I.M. Cupnjava's Writing Café

Submission Hell.

2011-07-30T02:46:00.002-05:00

I just sent a story into Submission Hell. Let's hope this round is kind to me. It's short story that I'd like to see in an anthology. I've been wanting to do something with this particular publisher for a while.

I'm always nervous when entering Submission Hell. I get the submission packet together and hover the cursor over the send button for a while, get up, walk around, hope one the cats will hit the button for me, work up my nerve, and finally hit send.

My heart is pounding in my chest and I have the shakes.

It'll be several months until I hear something back, but keep your fingers crossed for me, please.

Facebook?

2011-07-30T01:41:00.002-05:00

I'm thinking about setting up a Facebook author's page. Has anyone else done this and how has it worked out? Anyone interested in discussing sexy priests with me on Facebook? Hahaha!

2011 Update

2011-03-28T12:05:00.004-05:00

So far 2011 has been wonderfully normal.

I've taken a position as a subcontractor with a search engine. I telecommute and it allows me to pay the bills while still having time to write. Win+win=winwin.

The second edition of Full Circle is still in editing. My crazy life over the past two years has caused delays in that title. The editor and I have made some changes that will solidify some of the confusing aspects of the first edition. POV is tighter and it's nicely polished. I was proud of the title before, but there were a few rough sections that bothered me. I still need a lot of growth as a writer, but I've been given a chance to smooth out those rough patches. I can only hope and pray that the reviews for the second edition will be as good as the reviews for the first edition.

Full Circle II: Changeling is in the writing phase. So far this one is darker than the last one, but not as violent and has less gore. Not sure if it will stay that way. Essentially, more mental anguish. Less disembowelment and impaling.

Full Circle III is in the planning and storyboard phase.

Tainted Past is still under contract with Freya's Bower.

Personal Demon (priest erotica) is out. E-book edition. Kindle Edition

About to Sin (priest erotica) is still being edited and hasn't hit submission hell yet. I'm so very proud of this title and I think I'm obsessing a bit too much about every last detail. That obsession is bogging down the progression of the title. At some point, I need to be pragmatic and stamp it done even though no title is ever really done.

Thoughts on Masturbation

2011-03-13T21:16:00.002-05:00

I’ve recently gotten into a show called “Being Erica”. I’m playing catch-up via Hulu and I watched an episode the other day that got me thinking. Erica walked in on Ethan while he was masturbating and that was a problem for her. I read through the comments of other viewers and, apparently, many people feel that their partner masturbating is a problem.

I don’t get it. I don’t understand this at all.

Masturbation isn’t just for single people. For someone who is single, it might be a replacement for sex. For someone who is in a relationship, masturbation might be a way of seeking relief when their partner is unavailable or not interested, but masturbation is much more than that.

It’s not just a substitute for sex. It’s a form of self-expression. It’s a sexual outlet that can be fully self-serving. A person can “test run” fantasies or techniques before sharing them with their partner. There’s no performance pressure with masturbation. It’s also a way of reconnecting with one’s own body and one’s on tastes. If I can’t give myself an orgasm, how can I expect anyone else to?

I’m sure that in the whole history of relationships there have been moments where someone rejected their willing partner and masturbated instead of having sex. If that has happened, I suspect there are a lot more problems in that relationship than just masturbation.

Generally speaking, masturbation isn’t connected to rejection. It’s self-exploration. It’s a time to get lost in selfish desires.

I have walked in on partners who were masturbating. I stood there with a smile on my face and watched. It was hot! Very sexy. It gave me the chance to observe my partner and feel like a naughty voyeur. When I was noticed, I asked them to continue and offered to help or just provide an audience. One time it turned into a very hot moment that I will keep private.

Erica was also upset about Ethan watching porn while masturbating. I don’t understand this either.

There’s porn—a fantasy world. It’s ridiculous and campy. It can be raunchy and debauched or it can be soft and almost sweet.

There’s coupled interactions—this is real. It can play out a fantasy, but it is real people interacting in the real world. It can be everything from amazing to a clumsy comedy of errors.

They’re two different worlds and they serve very different needs. I don’t understand why someone would be upset that their partner is watching porn. I can understand if the behavior is unhealthy. If there was some kind of porn addiction or something like that. I can also understand feelings of rejection if someone is treated poorly because they lack a pornstar figure. If that is going on, then the relationship has bigger problems than someone masturbating while watching porn.

Am I unusual in thinking there’s nothing wrong with watching porn and masturbating regardless of one’s relationship status? I see nothing wrong with masturbation. If the relationship is good and if the sex life within the relationship is healthy, why would it be a problem?

It’s my body. I’m going to touch it if I want to.

OMG!

2010-05-11T23:40:00.003-05:00

I was quoted on filmsinfocus.com! Proof that you should occasionally google your penname. ^_^

The link

Scroll over until you see the cover for Personal Demon and then click on it if you want to read the quote. I'm so thrilled!

Ahh...submission hell.

2010-03-27T03:11:00.000-05:00

Well, I now have another title in submission hell. Let’s keep our fingers crossed as this particular publisher is high on my “do want” list. I have some work with Freya’s Bower (published and in editing), so I’ve decided to go for another publisher on my target list. I’m not sure if this is a good fit or not. I figure a short for an anthology is a good way to test the waters.

A stroll down my writing memory lane

2010-03-17T14:37:00.001-05:00

It has been a while since I’ve done a public post. GracieMusica posted a long lost story of hers from the third grade. It’s adorable.

Her post got me thinking. I’ve often told people that my mother has always encouraged me to become an author. I never shared why.

I didn’t start writing until I was 12. At that time I was writing short stories on an old Brother word processor. Basically, a typewriter with a brain. I wrote a short fluffy story about two girls who discover an old trunk in their attic. The trunk teleported them back in time where they met their ancestors. I hadn’t read “The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe” yet. It was kind of like Back to the Future meets Little House on the Prairie. I submitted that to a contest and didn’t win.

I then wrote a script for a TV show that I loved. I submitted it to the Paramount and got a very polite rejection letter from an assistant explaining that they couldn’t even read the script much less accept it. She wished me the best in my writing endeavors. I still have my first rejection letter. LOL!

I didn’t give up, but for some reason my stories turned a bit darker. I think I’d discovered Poe by this time. This was also the year we got an IBM computer. I did some writing on WordStar 1.0, but still preferred to use the word processor.

I wrote a story about a woman trapped in an insane asylum. She wasn’t crazy, but wanted a break from life. The people who ran the asylum were corrupt and it turned into a story of the woman figuring out a few criminally insane patients had overthrown the staff. All the patients were doctors and all the doctors were patients. She connects with a man who is “less insane” than the others and they escape. After reading that story, my mother sat down with me and told me that I should write. She still talks about a few scenes like she read it yesterday.

After that, I wrote a story that one of my teachers found. This particular teacher and I had never gotten along. I had always gotten along with my teachers even when I struggled in the class. This teacher and I butted heads, I still haven’t figured out why. I don’t know how she got her hands on the story as I never showed it to anyone except my family.

It was written in first person from the perspective of a murderous old man who owned a huge house. He rented out rooms to people and killed them based upon their habits. Whatever habit annoyed him became the means of death. One tenant was fastidiously clean. He’d remove his clothes at night, fold them, place them in a dirty clothes hamper, and then push down on the clothes. After that, he’d put on his night clothes and go to bed. The old man (never named) was really bothered by that. It bugged the crap out of him. He hid a syringe filled with poison inside the clothing so that when the guy pressed down on the clothes, he’d be injected with the poison and die.
The old man never got caught and the story was his final confession of all his crimes. He wrote it on his deathbed. I remember a few lines from it.

So much blood is upon my hands. Coated and covered like a delectable sugary treat. I wash them and it remains. I lick them and I taste it. I’d bathe in it if I could. Such a beautiful shade of red. Glistening and wet.

Sorry, I got distracted. Where was I? Oh yes, the veterinarian.

After my teacher found this, she referred me for psychological testing. She thought I was insane and disturbed. I didn’t write again for a very long time. The school psychologist determined that I was creative not insane. That teacher never accepted that answer. We moved so I could change schools. (My brother wasn’t happy in his school either, but for other reasons.) My mother made sure my permanent record reflected the psychologist’s findings so I wouldn’t be haunted by a reputation. In the seventh grade, I had a new start and I didn’t write.

Lately, I’ve been toying with rewriting “This Old House”. I don’t think I ever will, but I will be incorporating elements of it into “Recovered Flotsam”. Nothing wrong with cannibalizing your own work, right? LOL

Writing Workshop: As

2009-09-12T08:38:00.001-05:00

All writers have crutches. Editors help us see those crutches and provide us with tools to stand on our own 100k words. “As” is a common crutch and one that I have. Although I’m not as bad as some, I want to get rid of it. If you’re a writer or an aspiring writer (or a hobbyist or whatever word you use to describe yourself), I recommend you play along at home. To help you find common crutch words, use the find and replace option in your word processor. Find the word “as” (or any other word) and replace it with a highlighted version of the word.

Today, I’m going to take sample sentences and rework them to eliminate the “as”. After the first sample, I’ll be using sentences from Full Circle. I’ll be focusing on pages with more than one “as”.

Special thanks to Marci Baun for being a wonderful editor.

Sample: Stephanie’s mouth fell open as she stared at the size of his hands.

Changed: Stephanie’s mouth fell open. They’re huge. Her hands. Huge. The word huge repeated itself in her head over and over again. Before her eyes, they ballooned. Morphed into a roll of baloney with five fat sausages. What the hell was in her soda?

Original: His eyes grew wide as the crooked cross registered in his mind. Oh shit. Kendrick twisted around him as they lay in the baptismal tub. (Byron POV)

New: His eyes grew wide. The crooked cross registered in his mind. Oh shit. They lay in the baptismal tub and Kendrick twisted around him.

No as, but the short choppy sentences annoy me. It has poor flow and too much power has been given to inconsequential parts.

New: Through infantile wakefulness, the crooked cross registered in his mind. His eyes grew wide—oh shit. They lay together in the baptismal tub and Kendrick twisted around him like a child keeping a toy on lockdown.

That’s OK, but is “infantile” really a Byron word? The use of “lockdown” isn’t appropriate for the setting of the story. I added “like” in what feels like a gratuitous simile. I doubt anyone would call me out on that change, but I’m not happy with it.

New: Through the hazy fog of wakefulness, the crooked cross registered in his mind. His eyes grew wide—oh shit. They lay together in the baptismal tub and Kendrick twisted around him practically locking him in place.

Gonna use this.

Original: Dozens of ravens flocked into the room as Kendrick wept. Hour-long minutes passed, and he felt his body grow colder. His chest went hollow. A lump in his throat blocked his breath. Byron had left him—turned around and walked away as if the centuries upon centuries that they'd shared meant nothing. (Kendrick POV)

New: Kendrick wept. Dozens of ravens flocked into the room. Hour-long minutes passed, and his body grew colder. His chest went hollow. A lump in this throat blocked his breath. Byron had left him—turned around and walked away. The centuries upon centuries they’d shared, had they meant nothing?

I like this except the Yoda sentence at the end. I’ve had a penchant for Yoda sentences since my fanfiction days. The new shorter sentences are balanced with the longer ones. And, I’ve gotten rid of a “he felt” which is, in this case, a gratuitous phrase.

A half a cup of coffee later…I like this sentence. I like the flow. We’ve all been there, right? As it is, we can all relate to it. Maybe it was a doomed relationship, a cancelled project, or trying to save a historical landmark, we’ve all been there. We’ve all, at some point in our lives, had that crucial moment of realization [or moment of initial shock and doubt] that something we were passionate about meant nothing to someone else. There were three showings of as on this page. Maybe I can nix the other one and keep this one.

Original: Hissing and screeching, he arched his back as loneliness took residence inside his chest.

New: Hissing and screeching, he arched his back. Loneliness took residence inside his chest.

That’s good, but it can be stronger.

New: Hissing and screeching, he arched his back. Stark loneliness assaulted his heart.

Mmm...still not quite right.

New: Hissing and screeching, he arched his back. Stark solitude assaulted his heart.

We have a winner! And, I still have only one as on that page.

In this next section we have four incidences of as all on a single page.

Original: Kendrick’s talons gouged the wood as he prayed. (Keep)

Original: Kendrick smiled as best he could.

Original: Seth pulled off his shirt as he walked toward Kendrick.

Original: Seth was tantalizingly warmth as opposed to his corpselike cold.

(All Kendrick POV)

New: Kendrick proffered a, hopefully, believable smile.

New: Seth pulled off his shirt while walking toward Kendrick.

New: Seth removed his shirt and walked toward Kendrick.

New: Seth removed his shirt and approached Kendrick.

New: Seth removed his shirt while approaching Kendrick.

New: Seth’s tantalizing warmth contrasted with his corpselike cold.

New: Seth’s tantalizing warmth battled his corpselike cold. (Stronger, but too aggressive?)

And so on for the rest of the manuscript. This is why editing takes forever; however, it’s the only way to grow as...err...ummm...

This is why editing takes forever, but it’s the best way to hone one’s skills and to promote author growth. Awkward.

Editing can be a long and tedious process, but it’s an invaluable learning experience.

Hmm...yeah, I still have a lot to learn. Hopefully the next manuscript will contain fewer crutches.

