How in the fuck does Rep. Broun function?

Quote: "All that stuff I was taught about evolution and embryology and Big Bang theory, all that is lies straight from the pit of hell. And it's lies to try to keep me and all the folks who are taught that from understanding that they need a savior." 

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, not only is evolution a trick from Satan himself and The Big Bang some kind of evil Jedi mindtrick, but EMBRYOS are also a lie meant to trick you into ripping your soul away from Jesus. Because a powerful demon lord needs to come up with embryos in order to do his bidding. He might be immortal and can break through the fabric of space and time, but he needs some theoretical idea to get your soul. Sure, he could just possess you, but where's the fun in that? Nope, Satan needs people think embryos exist to function. If we'd all stop believing in embryos Satan would be powerless.

I've not quite figured out how knowing about embryos will take you away from Jesus, but I'm sure Rep. Broun will tell us.

Still believe in embryos? Why do you hate America? Why do you let the terrorist win?

What really scares me is not so much that he sits on a science committee because that's downright frightening, but this man is voting on laws dealing with reproductive health. He doesn't believe in embryos, but he's passing or blocking laws that deal with pregnancy. He's voting on agricultural bills and whatnot. The man DOES NOT BELIEVE IN EMBRYOS! How...I just...I can't even... does not compute. Does not compute. Does...not....snzzert.

Thoughts on Masturbation

I’ve recently gotten into a show called “Being Erica”. I’m playing catch-up via Hulu and I watched an episode the other day that got me thinking. Erica walked in on Ethan while he was masturbating and that was a problem for her. I read through the comments of other viewers and, apparently, many people feel that their partner masturbating is a problem.

I don’t get it. I don’t understand this at all.

Masturbation isn’t just for single people. For someone who is single, it might be a replacement for sex. For someone who is in a relationship, masturbation might be a way of seeking relief when their partner is unavailable or not interested, but masturbation is much more than that.

It’s not just a substitute for sex. It’s a form of self-expression. It’s a sexual outlet that can be fully self-serving. A person can “test run” fantasies or techniques before sharing them with their partner. There’s no performance pressure with masturbation. It’s also a way of reconnecting with one’s own body and one’s on tastes. If I can’t give myself an orgasm, how can I expect anyone else to?

I’m sure that in the whole history of relationships there have been moments where someone rejected their willing partner and masturbated instead of having sex. If that has happened, I suspect there are a lot more problems in that relationship than just masturbation.

Generally speaking, masturbation isn’t connected to rejection. It’s self-exploration. It’s a time to get lost in selfish desires.

I have walked in on partners who were masturbating. I stood there with a smile on my face and watched. It was hot! Very sexy. It gave me the chance to observe my partner and feel like a naughty voyeur. When I was noticed, I asked them to continue and offered to help or just provide an audience. One time it turned into a very hot moment that I will keep private.

Erica was also upset about Ethan watching porn while masturbating. I don’t understand this either.

There’s porn—a fantasy world. It’s ridiculous and campy. It can be raunchy and debauched or it can be soft and almost sweet.

There’s coupled interactions—this is real. It can play out a fantasy, but it is real people interacting in the real world. It can be everything from amazing to a clumsy comedy of errors.

They’re two different worlds and they serve very different needs. I don’t understand why someone would be upset that their partner is watching porn. I can understand if the behavior is unhealthy. If there was some kind of porn addiction or something like that. I can also understand feelings of rejection if someone is treated poorly because they lack a pornstar figure. If that is going on, then the relationship has bigger problems than someone masturbating while watching porn.

Am I unusual in thinking there’s nothing wrong with watching porn and masturbating regardless of one’s relationship status? I see nothing wrong with masturbation. If the relationship is good and if the sex life within the relationship is healthy, why would it be a problem?

It’s my body. I’m going to touch it if I want to.

New Fetish

Here's a fetish I never saw coming. O.o

Stuck in the sticky

I'll never view a grown man chewing bubble gum with the same eyes again.

Stewart and Cramer

I just finished watching the full Stewart and Cramer interview on www.thedailyshow.com. Normally, I don’t recommend getting news from Jon Stewart. Yes, he’s informative. Yes, he offers a unique perspective on world events. Yes, he’s entertaining. However, he’s a comedian. He’s not news.

