'm home and doing better than expected. The surgery went very well even if it did take a bit longer than expected. I'm groggy and in pain, but this is nothing compared to the bikini cut I went through last time. Yippie for me! And only one night in the hospital this time! Yippie again!
Big hugs,
Cupnjava
Big hugs,
Cupnjava
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Surgery Tomorrow
I'll be going in for surgery tomorrow. My hospital stay is expect to be 1-3 days. I'll continue the writing process series when I'm functional again. I don't want to write pain-meds-infected bunk just to make a post. I will post when I'm home so that everyone will know I'm all right.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Looking for an old friend and writer!
The erotica writing world is small. It seems as if everyone knows everyone else and reputation, good, bad or indifferent, travels faster than introductions.
And yet, I can’t track down a particular writer.
Jennifer and I attended the same college, Christopher Newport University, during my freshman year. She was a English major and at the time I leaned toward history. I laughed and talked to her more than I attended class and it showed in my grades.
She was extremely influential in my life. More influential than she’d ever realize. Jennifer was the first Democrat and feminist I’d ever met—college student by day, stripper at night and erotic writer for SMUT magazine during her free time. I know that some people do not think that stripping and being feminist can exist in the same person. She made it work and she told me one time, “What’s more empowering than seeing men give me the most valuable thing in our society, money, for looking at me in what could be considered a bikini? They grovel. They really grovel.” (We lived in a state that where strippers were and still are not allowed to get fully naked.)
She loved Rocky and Bullwinkle (her secret passion) and bondage (her not-so-secret passion). While introducing me to the gloriousness of Vermont Maple Sugar Candy, she’d tell me stories about Republicans that I’d never heard before. I was raised in the Republican household and hadn’t yet found my own political affiliation.
Jennifer wrote under her real name telling me, “If I write something, I want full credit for it. I want everyone I know to know I wrote this.” She defined what it meant to me to be a sexy, confident, intelligent woman.
After she graduated, she tried to get her Master’s Degree in Alabama. A good ole boy told her, “Ya know, you’re pretty enough that you don’t need college to get a husband.” And she came back to Virginia for her MS.
For as much as I cared for her and as influential as he was in my life, I cannot recall her last name. If anyone knows anyone who fits the above description, please let me know. I’d love to talk to her again. If anyone knows a writer for SMUT magazine (circa 1993 and/or 1994 at least) with the first name of Jennifer, please tell me and I’ll try to track her down that way. Even if it’s 12 different Jennifers.
When I knew her, she was about 5’6” or 5’7”, maroon hair (possibly a natural brunet), had the body to be a well paid stripper and wasn’t afraid to speak her mind about a damn thing.
And yet, I can’t track down a particular writer.
Jennifer and I attended the same college, Christopher Newport University, during my freshman year. She was a English major and at the time I leaned toward history. I laughed and talked to her more than I attended class and it showed in my grades.
She was extremely influential in my life. More influential than she’d ever realize. Jennifer was the first Democrat and feminist I’d ever met—college student by day, stripper at night and erotic writer for SMUT magazine during her free time. I know that some people do not think that stripping and being feminist can exist in the same person. She made it work and she told me one time, “What’s more empowering than seeing men give me the most valuable thing in our society, money, for looking at me in what could be considered a bikini? They grovel. They really grovel.” (We lived in a state that where strippers were and still are not allowed to get fully naked.)
She loved Rocky and Bullwinkle (her secret passion) and bondage (her not-so-secret passion). While introducing me to the gloriousness of Vermont Maple Sugar Candy, she’d tell me stories about Republicans that I’d never heard before. I was raised in the Republican household and hadn’t yet found my own political affiliation.
Jennifer wrote under her real name telling me, “If I write something, I want full credit for it. I want everyone I know to know I wrote this.” She defined what it meant to me to be a sexy, confident, intelligent woman.
After she graduated, she tried to get her Master’s Degree in Alabama. A good ole boy told her, “Ya know, you’re pretty enough that you don’t need college to get a husband.” And she came back to Virginia for her MS.
For as much as I cared for her and as influential as he was in my life, I cannot recall her last name. If anyone knows anyone who fits the above description, please let me know. I’d love to talk to her again. If anyone knows a writer for SMUT magazine (circa 1993 and/or 1994 at least) with the first name of Jennifer, please tell me and I’ll try to track her down that way. Even if it’s 12 different Jennifers.