New Fetish

2009-09-10T09:58:00.003-05:00

Here's a fetish I never saw coming. O.o

Stuck in the sticky

I'll never view a grown man chewing bubble gum with the same eyes again.

Do Something

2009-08-13T14:48:00.002-05:00

Warning: this blog post might come across as snobbish or elitist. It might enrage or offend.

Edit: This turned into a lengthy and interesting conversation on my LiveJournal.

When I learn about things like Playing for Change, I’m reminded of what art is supposed to be. Writers aren’t supposed to crank out drivel to make a buck. Visual artists shouldn’t slap just any crap on a canvas. Musicians shouldn’t belt out soulless sounds.

I think that’s why “selling out” hurts so much. Art is a gift to the world. Even if it doesn’t suit someone’s personal tastes, it’s still a present. A little treasure that should move people. It should “strike a chord” inside the audience.

By all means artists should be paid for their work. “Feel goods” and “Warm fuzzies” aren’t accepted as currency at the local grocery store. But, I watch some people work their craft and I wonder if they’re cheating themselves and their audience.
Not all art needs to move people to tears. Not all of it needs to initiate a moment of deep reflection. There’s nothing wrong with producing something for the sole purpose of entertaining. It saddens me and cheapens the art world when people produce work solely for the commercial value.

Grandpa Elliot’s voice sends waves of chills down my arms. I listen to him and there’s so much more there than just a talented voice. There’s some unknown, untouchable, unnamable special quality to him. An endearing charm hitchhikes upon his voice and reaches into my heart. If I could, I’d hug him and thank him for the gift he and Playing for Change has given the world.

Playing for Change also reminds us of the power behind art. (Perhaps the power that serves as the impetus for art?) Artists hold within their talents the ability to bring about change. We can speak for peace or war. We can hold a mirror up to the world and ask the audience, “Is this what you really want? No? Then do something about it.”

Some may say that such things are easy when one is a photojournalist covering a famine or a journalist writing a story about the victims of natural disaster. Some may say that I’m a hypocrite for writing this blog post. After all I’m just an erotica writer.

Erotica writers still wield this power. Can we not address social issues in our work? Can we not show the ugly faces of war and oppression? Can we not reveal the joy of love and the fecundity hope? Can we not do work like Coming Together With Pride and produce work for charity? Entertaining for a purpose.

Furthermore, can we do it without preaching?

We all start with the same tools: words, color, sound. Now, what are we doing with it?

Indie Book Awards, Full Circle, Personal Demon

2009-07-08T10:22:00.004-05:00

I’m approximately 2,000 words into Full Circle II: Changeling. I’ve often said that writing gets it down and editing makes it pretty, but accepting that as I’m writing is difficult. I find myself staring at sentences and thinking, “Is something really missing or do I just think something is missing; and thus, cause something to be missing?” That’s the kind of logic that sends me to coffee pot or laundry room for a little bit.

I need to remember to just write when I’m writing and edit when I’m editing. There’s a lot of truth in what Oscar Wilde said, “I was working on the proof of one of my poems all morning and took out a comma. In the afternoon, I put it back in again.”

I’m sure my pace will pick up once I’m into the meat of the story. The establishing scenes sometimes feel a bit tedious during the first go through. What do you mean I can’t just jump to this scene and then *poof* magically jump to another scene and expect the reader to follow and understand?

In other news, Personal Demon is on All Romance now with reader reviews of 4 out of 5 on overall enjoyment and 4 out of 5 for sensuality. ^_^

Coming Together: With Pride is a finalist for the 2009 Next Generation Indie Book Awards. Interestingly, not in the erotica category, but in the anthology and e-book fiction categories. Woohoo!

On a personal front, I’m totally addicted to the song “Boom Boom Ba” by Metisse.

Don’t Black or White Me

2009-06-28T11:48:00.002-05:00

This post is will not be about the controversy surrounding the last years of his life. This post will not be about his eccentric ways. This post will be about the musical genius Michael Jackson.

Specifically in regards to his Thriller, Bad, and Dangerously albums Michael Jackson, in my opinion, was a master at percussion. The use of percussion and the variety of percussion in his matured sound is phenomenal. It’s a sound that I’ve not yet heard duplicated. In Michael Jackson’s work, percussion wasn’t merely the bass line. He used it to not only set the timing of the piece, but to manipulate the timing and manipulate how the audience followed the timing.

When an artist creates, their work is not their own. I don’t mean in a “collaborative effort” sense, but in a larger sense. When an artist, musician, or writer places their work in the heart and soul of the audience, the work takes on a new life. The audience member now has the responsibility to receive, interpret, and place their own world view upon it.

Michael Jackson’s use of percussion was a direct line to the audience--an unbroken connection between artist and art. A primal heartbeat underlined, permeated, and accented his work.

Not only did he fully understand the power of sound, he understood the equally powerful flipside: silence. His use of silence is another layer of his music that is unparalleled, at least in my perspective. In order for light to be powerful it must relinquish some power to shadow. In order for color to move our hearts it must yield to “void zones”. The weight of words upon our minds is directly related to the “white space” around it. As we drown in the “wall of sound” that has seemed to infect modern music, silence has become even more powerful.

Michael Jackson masterfully created with both sound and silence.

He was also a master of the metaphor. From heavy handed to subtle, he guided us through his political pieces. He presented the facts as he saw them and left it up to us to carry message. And some of us have been carrying the message from “We Are The World” for twenty-four years.

Although I could never be accused of being a Michael Jackson fangirl, I can appreciate his genius. His death is the world’s loss.

Tweets, tweets, and more tweets.

2009-04-04T17:59:00.001-05:00

I've caved. I've given into Twitter.

One more thing for me to fail to update, huh? Maybe I can manage 140 characters.

http://twitter.com/cupnjava

Disagreeing with an Editor

2009-03-31T23:25:00.003-05:00

Rehtaek11 asked me a question that I think will make an interesting blog post.

Does the company that publishes your work ever make demands that you… change your work in a way that you don't like?

This has happened to me. There has been editorial advice that I initially thought was rooted in the deep end of the Insanity Pool.

The first time this happened to me was with the first edition of Full Circle. I held a great deal of respect for my editor there and told her that I thought she was bonkers for her suggestion, but I’d give it my best shot.

It’s been a while since Full Circle was out for public consumption, but do you guys and gals remember the scene where Byron is speaking to Pebble? Tami planted that seed of creativity. Yes, I created Pebble. Yes, I wrote the scene. But, when she told me that the scene fell flat because of all the inner dialog and reflection coming from Byron and that he needed to talk to someone or do something to make it interesting (“hell, have him talk to the bird”), the creative juices started to flow.

I went back (all the while muttering about how crazy my editor was and telling her so) and crafted Pebble. The friendly neighborhood oh-dear-God-please-let-it-just-be-a-bird-but-we-all-know-Cup-is-up-to-something-creepy Pebble. I then wrote the scenes with Pebble thinking they were going to fail miserably. (Too cryptic? Too obvious? Too batshit insane?) When I finished the scenes, I’d surprised myself. I loved those scenes. I think they really work and add another layer to the novel. And...yes...I told her so. I even let her do the “I told you so dance” and gloat about it.

When I was working on Personal Demon the editor insisted that a condom be used. I didn’t want a condom in the scene and countered. She countered. I was about to counter and realized that I really didn’t want a reputation of being a PITA author and really wanted more contracts with Freya’s Bower (Karen didn’t threaten me or anything), but most importantly, I realized that, Holy crap the lady had a point…kind of...sort of...

I went back and added the condom to the story. I still don’t like the condom being there. Karen saw the implications in the story that support the condom. I didn’t see them and felt that the condom solidifies what I never intended to be there.

So, why didn’t I put my foot down and refuse to allow a condom?

Because with editors you must pick your battles.

The presence of the condom, in my eyes, does change the story, but not to the point where I feel detached from the story. I still feel like it’s my story. I think it adds an element of premeditation that shouldn’t be there. Karen’s point is that the premeditation was always there. I can see that. I can see my point too. Bottom line: fighting over the condom just wasn’t worth it. It’s a short fun story and, generally speaking, I like condoms in erotic fiction.

Let’s go forward again with the editing for the second edition of Full Circle. The editor I’m working with at Freya’s Bower made a suggestion that I thought was a complete deal breaker. She wanted me to eliminate something from the story that I refused to do. Putting my foot down on this particular aspect was worth risking my contract being canceled. It was worth risking not getting another contract with Freya’s Bower. It was worth all feasible consequences. In my rebuttal (two typed pages explaining the importance of the item in question, reviewer feedback about the item in question, and reader feedback of the item in question) and she told me that it was fine. She still doesn’t like it and still wants it changed, but she’s willing to let me have my way with this.

We hadn’t had a dispute before that and we haven’t had one since. I respect her and she knows that. I feel that she respects me. Marci is just awesome like that.

I picked my battle here and I picked it carefully.

In these three cases we resolved the issue in a professional manner, but what happens when the editor and the writer can’t agree?

In some cases the issue is brought to the Executive Managing Editor. Basically, taken up with the editor’s boss and a decision is made and the editor and author are put back to work on the title. Sometimes a writer will be assigned another editor. In extreme cases, the contract is cancelled by the publisher or by the author.

I’m not willing to bother a boss or get accustomed to another editor over a condom. I’m willing to show deference to my editor’s experience in most cases. But every so often there’s something so critical to the story that it’s worth the risk of having to find another publishing house and editor.

Stewart and Cramer

2009-03-13T10:24:00.001-05:00

I just finished watching the full Stewart and Cramer interview on www.thedailyshow.com. Normally, I don’t recommend getting news from Jon Stewart. Yes, he’s informative. Yes, he offers a unique perspective on world events. Yes, he’s entertaining. However, he’s a comedian. He’s not news.

But! This interview is exceptional.

If I could, I’d thank Cramer for agreeing to the interview. I gained some respect for the man. I feel like he was honest with Stewart. We cannot change the past. Experts will make mistakes. It’s positively refreshing to watch someone say, “We screwed up.” (NOT a direct quote) It’s even more refreshing to watch a professional say, “It’s legal, but it’s shenanigans and should be stopped. And, furthermore, I once participated in it.” (NOT a direct quote)

Bravo Cramer. Bravo for admitting your mistakes. Bravo for admitting CNBC could have done more. Bravo for listening and not blaming “loser homeowners”. Bravo, Jon Stewart, for being so damn insightful.

What happened to our news when I feel like in-depth reporting comes from a comedian? When did fancy graphics and an interactive map replace good solid reporting? When did the news become bloated with commentary and opinion and bereft of fact and investigation?

Hey, news networks! If I want commentary and opinion, I’ll read a damn blog. If I’m tuning into the news, I want news. Yes, interview people, but don’t assume they’re being honest. If Jon Steward and Stephen Colbert can pull clips from the past showing contradictions, why can’t you? And, for crying out loud, please stop playing the freaking commentary and opinion on the screen while the real news scrolls across the bottom.

Our economy is in shambles. I don’t pretend to understand how we got here, but with three 24-hours news networks and two 24-hour financial news networks, shouldn’t someone be reporting on the dirty backroom deals on Wall Street? Shouldn’t someone shine some light on the shady-but-legal artificial means of manipulating the market? Why does it feel like the people who most believe in a free market economy are the ones who artificially control and manipulate it?

Has Wall Street abandoned ethics? Did Wall Street ever have ethics?

Crazytrain off-loading at Crazytown

2009-03-10T15:05:00.002-05:00

Hi again.

(Insert litany of excuses for not blogging)

With all the authors wigging out, tweaking out, flipping out, and flaking out in obvious and subtle ways, it makes a gal a little nervous to blog. Shit, what if I’m batshit insane too, but I don’t know it? LOL We all have our hidden crazy, right? Maybe we like the Saiyuki collector “action figures” to be a certain freaking way on our bookshelves and we’re a bit miffed because we currently don’t have the room to place them JUST SO. Or maybe we turn into Ultima "Bitch from Hell" when our working time is interrupted for stupid shit. (Are you bleeding? Is someone dying? Is something on fire? No? It’s not an emergency, fuck off.) Or maybe I’m showing a bit too much of my hidden crazy right now. LOL

If we live, work, and play on the internet long enough we will eventually type something that sounded oh-so-good at the time. A few years later and…shit…it’s still there. We hope it gets buried in the bowels of google, but it’s still THERE.

But, sometimes there is a group of people who tend to reveal their crazy a bit too often and too frequently. Authors are one of those groups of people. We start writing and all of sudden we start smoking (anyone seen my lighter…the one shaped like a coffee cup?), then we get way too many cats (the four in this house are fine btw and the crapload outside seem to be fine too.), then we start drinking (OMG Blue, the mandarin vodka was awesome!), then comes absinthe, then drugs, and finally we off ourselves.

Did I REALLY thoroughly think about this career path?

Speaking of career paths, while I was off working and dealing with life, I missed a pretty important announcement. Metaldog/Irondog (anyone know what penname she’s using for her work? I forgot to ask on the phone last night) has TWO contracts with TQ! How awesome is that? Good job, MD! We’re all cheering for you, dear. (Hope you thought about this career path.)