But! This interview is exceptional.

If I could, I’d thank Cramer for agreeing to the interview. I gained some respect for the man. I feel like he was honest with Stewart. We cannot change the past. Experts will make mistakes. It’s positively refreshing to watch someone say, “We screwed up.” (NOT a direct quote) It’s even more refreshing to watch a professional say, “It’s legal, but it’s shenanigans and should be stopped. And, furthermore, I once participated in it.” (NOT a direct quote)

Bravo Cramer. Bravo for admitting your mistakes. Bravo for admitting CNBC could have done more. Bravo for listening and not blaming “loser homeowners”. Bravo, Jon Stewart, for being so damn insightful.

What happened to our news when I feel like in-depth reporting comes from a comedian? When did fancy graphics and an interactive map replace good solid reporting? When did the news become bloated with commentary and opinion and bereft of fact and investigation?

Hey, news networks! If I want commentary and opinion, I’ll read a damn blog. If I’m tuning into the news, I want news. Yes, interview people, but don’t assume they’re being honest. If Jon Steward and Stephen Colbert can pull clips from the past showing contradictions, why can’t you? And, for crying out loud, please stop playing the freaking commentary and opinion on the screen while the real news scrolls across the bottom.

Our economy is in shambles. I don’t pretend to understand how we got here, but with three 24-hours news networks and two 24-hour financial news networks, shouldn’t someone be reporting on the dirty backroom deals on Wall Street? Shouldn’t someone shine some light on the shady-but-legal artificial means of manipulating the market? Why does it feel like the people who most believe in a free market economy are the ones who artificially control and manipulate it?

Has Wall Street abandoned ethics? Did Wall Street ever have ethics?

Crazytrain off-loading at Crazytown

Hi again.

(Insert litany of excuses for not blogging)

With all the authors wigging out, tweaking out, flipping out, and flaking out in obvious and subtle ways, it makes a gal a little nervous to blog. Shit, what if I’m batshit insane too, but I don’t know it? LOL We all have our hidden crazy, right? Maybe we like the Saiyuki collector “action figures” to be a certain freaking way on our bookshelves and we’re a bit miffed because we currently don’t have the room to place them JUST SO. Or maybe we turn into Ultima "Bitch from Hell" when our working time is interrupted for stupid shit. (Are you bleeding? Is someone dying? Is something on fire? No? It’s not an emergency, fuck off.) Or maybe I’m showing a bit too much of my hidden crazy right now. LOL

If we live, work, and play on the internet long enough we will eventually type something that sounded oh-so-good at the time. A few years later and…shit…it’s still there. We hope it gets buried in the bowels of google, but it’s still THERE.

But, sometimes there is a group of people who tend to reveal their crazy a bit too often and too frequently. Authors are one of those groups of people. We start writing and all of sudden we start smoking (anyone seen my lighter…the one shaped like a coffee cup?), then we get way too many cats (the four in this house are fine btw and the crapload outside seem to be fine too.), then we start drinking (OMG Blue, the mandarin vodka was awesome!), then comes absinthe, then drugs, and finally we off ourselves.

Did I REALLY thoroughly think about this career path?

Speaking of career paths, while I was off working and dealing with life, I missed a pretty important announcement. Metaldog/Irondog (anyone know what penname she’s using for her work? I forgot to ask on the phone last night) has TWO contracts with TQ! How awesome is that? Good job, MD! We’re all cheering for you, dear. (Hope you thought about this career path.)

But, I thought I’d check in with everyone and let ya’ll know that I still have the same level of crazy that I’ve always had. So far, I’ve not experienced any alien abductions or revelations from God. My spiritual life is what it has always been: sometimes I go to Mass, sometimes I go to church, sometimes I go to drum circle, and sometimes I look at the wall and think I should be doing something else (playing a lvl 80 holy spec priest does not get one closer to God BTW). The dog next door, Sam, isn’t talking to me. There’s no grape Kool-Aid in the house and no one is getting castrated. Furthermore, I have no intention of walking away from my keyboard or genre. I’m just much, much slower than before due to this nerve problem that will, probably, never go away.

Not dead yet!

Whoa…yeah…I’m not dead, yet. LOL!