When I knew her, she was about 5’6” or 5’7”, maroon hair (possibly a natural brunet), had the body to be a well paid stripper and wasn’t afraid to speak her mind about a damn thing.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
But, I can write.
I’m at 1,700 words for the first draft of the fourth installment of About to Sin. It’s moving slowly because I’m helping a friend move. Ever try helping a 50+ year old woman with ADD pack?
I don’t recommend it.
We’ll start in one room and before I know it she’s followed some “Red Ballon” into another room. I go behind her and repack all of the boxes. She’s the only person I’ve ever known who tried to put cosmetics, jewelry, weaponry, and physics books in the same box.
However, I have received permission to fictionalize her situation. In a way I feel helpless. I can’t wave a wand and heal her broken heart. I can’t snap my fingers and make her understand why her lover did what she did. I can’t wiggle my nose and allow her to remember 10 awesome years and erase one horrible day. I can’t do any of that, but I can write.
I want to see her with a happy ending and I can’t think of any way except writing it. I’m no therapist. I don’t understand, fully, what it means when she says that her therapist says her lover had been dissembling. But, I can write.
What are the ethics of fictionalizing fact? I can disguise it enough (no one, no reader, no publisher, no editor would accept the real way they broke up) to shatter the fact behind it. Also, I write m/m so even the genders will change. And the fact will be the start of the story not the meat or the end. So, I’m not worried about the other woman discovering the story, seeing herself and suing me. My friend has given me permission, so I’m not worried about her thinking I’m trying to capitalize on her pain.
Can anyone think of something I’m missing on why this is a bad idea? (No, not the story, but fictionalizing fact in general.) I’ve never walked down this road before. Is this something that's generally not allowed? I don’t want to put my publisher or myself in a compromising position. If I have to, I’ll write it just for her. If I do that, I’ll keep it lesbian which will be interesting for me to write. LOL!
Any advice?
I don’t recommend it.
We’ll start in one room and before I know it she’s followed some “Red Ballon” into another room. I go behind her and repack all of the boxes. She’s the only person I’ve ever known who tried to put cosmetics, jewelry, weaponry, and physics books in the same box.
However, I have received permission to fictionalize her situation. In a way I feel helpless. I can’t wave a wand and heal her broken heart. I can’t snap my fingers and make her understand why her lover did what she did. I can’t wiggle my nose and allow her to remember 10 awesome years and erase one horrible day. I can’t do any of that, but I can write.
I want to see her with a happy ending and I can’t think of any way except writing it. I’m no therapist. I don’t understand, fully, what it means when she says that her therapist says her lover had been dissembling. But, I can write.
What are the ethics of fictionalizing fact? I can disguise it enough (no one, no reader, no publisher, no editor would accept the real way they broke up) to shatter the fact behind it. Also, I write m/m so even the genders will change. And the fact will be the start of the story not the meat or the end. So, I’m not worried about the other woman discovering the story, seeing herself and suing me. My friend has given me permission, so I’m not worried about her thinking I’m trying to capitalize on her pain.
Can anyone think of something I’m missing on why this is a bad idea? (No, not the story, but fictionalizing fact in general.) I’ve never walked down this road before. Is this something that's generally not allowed? I don’t want to put my publisher or myself in a compromising position. If I have to, I’ll write it just for her. If I do that, I’ll keep it lesbian which will be interesting for me to write. LOL!
Any advice?
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Computer woes update
Greetings from my new HDD!
Let’s all take a lesson from this and learn to back-up more frequently. >.< Yeah, I lost a lot of work and I’m kicking myself for it. I didn’t lose EVERYTHING. I found a back up that I’d forgotten I made. WHEW!
Not only did I get a new HDD, but I also snagged a 4gig flash drive for back up. I’m gonna eventually get an external HDD and do a FULL back up every two weeks or so.
Let’s all take a lesson from this and learn to back-up more frequently. >.< Yeah, I lost a lot of work and I’m kicking myself for it. I didn’t lose EVERYTHING. I found a back up that I’d forgotten I made. WHEW!