But, I thought I’d check in with everyone and let ya’ll know that I still have the same level of crazy that I’ve always had. So far, I’ve not experienced any alien abductions or revelations from God. My spiritual life is what it has always been: sometimes I go to Mass, sometimes I go to church, sometimes I go to drum circle, and sometimes I look at the wall and think I should be doing something else (playing a lvl 80 holy spec priest does not get one closer to God BTW). The dog next door, Sam, isn’t talking to me. There’s no grape Kool-Aid in the house and no one is getting castrated. Furthermore, I have no intention of walking away from my keyboard or genre. I’m just much, much slower than before due to this nerve problem that will, probably, never go away.

Personal Demon released TODAY!

2008-11-18T18:41:00.002-05:00

Freya's Bower has released Personal Demon!

I'm so excited!

Temptation in an alb…

Those of the most devout faith face private struggles. When the man inside the priest fights carnal desires, the priest can only pray he has the inner fortitude to resist. Eve succumbed to the serpent. Adam succumbed to the apple. Now, Father Blake Krey stands in a private Garden of Eden, tempted by his own Personal Demon.

Genre: M/M Contemporary

Attention fellow priest fetishists!

2008-11-15T14:22:00.003-05:00

I have an author’s page at Freya’s Bower! I’ve submitted a bio, but it’s not posted yet.

And what’s this? A RELEASE DATE?!?

Woohoo!

When I woke up this morning, I KNEW it was going to be a great day! I love these types of surprises in my inbox.

Oh, sorry...I should be doing this all professionally and stuff.

*a-hem*
*straightens collar*
*fluffs hair*

Coming November 18th, 2008 from Freya’s Bower: Personal Demon by I.M. Cupnjava

Blurb:

Temptation in an alb…

Those of the most devout faith face private struggles. When the man inside the priest fights carnal desires, the priest can only pray he has the inner fortitude to resist. Eve succumbed to the serpent. Adam succumbed to the apple. Now, Father Blake Krey stands in a private Garden of Eden tempted by his own Personal Demon.

One excerpt is available on the website, but there’s another one I’m posting right here.

Excerpt:

The water rained down and plastered his shaggy blond hair to his face. Lingering hair paste entered his mouth, putting a bitter tinge upon his tongue. He looked up and asked the water to cleanse him. He hoped its purity might find a way into his soul.

He begged.
He pleaded.
He prayed.
He failed.

Succumbing to the lust, he grabbed his cock like a grudge. Unable to face his Lord, he fell forward and braced himself with one hand, genuflecting out of weakness and shame while abusing himself, molesting himself, and living in the filth of lust.

His personal demon slithered about his neck, took hold of him, and jerked him upright. Water splashed against his chest as his fingers curled the rondure of his scrotum. He knew the furtive beast watched him while it waited to strike. The snake offered the apple. Powerless to resist, he snatched it.

His thighs shuddered. His stomach quivered. Pressure spiked inside of him and streaked from his flesh grudge. He thrust himself forward and crashed against the floor as sin and an orgasm devoured him. His seed mingled with the swirling water and flowed into the bottomless darkness of the drain.

The serpent slithered away, leaving shame in its tracks as he, twitching and tingling, lay impuissant on the floor of the shower. He tried to gather his senses, but his mind remained distant. He tried to control his limbs, but his arms and legs defied him.

The water didn’t wash away any of the sin. The perfidy of his actions crushed him against the floor. He lay there until it ran cold and his muscles trembled from chill and the need for repentance. Bearing upon the walls for support, he pulled himself to his feet. Soap and shampoo lent themselves to free his skin of lingering filth.

If he couldn’t be clean, he could at least look clean.

He dried himself while staring at the mirror. Each blink, admonishment. Each swipe of the towel, condemnation. Would he ever be freed of this?

He dressed and found his collar on the floor. As he exited the rectory, he hoped he would find the strength to face his flock.

End excerpt.

Oh yes, it’s like that. It’s one very kinky story with some elements of S&M, candle play, and all sorts of other goodies. If you get the chance to read it, I hope you enjoy it.

Who let this dust settle?!

2008-11-14T18:47:00.003-05:00

*dusts off blogspot*

Man, I’ve been neglecting this thing. First let me apologize for my long leave of absence. This past year has been full of ups and downs.

When Chippewa closed, orphaning my titles, I took that badly. Here, I had my dream. I had the publishing contract in hand. I had an editor who I adored. I had a title released and it was performing very well. I still haven’t seen any royalties from those sales and I probably never will. I weathered a divorce, health issues, and personal problems/drama.

Depression is a lurking opportunistic predator and I will admit that I’ve been fighting with it. Everyday things such as checking my LJ, other author boards, myspace and many others lost their appeal. I started titles and couldn’t get the gumption to continue them. It seemed the harder I reached down inside of myself to self-motivate, the further that motivation slipped from my grasp. The stories still ran through my head, but I couldn’t manage to get my fingers moving. It’s hard to market my work when I don’t have any work to market. I made excuses, grew soft on myself, and fell into that glorious time-sucker World of Warcrack...I mean...Warcraft.

During this lull in my writing career, I took some time to do some personal soul searching. Yes, I conducted some heavy research for About to Sin, but I found myself facing deeper questions about myself. I walked a few labyrinths, mediated, prayed, drummed, danced under the moonlight, and danced with fire. I received the most powerful compliment of my life from an elderly Roman Catholic priest. He said, “Never have I met someone who so tenaciously seeks deeper meaning in all that we do in life.” Then, he told me he loved me and reached up from his wheelchair and hugged me. I read a quote posted inside the library of a convent, “How glorious a gift to know who we are when we aren’t being who others need us to be.” I was told by a young Old Catholic priest, “Your writing is your ministry.”

How very humbling.

Each one of those adjusted my life’s focal point and further reminded me that I am who I am. I’ll never be anything more or anything less than that. I am, deep down inside, an author.

The feel of a keyboard beneath my fingers, the clack of the keys, the banging of my head against a wall trying to understand editorial direction, and the thrill of submission hell are what makes my heart pound and my eyes twinkle.

Puffmonkey came home from a convention where she purchased some very hot posters of Hakkai, Youkai Hakkai, and Gojyo from a gloriously talented artist, Kaysha Siemens. Her Deviant Art page. She’d heard of me and that blew me away.

With the support of my friends and family (albeit stressed support at times), I once again picked love over money.

While fighting the tail end of this depression, Freya’s Bower and Alessia Brio (with Phaze) stepped in and accepted my orphaned titles as well as a new title. That helped a little. It made me feel as if I could once again have my dream and I promptly killed another keyboard.

It felt wonderful to have edits again. The vibe of life that surrounds me when I finish a round of edits is a drug. A very addictive drug. Second only to the almost overwhelming hum of energy and life that comes with finishing the writing phase of a novel. A moment of seemingly perfect clarity that makes me feel as if the world is once again a beautiful place.

Today, I saw the cover for Personal Demon. I read through the ARC (advanced reader copy). It’s a small title…too small for an ISBN. But, it’s something. It’s something that will be out there with my name on it. When I get a release date and the stamp of approval on the blurb and excerpt, I’ll post it. I went by Barnes and Noble and checked on “Coming Together: With Pride” and they’ve sold out of their copies including the ones in the warehouse and are waiting on the publisher/distributor for more. That’s something too.

Also today, I opened my LiveJournal and looked at my f-list. Not everyone on my f-list has read my work, but many of you have. You willingly gave my stories some of your free time. You’ve encouraged me. You’ve cried with me and cheered with me. And remembering all of that has been a most humbling and healing moment.

There’s a light rain today. Fall leaves dot my yard. Rascal is curled up on his pillow by the window, sleeping quite soundly. I am an author...

...and I’m back.

Update on writing.

2008-08-30T15:54:00.001-05:00

My very talented editor with Freya’s Bower resigned due to health concerns. Please join me in keeping her in your thoughts/prayers/etc. She’s still going to be writing, but editing is terribly difficult and time consuming work. For the sake of her privacy, I will not mention her name.

My titles with FB were put back into the editing pool. Personal Demon has swum to the side of the pool and his being edited by Marci Baun. I’ve not worked with Marci before, but so far things seem to be going very well.

Personal Demon was going to be included in an anthology title, but that was going to be edited by the editor that resigned. Freya’s Bower is doing something interesting with the titles that were going to be in the anthology. They’re doing a series of micro-books. So Personal Demon will be titled Inherently Sexual: Personal Demon. All the titles will have similar covers with the text changed. How neat is that? Oh and did I mention at all of the stories in this story will be homoerotic stories?

Since these will be short, they’ll be cheap and they won’t have ISBNs. That probably means you’ll only be able to get it on the Freya’s Bower’s website. I’ll verify that bit of information as we get closer to release. Since all of these stories aren’t on the shoulders of one editor, we’ll, hopefully, have a quicker release date.

Tainted Past and Full Circle (re-release) are still in the editing pool. About to Sin remains in self-editing phase. Full Circle: Changling is in the conception stage.

Oh, and I have a non-fiction book rec to share. Napoleon’s Privates. 2,500 Years of History Unzipped is an absolute riot and utterly fascinating. If you like quirky non-fiction, you’ll love this book.

Update about my arm.

2008-06-05T09:29:00.001-05:00

First of all, thank you all for the kudos and cheers about Coming Together With Pride. I’m very proud to be a part of that anthology and I hope that those of you who do get to read it will enjoy it.

My myspace and blogspot readers are bit out of the loop on this. I’m on very limited computer use due to what we suspect is a nerve disorder in my right arm. I’ve lost some muscle control, strength and dexterity. My pinky and most of my ring finger are “pins and needles” as well as parts of my hand. That’s why I’ve stopped participating in some of the groups and forums I belong to and why I’ve stopped replying to individual comments. Now that everyone is up to speed, on with the update…

I mentioned I’d update about my arm and the verdict is that we still don’t know. That’s part of the reason I’ve not said anything. I’ve not been able to get to the specialist because Folgers has been unable to get a day off. No joke. Yep, it’s one of THOSE kinds of jobs. (Catch-up moment for Myspace and Blogspot readers: Folgers has offered to cover the treatment costs of my no-insurance-having-self for this which is why I can’t take myself to the specialist. There’s a special place in heaven for altruistic people like that.)

My symptoms are worse. I’m now getting a red streak going up my hand and arm. I work until the streak is about halfway up my forearm or I can’t take the symptoms; and then, I have to take a break. Some days that’s several hours and some days that’s hardly any time at all. My editor is being very patient with me. Warm weather and driving seem to aggravate it more than being at the computer. Riding in a car, for no logical, bothers me more than sitting at my desk, but I’ve changed the set-up of my desk since this started.

Push-ups really bother me, but I’m not letting all the work I’ve put into weight loss go to waste. If I take my walk, I can’t do much for several hours. I’m having extreme difficulty in crossing my ring and pinky fingers and I know I’ve lost a lot of dexterity when it comes to typing. On some days I have no pain. Some days I have a bad ache in my elbow and this odd tingly dull ache in my hand. Ice and heat therapy are not helping. Motrin and Alieve are not helping other than sometimes easing the ache. An elbow brace makes it much worse and I’ve stopped wearing one so that I can get some work done.

Folgers has been in phone contact with the doctor discussing my symptoms and the doc is beginning to lean away from Cubital Tunnel Syndrome, but needs to see me to be sure. I’ve stopped speculating at this point and I’m just adjusting things as I can to get done what I need to get done. I just seem to be getting things done very, very slowly.

Now Available! Coming Together: With Pride

2008-06-02T13:01:00.000-05:00

Now available!

Notice that wasn’t a coming soon?

Drum roll please…

(yep, milking this for all it’s worth)

Coming Together: With Pride is now available in print and e-book formats! This anthology, edited by Alessia Brio and published by Phaze, brings together some of today’s best erotica writers in an altruistic venture to support HIV/AIDS research.

Oh, and did I mention I donated a story for the cause? My story is “Selling Foxx” a snarky contemporary comedy. Enjoy! And, don’t forget your napkins. (That will make sense after you read the story.)

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that’s a print credit for me and a warm-fuzzy feeling that only comes with charitable work.

(P.S. I’ll update about my arm later. For now, let’s celebrate something good!)

P.P.S For those of you reading this on my blogspot or my myspace, I’ve developed some kind of nerve problem in my right arm. It’s messing with my muscle control and dexterity. We don’t know how serious it is and I’m working with doctors to sort it out.

The Beauty of a Small Town

2008-04-29T22:10:00.001-05:00

Puffmonkey and I headed down to the emergency shelter today. We couldn’t reach anyone on the phone and decided to just drive there halfway expecting to be turned around and halfway expecting to be put to work.

If what we’re being told is correct, this was the worst tornado to hit our state in recorded history. 120 buildings were destroyed. Many of those were homes. We arrived at the shelter around noon and there seemed to be a serious lack of victims.

Don’t mistake my intentions. I’m glad there weren’t that many people, but after hurricanes and recent natural disasters we expected long lines of people in need. On one end of the cafeteria there were twelve large tables piled high with donations with more donations stowed underneath. On the other end there were six tables loaded with food. There had to be twenty feet of palates of water. Unilever (Lipton) showed up with cases of soap, shampoo and deodorants. Starbucks showed up with a donation of coffee. Outback Steak House showed up with grills and hot plates and fed us Caesar salad, BBQ chicken and wonderful steaks. Churches showed up in organized groups. One set of chaplains had a tent, water, and grills set up outside. Private citizens and churches showed up with all sorts of household items from toys to feminine hygiene products. Volunteers and donations exceeded the needs of the community.