Life is a funny thing, ya know. You settled down in a routine and think you can coast a while with everything being status quo. Then, something happens and tosses everything in a tizzy.

As many of you know, I’ve separated from my husband. Needless to say, that involved a move. A friend of mine, recently single, and another friend of mine, also recently single, decided we’d all make great roommates. Father Bryan moved at the same time I moved and we helped each other move. He’s living in a place that better fits his personality, but isn’t too far for visits. Thus began the “move that never ends”.

Once I get into a routine and something breaks it, it’s very difficult for me to get back into a routine. When another author pointed out that I hadn’t updated jack-squat since mid-Feb, I realized I REALLY needed to make a better effort at getting back into my routine. I apologize for causing worry in those who have contacted me to make sure I was still breathing.

I’ve been busy. (When have I not said that?) Between the separation, the move that never ends, working (not as hard as I should) on edits, Rascal going through his whole “I want the world to know I hate moving” phase, and making time in my life for Folgers…I’ve been MIA on my blogs. (Folgers: The best part of waking up is Folgers in your Cup. You fill in the blanks.)

This, ladies and gentlemen, is an example of poor writing discipline and, let me cut myself a little slack here, an example of when life explodes all over the place. I now live in a very rural area where the cows and alpacas outnumber the people. It’s taken a bit to adjust to rural life, but I’m enjoying it thus far.

Oh, and did I mention a hacker attack of a very personal nature, my desk falling apart during the move (I’m currently working on half the space I’m accustomed to with it propped up by boxes), a death threat, and trying to switch from night shift to day shift. Yeah…life has been like that. LOL!

Story Updates:

About to Sin: I’ve heard back from one beta. There are a few minor corrections suggested by him and then it’s back to waiting on the other betas. I’ll wait another week and drop a line asking if they’ve forgotten about me. If I don’t hear back from them shortly, I’ll have to face agents and publishers without full beta attention.

Personal Demon: In the hands of my editor. The artwork is in and we’re hoping for the anthology to be released mid to late 2008.

Full Circle: In the hands of my editor being brought into Freya’s Bower’s house style. We’re hoping for re-release later this year.

Tainted Past: Currently undergoing plot edits and in my hands. I’m going to say we’re hoping for release later this year, but my gut tells me early next year.

Selling Foxx: Currently in the hands of my editor and we’re expecting that anthology to be out in the next few months. The last date I heard was July, but I don’t know how solid that was. So, when Coming Together with Pride is released, I’ll let you know. That will be both an e-book and a paper book. You’ll be able to get the ebook a couple of months before the paper book will be on Amazon.

Next WIP: Other than About to Sin, I’ll be giving a bulk of my attention to my comedy sci-fi story. I have a lot of dark titles coming out and I don’t want readers to think I only write dark fiction. I want a snarky comedy in there so that my author brand doesn’t get pigeonholed.

Frankly, I’m doing quite well and emotionally I feel as if I’m in a better place than I have been in a long time. I’m just having difficulty getting my act together after this latest life interruption. I’m feeling the itch to write when I’m unable to get to a keyboard or too tired to see straight. All in all, life has been good the past few months and I hope the same holds true for all of you.

YouTube! *shakes fist*

Another thing to add to my banned from list…YouTube.

WTF? O.o

I’ve not added new content in I can’t tell you how long. I’ve endured a relentless attack for…going on two years(?)…from a hate group that doesn’t like “teh gay” and now YouTube has suspended my account with NO REASON given.

I’ve contacted them, but I think it’s really fucked up that my AMV’s are posted by other people and are still up there. I also think it’s fucked up that me—BEING A COPYRIGHT HOLDER—was banned from YouTube.

My vids on YouTube:

1) a few AMV’s…nothing obscene and nothing that wasn’t posted elsewhere.
2) My book trailer (which is horribly out of date now).
3) Two vids talking about writing that included screen shots of the covers of a few reference books. (Referencing something is under “fair use” so no violations there.)
4) One joke vid in response to another joke vid about a fake dating service.

Umm…yeah…SO violated terms of service.

When I reported the hate group coming after me, YouTube did NOTHING. Let me tell you these guys were ruthless and unending. I had so many hate comments coming at me that I had to put all msgs from YouTube in my spam folder. And they did NOTHING about it. That group harassed another user so bad she shut down her own account and then they moved on to me.