Not only did I get a new HDD, but I also snagged a 4gig flash drive for back up. I’m gonna eventually get an external HDD and do a FULL back up every two weeks or so.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Computer Problems
My computer has crashed. I think I've lost everything. I think I'm going to cry for a few days.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Net and phone connection, huh?
I just had the strangest technical error with my net. My net and phone are handled by the same company. My connection started to crawl and then cut out. I checked the phone and didn’t have a dial tone. I knew my account was up to date and I hadn’t been cut off so I called tech support.
They detected no dial tone also and sent me to the techs. The tech called me back and we checked all of my phone connections. Something I should have done before calling helpdesk.
I have cordless phones in the house. One phone sits on a base and that one is connected to the phone line. There’s a remote station that holds the other phone and all it needs it power no phone cord. If the main handset goes dead, then the remote won’t work. My roommate kicked the plug out of the wall and the base went dead. Once I plugged that back in and put a charged handset on the base, presto, my dial tone came back.
THEN my net came back.
I’m on cable internet. Those two shouldn’t be connected. I don’t understand it, but you can bet if I ever have a problem again I’m going to check the plugs before calling.
I’m such and idiot for not checking that first.
They detected no dial tone also and sent me to the techs. The tech called me back and we checked all of my phone connections. Something I should have done before calling helpdesk.
I have cordless phones in the house. One phone sits on a base and that one is connected to the phone line. There’s a remote station that holds the other phone and all it needs it power no phone cord. If the main handset goes dead, then the remote won’t work. My roommate kicked the plug out of the wall and the base went dead. Once I plugged that back in and put a charged handset on the base, presto, my dial tone came back.
THEN my net came back.
I’m on cable internet. Those two shouldn’t be connected. I don’t understand it, but you can bet if I ever have a problem again I’m going to check the plugs before calling.
I’m such and idiot for not checking that first.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Duct tape can do anything.
More proof that duct tape can fix anything.
There was a study done that shows duct tape (tape occlusion therapy) was more effective than removing warts than cryotherapy.
Nope, this wasn’t from some wacky website. Don’t trust what you read on the web? Neither do I, but I do trust the American Academy of Family Physicians and the Mayo Clinic.
According to this study...
In patients treated with duct tape, 85 percent of the warts completely resolved, compared with 60 percent in the cryotherapy group.
I wonder if the creators of duct tape had any idea how their product would be used? I’ve heard of this stuff fixing plumbing leaks (temp fix of course), fixing cars (temp fix I hope), holding together furniture, used as part of an emergency splint, used to create furniture, held together parts of an airplane (scary!) and all sorts of stuff. Now it’s been clinically proven to be effective in the removal of warts.
Ain’t innovation something? In honor of duct tape’s contribution to society and humanity, I’m going to try to use it in a story. Now, hmm...I wonder...how can an erotica writer use duct tape?
Actually, it’s not advised to use duct tape as a substitute for bondage tape. Something about the stickiness being too much for that much skin and "struggling." But, I do write fictional erotica not tales from true life stuff. I wonder how much the B&D community would scream if I paid a little homage to duct tape?
There was a study done that shows duct tape (tape occlusion therapy) was more effective than removing warts than cryotherapy.
Nope, this wasn’t from some wacky website. Don’t trust what you read on the web? Neither do I, but I do trust the American Academy of Family Physicians and the Mayo Clinic.
According to this study...
In patients treated with duct tape, 85 percent of the warts completely resolved, compared with 60 percent in the cryotherapy group.
I wonder if the creators of duct tape had any idea how their product would be used? I’ve heard of this stuff fixing plumbing leaks (temp fix of course), fixing cars (temp fix I hope), holding together furniture, used as part of an emergency splint, used to create furniture, held together parts of an airplane (scary!) and all sorts of stuff. Now it’s been clinically proven to be effective in the removal of warts.
Ain’t innovation something? In honor of duct tape’s contribution to society and humanity, I’m going to try to use it in a story. Now, hmm...I wonder...how can an erotica writer use duct tape?
Actually, it’s not advised to use duct tape as a substitute for bondage tape. Something about the stickiness being too much for that much skin and "struggling." But, I do write fictional erotica not tales from true life stuff. I wonder how much the B&D community would scream if I paid a little homage to duct tape?
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