This excess of generosity was not due to over-blown reporting of tragedy. It was due to an underestimation of human compassion. Suffolk, Virginia is the largest town, in miles, in Hampton Roads (and I think the state), but it is the smallest in population in Hampton Roads (not the state). If a family lost their home another family took them in. Churches have rosters of people offering displaced families homes. Navy wives stepped up to help Navy families. Army wives stepped up to help Army families. If my information is correct, there are more offers of housing than there are displaced families.

One family, an immigrant family, lost everything in six minutes yesterday. They lost their nail salon and their home. At least two members of the family were injured. They had a tiny infant and volunteers doted on them. I washed bottles and helped gather water for formula.

At nine o’clock this morning, the shelter had people, but no donations. Some of the volunteers ran to stores and purchased items. Some others made phone calls. By noon the shelter was overrun with donations.

Puffmonkey and I stood in people’s faces until they gave us tasks to do. When that didn’t work, we took initiative and found things to do. Victims who had shelter but lacked food, personal hygiene items, and clothing filtered in during the day. She and I would talk to them and prompt them to take what they needed. We could usually tell who was a volunteer and who was a victim. Victims looked dazed and confused whereas the volunteers looked tired, slightly bored, and ready to help some more. I wasn’t sure which overwhelmed the victims more…the disaster or the outpouring of support. One gentleman stood amongst the donations and seemed utterly confused. I asked him, “How hard were you hit, hon?”

I kept him talking as I handed him comfort kits provided by the Red Cross. I found out about his family as I gathered toys for his kids. Many of the victims didn’t seem to realize they needed items until we asked them if they had shampoo. These items are things that are usually kept in the home. One doesn’t realize they’re missing soap until they reach for what isn’t there. Puff and I loaded people up with things that they needed while pointing out food, cots, and showers.

The family with the infant had bags of things for the little one. No one donated formula and some volunteers went to the store and bought them formula. We waited on them like they were royalty. No one is limping to a trash can on my watch!

This outpouring of compassion should not be taken as an excuse to not donate time, items or money during a disaster. Suffolk was lucky in its unluckiness. Other towns and other disasters are not so lucky. I lived through Hurricane Isabel and had to help people out of their homes because organized relief efforts couldn’t reach them. I’ve had to stand in the piercing rain and 75 mph winds and clear a road with a hacksaw because organized efforts couldn’t get there. My family and I had to take it upon ourselves to find people water and organize food prep and distribution because others were too shocked to do it.

Before Puff and I headed out for home we spoke with the other volunteers. We were willing to stay overnight at the shelter and help, but we weren’t needed. People from the Red Cross, Social Services, Churches, the school and even the Department of Corrections all had representatives there. All of them were shocked to find out Puff and I were two random strangers who came into help. One lady said, “Oh? You two are real volunteers and I think you did more work than anyone else.”

Puff said, “Everyone has a job to do and we found ours.”

I think that sums up disasters quite nicely. Everyone does have a job to do. Find yours.

Tornados

2008-04-28T22:38:00.000-05:00

By now many of you have heard about the storms near me. I’m fine. My family is fine. Our property is fine. My friends are all fine. Folgers is fine. The worst of the damage is terribly close to me and affects my life in so much that roads are closed and shopping has been destroyed. That’s nothing compared to what some people are dealing with.

Let’s all take a moment and say a prayer, send positive thoughts, or do whatever your faith encourages you to do for the 200 (approximately) injured people and all of the families who have been left homeless in the wake of these tornados.

I’m trying to reach the Red Cross to find out if they need volunteers at the emergency shelter. So far, I’ve been told to contact a man in the gymnasium...no number, mind you. JUST the last name of the man in "the gymnasium" and he can tell me if volunteers are needed. Living in a small town is an adjustment.

File this under awesome!

2008-04-10T12:20:00.002-05:00

Here's my interview in the Gay and Lesbian Times. Tim Parks was a wonderful interviewer.

Not dead yet!

2008-04-10T12:15:00.001-05:00

Whoa…yeah…I’m not dead, yet. LOL!

Life is a funny thing, ya know. You settled down in a routine and think you can coast a while with everything being status quo. Then, something happens and tosses everything in a tizzy.

As many of you know, I’ve separated from my husband. Needless to say, that involved a move. A friend of mine, recently single, and another friend of mine, also recently single, decided we’d all make great roommates. Father Bryan moved at the same time I moved and we helped each other move. He’s living in a place that better fits his personality, but isn’t too far for visits. Thus began the “move that never ends”.

Once I get into a routine and something breaks it, it’s very difficult for me to get back into a routine. When another author pointed out that I hadn’t updated jack-squat since mid-Feb, I realized I REALLY needed to make a better effort at getting back into my routine. I apologize for causing worry in those who have contacted me to make sure I was still breathing.

I’ve been busy. (When have I not said that?) Between the separation, the move that never ends, working (not as hard as I should) on edits, Rascal going through his whole “I want the world to know I hate moving” phase, and making time in my life for Folgers…I’ve been MIA on my blogs. (Folgers: The best part of waking up is Folgers in your Cup. You fill in the blanks.)

This, ladies and gentlemen, is an example of poor writing discipline and, let me cut myself a little slack here, an example of when life explodes all over the place. I now live in a very rural area where the cows and alpacas outnumber the people. It’s taken a bit to adjust to rural life, but I’m enjoying it thus far.

Oh, and did I mention a hacker attack of a very personal nature, my desk falling apart during the move (I’m currently working on half the space I’m accustomed to with it propped up by boxes), a death threat, and trying to switch from night shift to day shift. Yeah…life has been like that. LOL!

Story Updates:

About to Sin: I’ve heard back from one beta. There are a few minor corrections suggested by him and then it’s back to waiting on the other betas. I’ll wait another week and drop a line asking if they’ve forgotten about me. If I don’t hear back from them shortly, I’ll have to face agents and publishers without full beta attention.

Personal Demon: In the hands of my editor. The artwork is in and we’re hoping for the anthology to be released mid to late 2008.

Full Circle: In the hands of my editor being brought into Freya’s Bower’s house style. We’re hoping for re-release later this year.

Tainted Past: Currently undergoing plot edits and in my hands. I’m going to say we’re hoping for release later this year, but my gut tells me early next year.

Selling Foxx: Currently in the hands of my editor and we’re expecting that anthology to be out in the next few months. The last date I heard was July, but I don’t know how solid that was. So, when Coming Together with Pride is released, I’ll let you know. That will be both an e-book and a paper book. You’ll be able to get the ebook a couple of months before the paper book will be on Amazon.

Next WIP: Other than About to Sin, I’ll be giving a bulk of my attention to my comedy sci-fi story. I have a lot of dark titles coming out and I don’t want readers to think I only write dark fiction. I want a snarky comedy in there so that my author brand doesn’t get pigeonholed.

Frankly, I’m doing quite well and emotionally I feel as if I’m in a better place than I have been in a long time. I’m just having difficulty getting my act together after this latest life interruption. I’m feeling the itch to write when I’m unable to get to a keyboard or too tired to see straight. All in all, life has been good the past few months and I hope the same holds true for all of you.

About to Sin—Update

2008-02-11T11:48:00.000-05:00

Well, after hours upon hours of typing, editing, and plot planning, About to Sin is finally in the hands of Beta readers. I missed my self-imposed deadline by a little bit, but given all that’s going on in my personal life, I’m not beating myself up for it.

By the time I finished the self-editing, About to Sin capped out at 111,900 words. There is room for one more sex scene, but I’m trying to figure out if it’s needed. I don’t want gratuitous sex in my stories. Also, given the hefty word count, I don’t want to further limit available markets.

I’m trying to figure out what to tackle next. I don’t want to work on the sequel to Full Circle until the Freya’s Bower editing has been finished. Recovered Flotsam and my still untitled sci-fi story are both calling my name. And my “g” key on my keyboard is acting up again. >.<

I think I have it fixed again…maybe.

Is this the point in my career where I’ll look back and laugh later? I sure hope so. LOL!

Anyways, back to topic. The group of beta readers I have for About to Sin are awesome! I have three and each one brings something special to the table. The first beta reader is a professional editor who is currently on hiatus in the publishing world. I trust her and value her opinion. The second beta reader is a priest who is helping me with all things catholic and priestly. The third beta reader is helping me sprinkle in a bit of culture and this became necessary due to an element of Anand’s back story.

Although Full Circle still holds the crown for “Title that Needed the Most Research”, About to Sin required a surprising amount of research. Yes, all of the Catholic stuff needed to be researched and thanks to the Vatican providing a wealth of information to Joe Schmoe Person, some of it wasn’t difficult. Also, thanks to tourists of the world, sniffing out location details wasn’t too difficult either. At one point, I took a virtual tour of several churches. Visiting the National Basilica in Washington D.C. helped and I wish I would have visited that place before I wrote the confessional scene. I probably would have used one of those booths instead of the one I used. Surprisingly, my time in Guatemala also helped me write this title. Inactive priests who faced what Daniel faced shared their painful stories with me while many active priests didn’t want to acknowledge my presence. Thankfully, I met one active priest who helped introduce me to other active priests who were willing to talk to me off the record. Take a moment and think about me sitting in a room SURROUNDED by priests in clerics. I think about it a lot…I also lived it. LOL! So, with all of this being so easy, what was difficult?

1)The medical stuff…guh! Thank you Dr. Gata for helping me!
2)How DO those collars work? No…really… Thank you Fr. B, Fr. M, Fr. J, Fr. J and others for helping me!
3)In what order do those robes go on? No…really… Thank you Fr. B, Fr. M, Fr. J, Fr. J and others for helping me!
4)Oh…”legislation” isn’t the correct word here? “Say” is the correct word here? This is an outdated Mass? Wait…there’s such a thing as major and minor seminary? Oh, so that’s when they start wearing the collars. So THAT seminary would produce a Daniel? And many others. Thank you Fr. B for your countless hours and bottomless patience.

Writer thy name is researcher.

After the beta’s get it back to me, I’ll tweak it some more and then hit submission hell with this title.

YouTube! shakes fist

2008-02-05T00:29:00.000-05:00

Another thing to add to my banned from list…YouTube.

WTF? O.o

I’ve not added new content in I can’t tell you how long. I’ve endured a relentless attack for…going on two years(?)…from a hate group that doesn’t like “teh gay” and now YouTube has suspended my account with NO REASON given.

I’ve contacted them, but I think it’s really fucked up that my AMV’s are posted by other people and are still up there. I also think it’s fucked up that me—BEING A COPYRIGHT HOLDER—was banned from YouTube.

My vids on YouTube:

1) a few AMV’s…nothing obscene and nothing that wasn’t posted elsewhere.
2) My book trailer (which is horribly out of date now).
3) Two vids talking about writing that included screen shots of the covers of a few reference books. (Referencing something is under “fair use” so no violations there.)
4) One joke vid in response to another joke vid about a fake dating service.

Umm…yeah…SO violated terms of service.

When I reported the hate group coming after me, YouTube did NOTHING. Let me tell you these guys were ruthless and unending. I had so many hate comments coming at me that I had to put all msgs from YouTube in my spam folder. And they did NOTHING about it. That group harassed another user so bad she shut down her own account and then they moved on to me.

If they want to say I violated copyright with the AMV’s, then WHY are my AMV’s posted by other users STILL on YouTube? Why are there ANY AMV’s on YouTube at all?

If they want to say my content was obscene, I want to know what video contained the obscenity. I can point to plenty of videos with people doing more risqué things than what was in any of my videos. But, I did at one point show the cover of “The Joy of Gay Sex.”

If they want to pull "copyright violation" on the book trailer…I’m gonna LAUGH!

Let’s see here…they didn’t do anything when a hate group came after me and hit me with all sorts of sexual orientation slurs. And they banned me…someone who did have gay content up.

I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but this sounds really fucking fishy to me. I’ve e-mailed them and asked them why my account was banned. We’ll see how this turns out. Again, let me stress is SOUNDS fishy and that’s a far cry from saying it is fishy. All I know at this point is while neglecting my YouTube account, I managed to violate terms of service. Yep, I did it by not up loading anything, by not changing any content and by not making my channel page all fancy. Now, it's time to laugh. I utterly failed to act and managed to get kicked off YouTube. Such talent.

Anyone know a video hosting site not run by fucktards?

In Loving Memory of Abo

2008-01-19T19:26:00.001-05:00

Note: I edited the picture incorrectly. Blame it on 30+hours without sleep. It should be 1992-2008.

Abo, my eldest son, came to be born in the living room of a friend of mine in high school. Due to his rambunctious nature, we named him after the monkey in the movie Aladdin. His littermate, Rajah, an orange and white striped tabby, was named after the tiger.

Abo earned many nicknames through out his life. Most of us lovingly called him "Boo", but "Booers", "Old Man Boo" and even "Boodini" (due to his escape artist abilities) were often used as terms of endearment.

Abo was born in December of 1992 and became a permanent fixture of my family on Valentines Day 1993.. I held him and fell in love with him before his eyes were open. I also fell in love with Rajah at that time and we lost Rajah a few years ago. I helped wean both of them from their mother. In his early years, Abo was a playful sort and always wanted attention. Attention we felt thankful to give him. Attention that I wish I could give him now.

When Rajah broke his leg and had to spend some time confined in a box, Abo seemed to take twisted pleasure in trying to get his younger brother to play. Rajah played back as best he could and eventually fully recovered from the injury. For over a decade those two were inseparable until Rajah succumbed to colon cancer.