If they want to say I violated copyright with the AMV’s, then WHY are my AMV’s posted by other users STILL on YouTube? Why are there ANY AMV’s on YouTube at all?

If they want to say my content was obscene, I want to know what video contained the obscenity. I can point to plenty of videos with people doing more risqué things than what was in any of my videos. But, I did at one point show the cover of “The Joy of Gay Sex.”

If they want to pull "copyright violation" on the book trailer…I’m gonna LAUGH!

Let’s see here…they didn’t do anything when a hate group came after me and hit me with all sorts of sexual orientation slurs. And they banned me…someone who did have gay content up.

I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but this sounds really fucking fishy to me. I’ve e-mailed them and asked them why my account was banned. We’ll see how this turns out. Again, let me stress is SOUNDS fishy and that’s a far cry from saying it is fishy. All I know at this point is while neglecting my YouTube account, I managed to violate terms of service. Yep, I did it by not up loading anything, by not changing any content and by not making my channel page all fancy. Now, it's time to laugh. I utterly failed to act and managed to get kicked off YouTube. Such talent.

Anyone know a video hosting site not run by fucktards?

Why...oh nevermind why...(And 2008 writing goals)

And it’s 2008!

I had a wonderful holiday and a fabulous New Year; I hope everyone else did too!

Every so often when I’m reading stuff on the net, I wonder, “Where do these authors get this from?” We’ve all seen major grammatical infractions and I’m sure we’ve all wondered, “Why?”

When I’m reading a print book and the author shoves a conversation between two characters in one paragraph, I no longer wonder why.

A print book.

Yes, print.

I think I’ll carry this book with me and use it to slap anyone who regards e-books as being lesser publishing than print books.

Anyway…

So, 2007 was a bit of a publishing roller coaster for me. I had three e-book contracts and one series contract. Full Circle was finally released after the umpteenth delay…just to have the publisher close. By year end, I’d found home for two of my three Chip orphans and gained a new e-book contract. I have one story in submissions right now and I finished About to Sin by my self-imposed deadline. Woo-hoo!

So, in 2008 here are my writing goals.

1)Sign with an agent. (Pretty lofty goal, huh?)
2)Get About to Sin print published.
3)Finish Full Circle’s sequel.
4)Gain four book contracts (e-pub or print pub).

The agent search will start in February. Can I do it? I don’t know, but you’ll have to keep watching over the next year to find out. I’ll be sure to share my successes and failures on my blogs.

Today we bid farewell to...

Today we say farewell to another keyboard. Replacement Keyboard lived an especially short life and was snatched into Keyboard Heaven rather early. While here, Replacement Keyboard preformed with mediocre abilities and toward the end of its life completely forgot its multi-media functions...except for volume control.

Volume control worked especially hard and well and was always diligent with its green bars at the bottom of the screen duties. Although senile and with numerous buttons faded, Replacement Keyboard did try its best to provide hot words and a pleasing blue light.

I wish we could say that we would miss Replacement Keyboard, with its clear nail polish cosmetic surgery enhancements, but that is not the case. We shall only miss the money that will go toward Replacement Keyboard Number 2.

We will NOT miss the crappy and ill-designed Back-Up Keyboard Number 2 one little bit.

Electrons to electrons. Microchips to microchips. We do not return Replacement Keyboard back to its maker for it is no longer under warranty. Yea though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of CompUSA, I shall fear only non-multi-media keyboards for the spirit of volume control aren't with me.

Go in peace.

Ok, ok, so that was a sub-par eulogy, but the keyboard DID suck. >.< What did it last? A year or so?

Do people think? (Snarky rant)

Before I snark this article, please know that I support our troops and no amount of political posturing will make me turn my back on our men and women in uniform. Whenever I see a soldier, sailor or marine in uniform, I thank them for their service. My father and two uncles served during Vietnam. My grandfather served during WWII and my grandmother served in the WAC. At this moment, I have several friends overseas fighting this battle. I’m also proud member of the American Legion.

I support the troops—let me make that very clear and I don’t give a damn what you think about the war. I support them and they hold a special place in my heart. Whether or not I support the war is NOT the question. Our sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles and friends are over there and I will always support them. Period.