As Abo aged, he mellowed and earned yet another nickname, "Stoner Cat", due to his laid back and "anything is fine as long as there's food" attitude. He also developed a serious desire to lick earlobes and hug necks. He could purr me awake and loved to snuggle at night.

In his twilight years, Abo became very ill and fought diabetes for several years. He became wobbly on his legs and soldiered through several seizures and vet visits while we tried to stabilize his blood sugar. At one point, we stabilized it and I looked forward to many more years with my baby. He did real well with his insulin shots. He came when he was called and even learned the sounds of his shots being prepared and came into the kitchen like a wonderful patient.

Although age was not kind to Abo, Abo was kind to everyone. When we introduced other cats into the household and even a dog, Abo was always willing to show friendship toward the new family members.

Today, we had to make a humane choice. We had to weigh Abo's declining quality of life with our desires to continue to love him. It was not an easy choice, but I know he's now in a place where the tuna never stops coming and insulin needles are no where to be found.

He died peacefully tonight with his head in the palm of my hand while I whispered that I loved him the best that I could. I wish that we all could experience such a wonderful passing.

And the good news keeps coming.

2008-01-05T01:03:00.000-05:00

I received word tonight that Selling Foxx will be including in Coming Together: With Pride anthology!

This will be both print and ebook and the money will go to an HIV/AIDS charity. I don’t know if other authors have made announcements yet, so I won’t mention who else will be there. However, this anthology is going to kick ass!

*happy dance*

Religious Erotica

2008-01-04T00:09:00.000-05:00

I think this is quite fitting. If you Google “gay priest erotica” (no quotes) then my blogger is the first one up. That’s so cool! Once I get About to Sin published (and it will be published), I hope to introduce more people to the beautiful genre of religious erotica. And, not that trashy crap with priests who shouldn’t be priests, but, good priests who are really torn between being men and being priests.

Recently, I’ve taken a bit of gruff for writing gay priest erotica. I don’t think what I write is sacrilegious and I think it shows a healthy respect for the faith. I know some people won’t be able to understand that. For some people religious erotica, by its nature, is blasphemy. I hope those people find stories that they like and enjoy.

For the rest of us, let’s exchange some fic recs, shall we? Gay priest erotica is a niche genre of a niche genre so there isn’t much out there. Anyone have any recs they’d like to share?

My research for this story has taken me to some very interesting places and involved some fascinating conversations. I’ve spoken to several active and inactive priests as well as Roman and non-Roman Catholic priests. Ironically, those priests have not given me any gruff for writing what I write. One told me he couldn’t read my work because he feared it would be too much like his life. Another priest read the rough draft of my story and has offered some wonderful input. I never thought that writing gay priest erotica would help me gain a deeper respect for priests, but it has. Writing religious erotica has also helped me deepen my respect for faith in general. There’s something very special about someone who truly feels their faith…and that something is rather sexy.

As a side note: if you include the quotes in the google search, my LJ is the first hit and my website is the second and last hit. This ROCKS!

File this under: AWESOME!

2008-01-03T19:03:00.000-05:00

Tim Parks with Gay and Lesbian Times interviewed me! The interview will be published early this month. He's doing a story on female authors of gay erotica.

How cool is that?

Shh...listen...that's the sound of our genre getting a bit more attention. Hopefully the big publishing houses are listening.

Why...oh nevermind why...(And 2008 writing goals)

2008-01-02T23:15:00.000-05:00

And it’s 2008!

I had a wonderful holiday and a fabulous New Year; I hope everyone else did too!

Every so often when I’m reading stuff on the net, I wonder, “Where do these authors get this from?” We’ve all seen major grammatical infractions and I’m sure we’ve all wondered, “Why?”

When I’m reading a print book and the author shoves a conversation between two characters in one paragraph, I no longer wonder why.

A print book.

Yes, print.

I think I’ll carry this book with me and use it to slap anyone who regards e-books as being lesser publishing than print books.

Anyway…

So, 2007 was a bit of a publishing roller coaster for me. I had three e-book contracts and one series contract. Full Circle was finally released after the umpteenth delay…just to have the publisher close. By year end, I’d found home for two of my three Chip orphans and gained a new e-book contract. I have one story in submissions right now and I finished About to Sin by my self-imposed deadline. Woo-hoo!

So, in 2008 here are my writing goals.

1)Sign with an agent. (Pretty lofty goal, huh?)
2)Get About to Sin print published.
3)Finish Full Circle’s sequel.
4)Gain four book contracts (e-pub or print pub).

The agent search will start in February. Can I do it? I don’t know, but you’ll have to keep watching over the next year to find out. I’ll be sure to share my successes and failures on my blogs.

Priorities

2007-12-11T14:19:00.000-05:00

Every so often a writer needs to take a look at their work and set priorities. That’s what this post is about.

Published work:

“By Invitation Only” published by Oysters and Chocolate
A short story about a woman at an S&M party with something to prove to herself.

Contracted work:

“Personal Demon” under contract with Freya’s Bower.
One man’s struggle with lust and faith.

“Tainted Past” under contract with Freya’s Bower.
A young man with no sense of history seeks to discover his identity through the love and affection of two lovers. What makes a man? A catalog of memories or life as it happens?

“Full Circle” under contract with Freya’s Bower.
In a war-torn world a group of vampires fight internal and external foes.

Work in submissions:

“Selling Foxx”
Matthew Fox learns the ropes of working at a host club. A series of mistakes makes him wonder if his first customer will be his last.

A-list WIPs:

“About to Sin” currently at 103k words
An out and proud ER doctor meets up with a closeted Roman Catholic priest and they have to fight their pasts to discover their futures.

“Broken Soul” currently at 6k words
A beaten-by-life street kid finds value within himself through the faith and affection of a snarky, cynical and irreverent priest.

B-list WIP’s:

“Finding Mr. Right-ish” currently in handwritten notes
A comedy piece about two roommates. One spends his life trying to find the perfect lover. The other wonders why he’s in love with someone who is oblivious.

“Sci-fi story” 4,300 words
A screw-up crew of a cargo carrier has to battle the Karne while delivering goods to a war zone.

C-list WIPs

“Purposed Chaos” currently at 116k words
It has been said that when two souls are destined for each other they will cry out until they are heard and answered. These cries, pleas and yearnings will shatter the boundaries of time and space. This need for each other will also destroy what blocks it.

When the discipline of purpose mingles with the chance of chaos, the universe is thrust into a paradox. A paradox of purposed chaos.

These are the stories of two such souls and their trysts within Purposed Chaos. . .

“Nyx’s Knights” currently at 28k words.

Malevolent and benevolent forces battle for control over a recovering world. One side has Nyx and his assassins. The glorified errand boys working for Nyx fight powerful foes, but their greatest enemy is themselves.

“Recovered Flotsam” currently at 16k words.

A young man blossoming into his sexuality is trapped on a boat with a sadistic serial killer. When he finally escapes, the love he’s been longing for might be with the man providing CPR if only he could exorcize the ghosts of his past long enough to enjoy his new freedom.

D-list WIP’s

No point in listing them at this time.

Awesome news!

2007-12-04T02:15:00.000-05:00

I just signed two contracts with Freya's Bower. One for Tainted Past and one for Full Circle! ^_^ Woo-hoo!

Since I'm working with a different editor and a different publishing house, Full Circle will be edited again before being released. There shouldn't be any substantial story changes. This also means I can give the sequel some attention and have confidence in it.

Bartender! A round for the house!

General Update

2007-11-28T15:03:00.000-05:00

I suppose I should handle a personal update first. I’m getting a few e-mails from concerned friends about rumors going around myspace. I appreciate you keeping me informed about the rumor mill. It’s nice to know that people are looking out for me. Please, allow me to address those rumors. Yes, my husband and I are splitting. Also, please, grant me the privacy to keep private issues private. I refuse to get involved in an internet mudslinging party.

I’ve been insanely busy with everything, but I’m doing well.

Now, on to writing updates! .

“Personal Demon” has been accepted by Freya’s Bower and will be included in an m/m anthology book! Woo-hoo!! I’m working with an editor I respect and trust, Karen Frontain. Freya’s Bower is a publisher I’ve wanted to work with for a while. I expect this experience to be wonderful!

As many of you know, Chip/LAP has closed. Erotic Dreams publishing has closed also. I’m sniffing out a lead as to what to do with “Full Circle”. The word is that Forbidden Publications is interested in considering Chip/LAP orphans and they handle m/m stories. I’ve contacted them for confirmation and hopefully, I’ll have a submission package for them shortly. I’m also chasing leads for “Tainted Past” and “Selling Foxx”. Those are a bit tricky as there can be no formal announcements as to their fate or any official decisions prior to the rights reverting back to me. Chip/LAP’s rights to those titles ends on Nov. 30th.

“About to Sin” is nearly finished and currently hits at over 96,000 words. Only 40,000 of those words were ever published. I believe “About to Sin” is strong enough and long enough for print publishing. I think I owe it to myself and my readers to at least try for that. I don’t know if I will succeed, but I must try. I’ve compiled a very short list of agents who deal with titles similar to “About to Sin”. My goal for this title is to have it completely written by the end of the year and polished and submission ready by February.

Open calls of submissions:

Freya’s Bower is doing an m/m anthology edited by Karen Frontain. FB and Karen both have excellent reputations. That call of submission is open until the end of December. From what I understand this will be an e-book anthology. Here’s some information about it.

Freya's Bower invites you to submit your short stories with m/m content for an all m/m anthology. Any genre story: fantasy, western, contemporary, science fiction, horror, historical. We'd like to have a nice mix of genres for this anth. Stories should be between 6,000 to 10,000 words, but we will consider manuscripts a little shorter or a little longer. For submission guidelines as to what Freya's Bower will accept as story content, please visit http://www.freyasbower.com/content/view/12/59/

Double-space your manuscript. Include a header with the title of the story, your name and numbered pages. Indent each new paragraph .5 inches. If there is a scene break, indicate it with a centered***.

All submissions must include:

1. your full name, a pseudonym if used,
2. a brief synopsis, subject or genre,
3. the story attached
4. 'Submission to mm anthology' must be in the subject line,
5. Mail submissions and/or direct queries to kmfrontain@yahoo.ca

Submissions for the anthology close December 31, 2007.

Also, Phaze will be handling Coming Together with Pride edited by Alessia Brio. Phaze and Alessia Brio both have excellent reputations. Here’s a link for more information: Coming Together with Pride . The calls of submission close at the end of December. Coming Together with Pride will be both e-book and print (if my information is correct). Special note: authors will not be getting royalties from this title. This is a charity title and proceeds will be going to HIV/AIDS research. For future reference, keep an eye on Alessia Brio and her Coming Together series. The authors in her anthologies are wonderfully talented and she has several anthologies dedicated to a variety of special causes. I believe there’s another anthology planned to help those hurt by the fires in California. As a reader and/or writer, please support these anthologies. Another special note: stories for this anthology can be m/m, f/f, m/f, etc...even though it's "with Pride" the stories need not be homosexual in nature and the stories themselves need not address HIV/AIDS.

Special note about Phaze: They will not handle any titles with a Catholic priest or nun in a sexual situation.

Publisher Closing.

2007-11-09T18:18:00.001-05:00

LAP/Chip will be closing. This is the publisher that held Full Circle, Selling Foxx and Tainted Past. Since Selling Foxx and Tainted Past had not yet been released, I should be able to find homes for those. Full Circle...well...I'll have to find a publisher that will accept orphaned stories. For those of you who hadn't heard yet, Erotic Dreams, the publisher handling About to Sin, has closed also. I'm still working on that title and I have pretty lofty goals for it.

In the meantime, I'm wearing one of my favorite shirts. I'm going to visit Bryan and John and play some spades tonight while I cheer myself up. At least the readers haven't been left with half a story this time. Any of you who purchased Full Circle and have lost your copies, contact me. I will make sure that you get a copy and that you do not have to pay for it again.

Once I got over the initial shock of this...I'm doing all right with it. Big hugs.

And the truth of the matter is...

2007-10-15T06:33:00.000-05:00

Now everyone knows why I get irritated when the phone rings. All that banging gets painful.

Snagged from No rules. Just write.

There goes that idea. Darn it.

2007-10-07T02:53:00.000-05:00

So, I won't be submitting the story in question to Coming Together: With Pride.

Phaze will not accept any story with a Catholic priest/nun in a sexual situation. According to their FAQ's, they won't even consider it. >.<

Call of Submissions: Coming Together: with Pride

2007-10-06T21:32:00.000-05:00

I wanted to spread the world on this anthology.

http://www.eroticanthology.com/withpride.htm

Net profits will be donated to HIV/AIDS research. Coming Together has produced several charity anthologies: breast cancer research, a charity in the UK that deals with premature babies, and hurricane relief efforts to just name a few.

Alessia Brio is the editor for the Coming Together series. I've not had much interaction with her, but what I've seen she seems competent and pleasant. Phaze is publishing this edition of the series and they're reputable.

Alessia is seeking shorts up to 12,000 words and any genre is welcome. I assume the normal taboos apply (no pedophilia, no necrophilia and no bestiality.) The story does not have to deal with HIV/AIDS.

An anthology is a good place to get exposure. One such as this isn’t a paying market, but it is writing credit and the book will be both print and ebook. Besides, knowing that you did something for charity just feels good. I’m not sure who else will be submitting to them, but there’s usually good talent with this series. Even if you don’t want to submit anything to the anthology, please, check out the work and help these good causes.

Movie Rec: “Conspiracy of Silence.”

2007-10-03T07:05:00.001-05:00

IMBD link

“Conspiracy of Silence” (2003) is a drama about the repercussions of celibacy in the Roman Catholic Church as viewed through the lives of an active priest and his partner, an inactive priest; a straight seminarian; and, a journalist who tries to fight the hierarchy.

Although not as powerful and as hard hitting as the movie “Priest”, “Conspiracy of Silence” does an equally wonderful job of posing priests as both the protagonists and antagonists. This movie could have gone deeper…much deeper, but for what it does, it does well. Personally, I feel as if there was another seminarian and a noble priest who seemed to be forgotten by the writer and the director. It almost feels as if they had much larger roles, but were cut short for some reason.

As far as GLBT interests, this movie makes a lot of promises, but lacks follow through. The beginning of the film sets the stage for what could have been quite interesting. In some ways, I feel as if they told the wrong story or, at the very least, half the story. Even considering that, I’m recommending this movie. Don’t watch this film expecting a “gay movie”.

The cinema photography isn’t my preferred style, but that didn’t distract from the quality writing (what was included was written well) and wonderful acting. This is an Irish movie and some people have complained that the accent makes the dialog difficult to follow. I didn’t have this problem.

Now, for more shallow interests.

Eye candy: There’s not really much. Once again, the beginning is charged with a homoerotic element that seems to be forgotten by the middle of the film. The lead seminarian carried special interest for me because he almost has Father Daniel’s lips and the character is named Daniel. I suspect the meaning and origin of that name leads a lot of writers to name priests “Daniel.” There were a few priests in the background who deserved close-ups that they never received. There is a nicely done heterosexual sex scene, but who cares about that? *wink*

Actors: The bishop in this movie is played by the same actor who plays the bishop in “Father Ted.” There were others I thought I recognized, but I couldn’t place them. However, I suck at that.

My first review—Five Cups for Full Circle!

2007-09-30T19:42:00.001-05:00

My first review—Five Cups for Full Circle!

Please forgive me while I cheer, hoot and scream myself into a whirling dervish of joy! I just received my first professional review for my first novel and Coffee Time Romance called it “original.”

Here’s the review if you want to read it.

Five Cups (ultra rare extraordinary read), “original” and “a book no one should be without.” Wow! Can anyone clue me in on when this will FEEL real, because I’m still in shock!

Woo-hoo!

Cupnjava

Questions for Characters: Answers!

2007-09-29T21:17:00.001-05:00

Not too long ago, I asked if you hand any questions for the characters. Basically giving you the chance to interview the characters. And here are the answers! If you guys think this is fun and entertaining, then I’ll do it again after a little bit. If you come up with any questions, leave them here, e-mail them or hold on to them. I enjoyed this and would like to do it again.

Thanks for participating! ^_^

A single microphone stood on a darkened stage. The lights went up and the hum of electricity filled the silence of the auditorium.

About to Sin:

A woman dressed in a peach sari walked across the stage. A matronly woman with her long dark hair pulled back in a bun. Years of laughter and love had left their mark in her face. Once she stood in the light, gray hair highlighted her dark locks. Another woman, younger and wearing boot-cut jeans and a batwing teal shirt, hurried on stage after the older woman. Anand, walking slowly and gripping his forehead, followed his sister.

The older woman tapped the microphone. “Is this on?” A thick British accent carried her words through the auditorium.

The younger woman spoke. “Yes, Mom, it is.”

Anand’s mother shielded her eyes with her hand and looked out toward the audience. “I don’t see anyone. It’s much too bright.”

Anand sighed. “They’re there, Mom. They’re always there.” Anand shook his head and sighed. “You just HAD to ask her, didn’t you?” He leaned toward the microphone. “You could have asked me about my childhood, you know. What? Do you want to hear that I ate play-doh as a child or something?” He held up an index finger. “Once! Exactly once. And it was way too salty.”

“Would you just let Mom answer the question?” Reaching into a pocket, Rachna pulled out a folded piece of paper.

Anand’s mother read the question aloud, “How do you feel about your son? Proud? Concerned?”

Silence surrounded the trio. Anand’s shoulders relaxed as he looked upon his mother. His features softened and one corner of his mouth twitched as if he wanted to smile, but wouldn’t dare let himself.

Anand’s mother looked up from the note and she smiled, brightening her face. “I love him, dearly, as I do all my children. I am concerned, though.” Her smile dropped a bit as Anand’s rose. “I fear he will never know the joy of being a father.”

Anand rolled his eyes. “Mom, I keep telling you…”

She pointed a finger effectively hushing her son. “Science shall help you.” Returning her attention to the audience, she continued. “And I’m very proud of him.”

If one were looking close enough, they might have noticed the tiny blush upon Anand’s cheeks. A blushed he would deny for he does NOT blush.

“He’s a good doctor—very dedicated to helping those who are ill.”

Anand shook his head and mouthed the word: “money.”

“Lies!” A voice from off stage that sounded a lot like Father Daniel traveled across stage.

Anand’s mother shook her head. “Not lies. I am very proud of him. He studied hard and has grown into a fine young man.”

Rachna put her hand on her mother’s shoulder. “I don’t think he meant you, Mom.”

“Oh,” Anand’s mother continued, “He could call home more.”

Anand stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I called last week.”

Her finger went up again. “Twice a month is not often enough. I gave birth to you and raised you. I put up with all those times you wasted gauze wanting to cure me of ailments I didn’t have. We could never keep tape in the house due to you. I believe I’m entitled to more than two phone calls a month.”

Rachna sighed. “I WARNED you, Anand.” She put an arm around her mother’s shoulders. “Anand is very busy and he works strange hours. It’s difficult to call.”

“And it was difficult giving birth to five children.”

Rachna started shuffling her mother off stage. Prior to stepping into the wings, she looked back at Anand. “Don’t make me pin you to the floor and force you to call her.”

“We’re not children anymore. You can’t do that.”

“Don’t push me, Anand,” she said as she exited.

Daniel walked on stage and joined Anand next to the microphone.

Anand tossed his arms into the air, “Does everyone get a question except me?”

“I hardly think ‘two people’ constitutes ‘everyone’.” He reached into his black pants and pulled out a note. “Besides if you were more interesting, people might ask you questions.”

“I’m plenty interesting!” Anand protested.

Daniel’s mouth opened and closed several times after he silently read the note.

“What’s it say?”

Daniel flatted the note against his chest. “Oh, dear. This…this…is…”

“What’s it say, Daniel?”

“It’s a complex and private question.”

Anand snatched the note away from Daniel and read it aloud, “Do you still think that being in love with Anand and expressing this sexually is sinful?” Anand scratched the back of his head. “Wow, they don’t pull their punches do they?” He folded the note in his hand and looked at Daniel. “Do you love me?”

Daniel crossed his arms over his chest. “Have we reached that point in our relationship?”

Anand shrugged. He looked down at his feet. “Maybe.” Cutting his eyes back toward Daniel, he whispered, “Maybe.”

Tension charged the air between them.

Daniel cleared his throat. “This feels like rushing things to me. Perhaps I should address the second part of the question?”

Anand sighed with relief. “Yeah, good idea.”

Daniel closed his eyes and rubbed his fingers over his forehead. He took in a breath and opened his eyes before speaking, “I’ve spent many hours wondering this. Some might say years pondering this and I’m still not sure what I believe. At one time I knew. At one time I was certain. However, I’ve had to readdress this issue. There’s nothing in the Gospels about same-sex relationships. Jesus never spoke, directly, on the issue which would lead some to believe that it isn’t a matter of importance to Him. All the scripture concerning homosexuality comes from the Old Testament and that also comes with historic context which—”

Anand interrupted with a hand on Daniel’s shoulder. “I don’t think they want a theology lesson. I think they want to know about you personally.”

Daniel nodded. “The fact of the matter is that I made a promise of celibacy at the time of my ordination. Failing to live up to that promise constitutes lying. And that is very clearly a sin. I do not have an easy choice ahead of me. If I cannot live up to my promises to God and the church, then I am not fit to wear the collar I hold dear.”

Anand knitted his brow. “I’d always heard it phrased ‘a vow of chastity’, but you keep saying a ‘promise of celibacy’. What’s the difference between chastity and celibacy?”

“That depends on who you talk to you. Religious order priests take vows. Diocesan priests make promises.”

“What’s the difference?”

“It’s complicated.” Daniel shrugged. “Unless you’d like another lesson…”

“No, thank you.”

“I didn’t think so. Bottom line: I must choose between two paths of the heart. I cannot have both.” Daniel stared at the floor as he walked off stage.

Anand shook his head. “There has to be a solution and we’re going to find it.”

Full Circle:

The lights went down and the auditorium grew silent. Once the stage was illuminated again, all of the vampires from Full Circle stood in a semi-circle around the microphone. Pebble, sat upon a wrought iron perch.

Kendrick pulled out a note and unfolded it. “This one is for the raven.”

Alvaro pulled the perch closer to the microphone.

Kendrick read the note aloud. “How much do you really understand anyway? Can you talk back, like in minds?” Kendrick very briefly smirked.

Pebble with his richly dark wings sat on his perch and stared out toward the audience. His dark eyes seemed to carry more wisdom than they should. He bristled and began to preen for a moment. The air around the bird took on a mysterious feel and seemed to drop a bit in temperature. Pebble stretched out his wings and with two great flaps, he took flight.

Byron shook his head, “I can’t figure out if that bird is an idiot or more than he appears to be.”

Alvaro sighed. “How can we tell the difference between what is real and what we perceive to be real?” He moved the perch away from the microphone.

Alis visually tracked the raven as it left the stage. “Or what’s just creepy.”

Barely perceptibly, Kendrick ticked an eyebrow before putting the note back in his pocket. Reaching into his suit coat pocket, he pulled out another note. “This one is for me. Why did you nearly completely force yourself on Byron when you found him again?” His eyes grew wide and his mouth dropped open. “Is that how it seemed?”

Byron nodded. “Kind of. Yeah.”

“Oh dear.” Kendrick put his hand to his chest and leaned close to the microphone. “I would never take anyone against their will.”

“No, but you were all over me like white on rice.” Byron rolled his eyes.

Kendrick knitted his brow. “Byron you don’t know the joy in my heart when I saw you near the church. When I followed you in—”

“Chased,” Byron corrected.

“Followed.”

“Hunted.”

“Followed.” Kendrick cleared his throat and continued, “into the church—our—church, I…I supposed I was a bit overzealous. Once I figured out that you didn’t remember me…” Kendrick dropped his head. “I thought…

“You were horny,” Byron interrupted.

Kendrick continued, “Hoped…that you might…”

“Horny.”

Kendrick sighed. “I had originally suspected that our separation was why you didn’t remember me and I’d hoped that being near me would help you.”

“You were horny and not in control of yourself.” Byron smirked. “You stalked me all over that sanctuary and until I had no choice but to just ask you what you wanted.”

Kendrick nibbled his bottom lip. “I searched for you for over three centuries. Forgive me for being a bit zealous.”

Byron rolled his eyes. “First it was ‘a bit overzealous’ and now it’s ‘a bit zealous’.” He slowly nodded. “Calling your behavior ‘a bit zealous’ is like saying Elizabeth Bathory did ‘a few bad things’.”

Alvaro visibly shuddered. “Elizabeth Bathory—that’s a name I’ve not heard in a long time. Not long enough.”

“If you would have just tasted of me instead of running away, that day would have been very different.” Kendrick crossed his arms over his chest with an indignant huff. “Next question.”

“I suppose I’ll go next.” Alvaro reached into his pocket and pulled out a note. “Given your history does living in a church bother you at all?” He knitted his brow.

Josiah laughed. “Bother him? You have no idea!”

Alis smacked the back of Josiah’s head. “Don’t be a jerk. If you can manage it.”

“And you’ve fed off too many men!” Josiah pointed at the mid-wife female vampire but kept his eyes on Alis. “You should take a lesson from her.”

The female vampire’s eyes grew wide. “Don’t look at me; the author didn’t even give me a name!”

All of the vampires turned toward her and gasped. “You don’t have a name?” They asked in unison.

She shook her head. “Not that I’m aware of at least.” She fiddled with her skirt. “I’m told that it’s like this. All of us are named after a time era or a specific historical figure—except Kendrick and Byron. Apparently the author hasn’t fleshed out my back story enough to figure out who I am other than a lesbian.”

Byron shook his head. “That pretty much sucks.”

Alvaro adjusted his glasses. “To be fair she really didn’t do much.”

Kendrick knitted his brow. “However, she is a part of the coven and she deserves a name.”

“Technically we are not a coven. We’re a few members short.” Alvaro sighed. “Back to the question at hand. I’m assuming the question is referring to why I left Spain and my history with the Torquemada—being the history that in the eyes of some might have left me a bit upset with The Church. I’m very comfortable in a church. More comfortable in a church than any where else really.”

Kendrick nodded. “It was his suggestion to set up at the church.”

Alvaro continued, “Perhaps I wouldn’t be if I had been captured and tortured; however, it’s possible for someone to warp theology and doctrine while the theology and doctrine remain good.” He walked off into the shadows and returned holding The Book of the War of the Lords. “I think what Samael recorded about Lucifer shows us, clearly, that the intent can be…” He flipped through the ancient pages. “…twisted while…” His right index finger brushed one of the pages. “…while the…the…”

“And we just lost him.” Byron chuckled. “Who has the next question?”