However, the people in uniform that make decisions and give sound bites make me hike an eyebrow.

Start snark now…

This_article makes me question the abilities of some people.

Quote: A transport helicopter that…was brought down by a "sophisticated piece of weaponry," the U.S. military said on Wednesday.End quote:

And all this time I thought our men and women were being hit by sticks and stones. I’ve been wondering why this war has been doing on so long. Now I understand we’re not using cruise missiles against spears.

Of course it’s sophisticated, it shot down one of our helicopters. I’ll just file this sound bite under “shit I already know.”

Quote: The military initially said mechanical failure was probably to blame.End quote:

If you really think about it all crashes are from mechanical failure. What causes the mechanics to fail is a different story.

“Bill, what made the chopper crash?”

“Well, I do believe it was mechanical failure.”

“Ya don’t think it has anything to do with this big o’le hole in the side and the three missing blades?”

“Maybe we need to call CSI?”

Quote: The high number of U.S. helicopters lost in less than a month has raised questions about whether insurgents in Iraq are using new tactics, such as studying aircraft flight patterns, or have acquired sophisticated weaponry.End quote:

Those sneaky bastards. How dare they pay attention to our tactics! Let’s file this under “shit I would have expected.”

Quote: [Chief U.S. military spokesman in Iraq, Major- General William Caldwell] was speaking during a news briefing that concentrated on U.S. claims that Iranian-manufactured weapons are being used to kill U.S. troops in Iraq, but he insisted he was "not making any inferences" about where the weaponry had come from.End quote:

The Major-General will tell us where they weapons were made, but he’s not willing to go out on a limb and link “where made” to “where from.” Perhaps he hopes that Iran outsources its weapon distribution?

Quote: The military, which relies heavily on helicopters to transport troops and equipment to avoid Iraq's dangerous roads, has said it is adjusting its tactics in the wake of the downings.End quote.

And it took 7 downed aircraft and 17 hit aircraft to reach this conclusion? I’ll file that under, “shit that should have been concluded sooner.”

Quote: But at least two of the seven helicopters downed since January 20 appeared to have been deliberately targeted.End quote:

My god, you mean that our enemy isn’t just randomly shooting their weapons? Firing them off willy-nilly? They’re actually taking aim! OMG! The scoundrels! We’re at war; of course, our helicopters will be “targeted.” I’m filing this under “shit I would have expected.”

Begin quote: "We are engaged with a thinking enemy...They understand the strategic implications of shooting down an aircraft," he said.End quote.

Wait—you mean we’re not fighting drones over there? All this time I thought we were up against robots who were acting under programming. OMG! A “thinking enemy” whatever shall we do? Quick contact George Lucas and tell him the clones won’t be needed! We need to fight thinking with thought!

Damn them! Why couldn’t they be lemmings?!

Filing this under “shit I would have expected.”

I read articles like this and I shake my head. War news shouldn’t be humorous. In a way it’s sad and it makes me worry for our troops for a whole different reason.

Meme's are Evil

Meme's we've all seen them. We've probably been tagged by them and they can suck up so much time it's not funny.

A list of 20-gazzillion questions about yourself that you don't want to share with your cat, but you'll answer them for a blog/myspace/lj post and tell 25-gazzillion strangers.

They're compelling. We half groan and half smile when we're tagged. Why? I try to make each one a bit of a joke. For example: my favorite color is actually Hunter Green. A deep rich green that fills me with a sense of earthy warmth. Looking at that green makes me feel refreshed and rejuvenated. I can imagine myself standing in the middle of the woods near a small creek watching vines claim an abandoned shed. However, on meme's I always answer clear or transparent. I think that's funny.

Some of these meme's ask about illicit drug use. Honestly, I'm clean. I'm willing to tell that to anyone. I am now and always have been clean, but why would you post something on the net that is essentially a confession to a crime?

Some of them ask about deep dark secrets. Well, if it's that much of a secret, why am I going to tell-all now?

I'm convinced that if legislation were in the form of meme's we'd get more stuff done on Capital Hill. A bill that could help millions of American's is boring and dull, but put it in meme for and presto we're compelled to participate.

Maybe voting could be handled this way too. Hmm….