Josiah fished through his pockets and produced two notes. “I do. Two of them.” He grinned, obviously proud of his popularity, before reading the note aloud, “When the hell are you gonna wake up and see the wealth of love just BEGGING for you?” His smile dropped. “I don’t understand the question.” Glancing at Kendrick, he added, “Unless…of course…”

“Back off, Mr. Hormones.” Byron shifted and stepped in front of Kendrick.

Josiah jutted a finger at Byron. “You’ve not even been here for three centuries. You have no right to speak.”

“Do you forget whose memories I have now? I know all the shit you pulled!” Byron returned the finger except his was vertical and not an index finger. “You’re walking on thin ice with me for many reasons.”

“At least I’m not walking out!” Josiah stormed across the stage and stood toe to toe with Byron. “Did the ice break? Or do I need to say it twice?”

“It’s about to!” Bryon grabbed Josiah by the shirt. “Many more times than twice!”

“Gentlemen, gentlemen, please.” Kendrick put one hand on Josiah’s shoulder and one hand on Bryon’s arm. “Let’s not fight in front of the humans. It undermines a sense of unity.”

Josiah jerked out from under Kendrick’s touch and turned his back on Byron. “Oh yeah, love is just all around me.”

Kendrick sighed. “Just read the last question. Supposedly, we’re all still in that church where the author will be starting the sequel. If she notices us missing, she’ll…well…she won’t be well.”

“Hopefully, I’ll get a name this time.” The unnamed vampire shrugged. “Not that I’m complaining or anything, mind you.” She picked at her sleeve. “I’m just saying that it would be nice to be something more than ‘the female who isn’t Alis’, ‘the mid-wife vampire’, ‘the unnamed female vampire’ or ‘the lesbian’.” She sighed. “Add to the fact that the humans don’t even know I’m a lesbian.”

Alis patted the unnamed female vampire’s shoulder. “That’s all right. The humans don’t know that Alasdair is my covenant mate.”

“At least all of you have cool names. I’m just Bob.” Bob jutted his thumb at Phineas. “Rumor has it that the author barely lets him talk because she thinks his dialog is pain in the ass.”

Phineas nodded, but didn’t say a word. Not a damn word.

“And,” Bob continued, “Her editor had to talk her out of killing him off.”

Phineas’s eyes grew wide.

The mid-wife vampire sighed, “At least you two have back story.”

Byron spoke, “So, we’re in agreement that the author is a bitch. Next question.”

“This is a two-parter.” Josiah read the note, “What does Kendrick have that keeps your pining away for someone who DOESN’T want you? In other words, why are you in denial about Alvaro?”

Alvaro looked up from the book. “Pardon? I heard my name.”

Alis leaned toward Alvaro. “Someone wants to know why Josiah is in denial about his feelings for you.”

Alvaro blushed. “He has feelings for me?”

“How can I be in denial about Alvaro?” Josiah shook his head. “In denial about what?”

Alis rolled her eyes. “He’s so far gone that he doesn’t see it when someone beats him with it.”

Shaking his head, Josiah spoke, “Let’s focus on the first question. What isn’t there to like about Kendrick? Really.”

Byron shrugged. “He’s a bit pushy.”

“He’s perfect.” Josiah said to anyone who cared to listen.

Alvaro nodded. “Sometimes, he’s flakey.”

“He…lacks…a certain something…” Alis weakly smiled. “What I’m trying to say is he’s not exactly like your typical leader. He’s…”

“You can say it, Alis.” Kendrick smiled. “I’m not quite as strong as some.”

“He’s incredibly strong.” Josiah countered. “He’s one of the originals and he has powers that…amaze me.”

Alis added. “He’s a bit idyllic at times.”

Alvaro knitted his brow. “He doesn’t always think his plans completely through.”

Kendrick narrowed his eyes. “Fine. I have faults, but should we really be mentioning this before the humans?”

Byron looked down at his white silk shirt. “He places a bit too much importance on outward trappings and signs of power instead of—”

Josiah cut off Byron, “Shut up! He’s charismatic, powerful, wise and…” his eyes traveled toward Kendrick. “…cunning and stunning. And once he realizes that he’s with a lover who doesn’t appreciate him, he’ll want me. No…” Josiah shook his head, “He wants me, but he can’t admit it. The covenant with Byron won’t let him voice his real desires.”

Alis rolled her eyes. “He’s in love with who he thinks Kendrick is.”

“No, I’m not.” Josiah argued. “Besides, he needed me—NEEDS me. He’s hurting and...” He sighed. “Is it so wrong to want to take that pain away?” He tilted his head down and picked at his nails. “I don’t think that’s so wrong.”

Kendrick patted Josiah’s shoulder. “I can appreciate wanting to be the hero. I understand the whole knight in shining armor mindset. But, do you not think that…” He turned his head and looked at Alvaro. “…someone else might be hurting and needing you more?”

“Wha…?” Alvaro’s eyes grew wide and he ducked behind the book. “How…?”

Alis threw her arms up. “Idiots. Stubborn idiots. The both of them!”

“What do you mean?” Josiah looked at Kendrick.

“It’s not my place to say anymore.”

Darkness engulfed the auditorium. The sound of a raven’s wings filled the darkness.

Calling all Questions

2007-09-23T00:52:00.000-05:00

I’m gonna give something a try. Earlier I saw a post by another author where the author interviewed one of his characters. I thought that was neat and then it hit me…why not do a Q and A between the readers and characters?

What do you think? Lame idea? Good idea?

So, if you think it’s a good idea. Here goes…hit me with any question you have for any character from Full Circle. Make sure you let me know which character it’s for. I figure Full Circle is safe because it’s done and there can’t be any spoilers. (There will be a sequel.) However, I’m willing to accept questions for About to Sin characters too, but I will not spoil the story. So, you ask the question and the character answers it.

If you aren’t comfortable posting your questions here, you can e-mail them at im_cupnjava [at] yahoo [dot] com[mercial] and use the subject “Question for [Character Name].” After I get a few, I'll do a post answering them.

I reserve the right to not answer any question, but I will tell you why I…rather…why the character didn’t answer it. ("Alvaro passed out from embarassment due to this question. Josiah is currently trying to revive him." Or "The answer to this question will spoil a scene in the story.")

Wow!

2007-09-18T20:26:00.000-05:00

Guess what…

“This is a beautifully written story.”

“I loved this when I first read it and I love it still no matter how many times I read this. The... feel of the piece is outstanding and the eroticism beyond pleasing. You already know I want more of this. Feed the need”

“Awesome! I am so into this story! I can't wait to read the next part! You are a wonderful writer!”

“Yummy, provacative,scintillating, prose, out there scenario, but pulled off as just this shade of believable-enjoying it immensely"

“very fast pace ,to the point no junk and going off the trail, very emotianal, very sexy"

“What can I say words escape. This is not your ordinary erotic piece. There is a great depth to the characters. You feel the desperation and need that simmers beneath the surface.”

“This is a wonderfully well written story. The guilt/sin, contrition/absolution kinks are so tasty you just have to lick your lips. It's going to be extremely difficult to wait for upcoming chapters on this one."

“I love this story. I can't get enought of it.”

“This story kicks ass. When are ya gonna put chapters 15 and 16 up? My computer cant connect to them and I am verry hocked on tha storry.”

THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT ME!!

I’m so thrilled! The reader support for About to Sin has positively blown me away! Thank you all for reading and taking the time to leave a review. I hope I never disappoint you.

A Blast from the Past

2007-09-18T13:50:00.000-05:00

Wow! I just got off the phone with Barry Geiman . He and I used to talk on a regular basis when I worked with Maureen Sharib. This was part of my life before writing.

I really owe both of them a huge apology. If you think I hermit on you guys by going quiet for a couple of months, you have no idea. It’s been a year…two years…umm…more(?) since I’ve spoken with them.

Literally, I was there and active one day and gone then next. The truth is that I, frankly, sucked at the work. I understood the principles. I enjoyed the work and when I was good I was really good; however, I sucked most of the time and I have absolutely no ability in business development. It was through their unintended guidance that I owe thanks, in part, for my writing career.

While working in research, I wrote a couple of articles. The articles were more popular than my actually work. LOL! Gee…what a hint. A few months later, I received a phone call from J.V. (mentioned in my bio inside Full Circle) and she made me promise to try to get published.

So, if you enjoy my work, you need to thank not only J.V., but also Barry Geiman and Maureen Sharib.

About to Sin--Updated!

2007-09-17T13:56:00.000-05:00

About to Sin just got updated.

While trying to get to know the man beneath the collar, Anand begins to get a hint of the man who chose to wear it.

I hope you enjoy this transition into Anand's backstory, baggage and life.

http://www.eroticdreamspublishing.com/EroticDreams/

Today we bid farewell to...

2007-09-16T03:52:00.000-05:00

Today we say farewell to another keyboard. Replacement Keyboard lived an especially short life and was snatched into Keyboard Heaven rather early. While here, Replacement Keyboard preformed with mediocre abilities and toward the end of its life completely forgot its multi-media functions...except for volume control.

Volume control worked especially hard and well and was always diligent with its green bars at the bottom of the screen duties. Although senile and with numerous buttons faded, Replacement Keyboard did try its best to provide hot words and a pleasing blue light.

I wish we could say that we would miss Replacement Keyboard, with its clear nail polish cosmetic surgery enhancements, but that is not the case. We shall only miss the money that will go toward Replacement Keyboard Number 2.

We will NOT miss the crappy and ill-designed Back-Up Keyboard Number 2 one little bit.

Electrons to electrons. Microchips to microchips. We do not return Replacement Keyboard back to its maker for it is no longer under warranty. Yea though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of CompUSA, I shall fear only non-multi-media keyboards for the spirit of volume control aren't with me.

Go in peace.

Ok, ok, so that was a sub-par eulogy, but the keyboard DID suck. >.< What did it last? A year or so?

And life keeps getting better!

2007-09-14T14:25:00.000-05:00

I've been given a piece of fanart for About to Sin! Here's a link to an LJ post where I thank the artist and show the art.

I'm completely thrilled!

Writer's Blogs

2007-09-11T18:38:00.001-05:00

I stumbled across an interesting post about writer's blogs on Amazon.

I hope that I'm not doing the things people are complaining about. I try to make this blog informative and productive. Hmm...I probably do have too many "me, me, me" posts in here.

What do you think about writer's blogs in general? Do you think they're worthwile reads or just another place for someone to yammer on about things only important to them?

I think they have good potential if they aren't all promo. I like some personal information about the author, because it makes me feel as if I'm getting to know them. I know that's not really true, but it still carries that sense. I like using my blogs as a way of keeping in touch with readers and fellow writers. It gives me a communal feeling of sorts. Some blogs focus on industry news and that's quite helpful. Other blogs focus on writing tips and that's equally as helpful.

All blogs are risky in a PR sense. If I go batshit insane it will, most likely, first show on a blog. If I'm not careful about my rantings (see previous posts), I can risk offending a good deal of people. (Or maybe one person when I factor in the traffic this blog usually gets. LOL!)

I run three "writing" blogs and one personal blog. Each blog has a different target audience and more often than not the blogs have unique content.

However, I'm going to continue reading through that thread on Amazon and see what kinds of things people are seeking when they visit writer's blog. Perhaps, I shall learn something.

Bad Book.

2007-09-10T15:26:00.000-05:00

Sometimes a book is so bad you have to rant about it. Sometimes it is so terribly bad that you have to rant twice.

RANT ONE:

Dear My Editor,

How come *points to print book by Publisher Name* this writer *points to name on cover* can do all of those things you told me to correct? How come he gets to have all sorts of POV slips and many of them make absolutely no sense. How come he gets to have pretty hefty logic gaps? How come he's allowed to tell and not show when showing would have been especially simple and much more enjoyable? *twitch*How come he gets to use weak be verbs in EVERY FREAKING sentence for three goddamn pages? *twitch* How come I cringe when I think about how much I WOULD HAVE enjoyed this book BEFORE I started learning about writing? *twitch*

How come I'm not allowed to suck as much as he, the PRINT author, does? It's not FAIR!

With love,

Cupnjava

To be honest, the story sounds really cute and I do hope I'll be able to get past page twelve before I go mad with twitching to "fix" the story. Come on, some of these things feel like he went out of his way to do it wrong. Maybe it's crappy editing instead of poor writing? Maybe it's both?

Dear Print Author Sir,

Far be it for me to question your skills, but when you are working on your next title, please, try to consider that using weak "be verbs" instead of "action verbs" actually weakens your writing. Also, when something happens beyond the line of sight of a character and you go out of your way to make sure the reader understands that Character A cannot see Character B doing what Character B is doing, you are not allowed in three pages to mention how Character A saw it all.

Also, if I read one more adverb when an adjective or a verb would have worked much better, I'm finding you and shoving this book up your tush. I think this one needs more digesting time.

And please, I beg of you, please, could you try to include more showing and less telling?

With all of that said...

I'm currently on page 10 of your novel. I do appreciate the humor and the plot, according to the back cover, does seem rather cute. I do hope that you do not cause me medical problems while I try to get through your novel. I've spent three days (including bitching time) getting to page 10. At this rate I should be done with your book in a little over 55 years and I'll be kind enough to write you a reader review.

With love and nothing sharp hidden behind her back,

Cupnjava

RANT TWO:

Dear Print Author of the book that will take me 55 years to finish,

I'm going to choke the shit out of you if I ever meet you. What were you or/and your editor thinking? Do you know what POV means? Do you have any idea what it means when someone says "passive writing"? Are you aware that there are active verbs in the English language? Additionally, not every side-character deserves POV especially when it is painfully obvious you wrote it to fluff word count. Damn shame those were some of your best sections too.

How could you take such a charming story, give me great character designs and write the story in such a way that it's a lesson in how NOT to write.

In a way, I should thank you. The cock-up you managed to put before me gives me hope that...wait...before I finish that let me check the publisher. Oh, this is pure bullshit. I know some authors who have subbed really good work to that publisher and were rejected. So much for finding hope in that you got print-published.

I'm terrified of what might be lurking in your other linguistic torture devices (aka books).

Dear Editor who edited the aforementioned author,

I hope what I'm reading is a sign of author arrogance and not an example of what you think is good editing. This is the kind of editing that makes other editors cry. If this is the result of working with a PITA author, then grow some balls and make the PITA author do it right. If you cave to PITA authors and author arrogance THIS MUCH then you have no business being an editor.

I hope I never work with an editor who will allow me to shame myself, my editor or my publishing house to this level.

Dear Publisher who published the aforementioned story,

Stop smoking crack. It's one thing to see potential in a story and accept a MS based upon that, but you really should do something--anything--as a quality check to make sure the potential wasn't killed in a horrific linguistic accident that exploded crap all over dead trees.

Additionally, you may want to check your organization to see who is trading sexual favors for MS acceptances. At the very least, you could share the name of the person who needs the blowjob that badly so that they may be barred from touching the slush pile. Perhaps an office pool for an "escort" is in order? Get this person laid before they destroy your publishing house.

All three of you owe me the money for one whole bottle of blood pressure meds.

Cupnjava

I'm moving this book to the bathroom so that the pages might have some kind of use.

Don’t preach to your reader.

2007-09-10T06:12:00.000-05:00

Tami Parrington mentioned this in blogpost right around a year ago and something has gotten under my fingernails and has forced me to mention it again.

Hubby is getting into a webseries called Afterworld. Normally, when something bothers me, I don’t mention it by name. Afterworld gets the dubious honor of being an exception.

I’ve watched just enough of that to make me ache. The idea is wonderful. The visuals are creative and good. The production group seems to have a real good handle on keeping tone. The voice actors are good too.

The writing, however, is making me wish I knew who to bitch slap. Every time the song in my playlist changes, it seems as if they’re preaching to the viewer. The section I actually sat down to watch had both hubby and I rolling our eyes and mocking it by humming a song. (I’d tell you which one, but the importance would be lost because it’s a long standing joke.) And hubby LIKES the webseries.

Here’s a clue…applied with a baseball bat. If you have to spread your “message” like I would cream cheese on a bagel, then you told it wrong. If you have to slap a sappy, sickening, after-school-special-flashbacks-giving, “What’s the lesson you learned today, children?” moment at the end of it all, then you are not only being condescending toward the reader, but you didn’t tell it right.

Besides, leave the preaching to the pulpit. It’s not a fiction writer’s job to provide a moral guide to life unless of course you’re one of those writers with an agenda. If you are, you can bet I won’t be your reader.

By all means, writing can illustrate a point and can do more than just entertain. But, as writers, we don’t get to tell the reader what lesson they’re supposed to learn. Reading isn’t a passive activity were the reader gets spoon fed everything. What a reader or a viewer garners from a story is unique to themselves. Writers set it up. We tell (via showing) our stories and let the reader draw any “life’s lessons” conclusions on their own. Those conclusions are the reader’s/viewer’s job not the writer’s duty.

Fiction writers can lead the reader. We can guide the reader. We can hope the reader will take home the idea that X leads to Y and Y is bad, but we shouldn’t smush anything against the reader’s face. Often times (I’m tempted to say all the time), the best way to make a point is to not come right out and make it. Hint. Elude. Imply. Finesse the concept. Do not take a…well…baseball bat and crack the point against the reader’s skull.

Do your job. Write the story and let the reader do their job.

Tropical Storm Gabrielle

2007-09-08T23:05:00.000-05:00

If there are any weather/news junkies here, you may have noticed there's a little storm off the coast. Gabrielle has been upgraded from subtropical to tropical. This is a minor storm, very minor, and it is expected to graze my area. If the power flickers I'll be surprised. We're looking at...get this...water rise of one foot.

>.>
<.<

One foot? And this is news? The places that are in the direct path are looking at a water rise of about three feet. It's supposed to hit some time between low tide and high tide. If it hits early and close to low tide the water rise will take it to about the level of normal high tide. If it hits closer at high tide we're looking at basically a double high tide. The wind speeds MIGHT, possibly, if a large crowd sneezes to help this gimpy little storm, reach gusts of 60 mph.

*yawn*

Anyways, I didn't want anyone worrying.

Advice site.

2007-09-08T13:13:00.000-05:00

KM Frontain has a wonderful writing advice site up. I try to read as much of these types of articles as possible. Not every piece of advice written on the net is worth heeding, but knowing what I disagree with and why I disagree with it is rather important and useful.

I need to work on POV transitions and I’m doing my best to learn what I can, but this has to be some of the best advice I’ve ever read about POV.

Here are some quotes from her POV article.

1A. Always lead away from one character POV to another using action, speech, or a "timing or placement" phrase.

What's a timing or placement phrase? Things like "Over on George's side of the table" or "When his friend looked into the kitchen". It's that simple. Actually, the timing and placement comes in if you use action to move away from a certain character's POV.

Personally, I love doing this. In Tainted Past the first POV transition is when the main POV character feels the effects of the morphine. Other times I have the character leave the scene or a new character enter as a transition marker. I see now that my transitions in Tainted Past are smoother than those in Full Circle.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m proud of Full Circle. I think it’s good work, but it is a first novel. It’s the official starting point of my growth as a writer. I can only imagine how in 5 years I’d finesse the work I’m doing now.

Tainted Past is told mainly from Tyler’s POV. Most of the emotion and the power in the scenes will be from Tyler’s perspective. However, there is information critical to the story that is only known by the other characters and that’s why this story needs third person and not first person.

Here’s another quote from the article.

You had better not intrude one perspective or thought pattern belonging to one character into the thoughts of another, unless they're telepathically connected.

I’m glad KM included this. There are always exceptions to rules and telepathically connected characters are the exception. Well, it’s not really an exception is it? If they’re telepathically connected then the character B’s POV becomes character A’s POV. There’s a section in Full Circle, during a sex scene, where this briefly happens.

This is another gem from the article.

3. Be careful of your pronouns; do not leave your reader wondering who is speaking, acting or thinking.

What do I mean? Because multiple characters are acting or speaking, you can't just use "him" or "he" if all your characters are male.

When people read their first m/m it takes a while to become accustomed to the “name heavy” aspect of it. When het readers from a writing group I sometimes attend read one of my excerpts, I can count on them marking paragraphs as name heavy.

When I get that back, I’ll check it over and tweak it. I’ll also make a note about it and ask my editor to check it for being name heavy. My editor has never considered the paragraph name heavy. By het standards they would be name heavy, but by m/m standards they aren’t. It’s the nature of the beast. If there can be any doubt about the object of the preposition, use the name.

Thanks to KM for writing such informative articles!

The Writing Process Part Three: Writing Phase

2007-09-06T00:22:00.001-05:00

Disclaimer: My process may not be your process. I'm not above making mistakes. Yadda, yadda, yadda, blah, blah, blah and so on.

At this point in the process, I’ve covered all the research that I think I’ll need before I get into the nitty-gritty of writing. There’s ALWAYS more research that will be needed like little factoids to check, verbiage to verify, and maybe even big things that I didn’t anticipate. However, for this story, I think I’m ready to start typing.

The first scene is very important as it sets the tone for the whole piece. When the reader starts the book they have a blank slate, more or less, in their minds. Chances are they’ve read the blurb, perhaps read the excerpt and viewed the cover, but they really don’t know what to expect. They’re completely open and if you screw up the first scene you could be sending your reader in the wrong direction.

The beauty of writing in this day and age, you can screw up anything and correct it with just a few keystrokes. So, don’t sweat this too much, but do keep in mind you want a strong first scene.

I’ve heard some good tips about first scenes and I’m going to take a moment to share some a couple of them. Some people like to start in the middle of a conversation. Some like to start with some action (sexual or otherwise). Some like to start with the ending of something and that “hooks” the reader because they have to mentally scramble to piece it together. Some say those are horrible ways to start a scene. Um…I think that’s all I’ve read about first scenes beyond making them strong. (Whatever the frick that means.)

There are three rules for writing the novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965)

I keep all of this in mind when I’m working with my first scene, but I don’t bang my head against the screen trying to make it fit some kind of formula.

I try to have a rough idea of what the blurb will be and I never expect something revealed in the blurb to be a point so suspense in the story.

Let me restate that for emphasis, because I don’t think many authors realize how much they kill their story with the blurb. Do not spoil your story with your summaries and blurbs. Fanfic writers, if your story hinges on a secret pairing DO NOT list the pairing in your summary.

Let’s all take a moment and think about how often we’ve read spoilers in blurbs. Kind of scary isn’t it? Yes, I know I mentioned Kendrick needing to find Byron in the blurb of Full Circle, but I never expected the reader to expect Byron and Kendrick to not be together. Come on, did ANYONE really expect them to NOT get together? No. No one expected that. So, I didn’t count on that being a suspenseful plot point, but I did use it as a normal plot point.

Sometimes suspense will sneak up on you. I never expected Anand and Daniel staying together to be a point of suspense in About to Sin. Due to the way that story is being presented I realized that, somehow, I managed to put suspense in there and it got to the point that it hurt the story. Some readers feared so much for the fate of the relationship that they were holding back on an emotional connection with the characters and the relationship. That’s a compliment, really. It means that I’ve written it well enough that some readers are right there with the boys in the “How can we work this out, because I don’t see a good way here” thing. It also means that I’ve written the sympathetic characters.

I gambled on assuring everyone that Anand and Daniel will be together come hell or high water. That seems to be working because the suspense is now where I want it. Not IF they will be together, but HOW is it all going to work out? Will Daniel leave the priesthood to be with Anand and how much will it crush him? Will Daniel stay in the priesthood and keep the relationship on the DL? Would Anand, someone who is out and proud, be willing to do that in a relationship? How long could Daniel hide a DL relationship and how would he settle the issues inside of him for doing something like that? I don’t like “ifs” being the point of suspense. If the reader figures it out, assumes the ending or if I slip up and give it away before I want to, then the suspense goes right out the window and I’ve lost the reader to boredom. If the reader figured out the ending, but can’t figure out HOW it will all work out, I’m golden.

With this sci-fi story what’s something I will need to include in the blurb to hit my target readers, but I wish I wouldn’t have to? The fact that Ryir is male and not female. More specifically, I’m going to have to include that Ryir is a eunuch. This book will be listed in the yaoi or gay fiction section of the catalog. I’ll need to spill the beans on this before the reader even opens the book. So, at no point in time should I expect Ryir’s gender (or would that be sex?) to be a point of suspense for the reader. This means I need to focus on making the HOW of this revelation interesting, because the revelation itself won’t be. The reader will know long before the characters know. If I can get the character worrying about how this information might change things, then I’m golden. However, I’m not counting on that. Does anyone think Kaz and Ryir won’t get together? Nope. I can’t use that. So, I need to focus on the process of them getting together being interesting. Kaz and Ryir getting together: no suspense. Kaz and Ryir staying together: in this story there’s believable suspense, but I’m still not counting on it. To be honest, I’m not exactly sure where the suspense will be in this story and I ain’t sweating it. I’ll find it.

So, with this sci-fi story that I still haven’t named, what do I need for a first scene? I want to show the setting: outer space. I need to show the humor. I also need to get the main couple together so I can start working on the relationship. This is a yaoi story and an erotic story. The relationship aspect cannot be pushed to second. It needs to be handled with every bit of care as the plot of the story. Additionally in the first scene, I need to give the reader some foundational knowledge about the characters without it being an infodump.

Also, this scene is pretty important for my writing style. Remember I write linearly (aka sequentially) so as I write I’m building upon what I’ve written and I’ve never changed the opening paragraph of a story. I’ve tweaked it and edited it, but I’ve never changed it. So, I’m counting on what I type to stick.

So, with all of that in my mind, I turn off the ringers to my phone. Set up a techy play list (Billy Idol’s Cyberpunk mainly) and pull up a blank document. I close my eyes and get wrapped up in the music. I use my mind’s eye to see what’s going on and eventually my fingers will start punching keys. Point of note: When I’m struggling to type, I will sit with my eyes closed and blindly touch type until I’m “feeling it” and can carry on with my eyes open.

Here’s the first chapter with my comments in italics. For publishing purposes, I won’t be able to share the whole story. I can only share what would logically be considered and excerpt. So, please, understand when I don’t share the whole thing. However, I don’t think any publisher will begrudge me sharing a rough draft of a few pages here and there.

Begin chapter one:

The spaceport teemed with life. Humanoids from all over gathered at the merchant port. Kaz stood at the promenade and watched the people on the lower deck shift and move. The mass of beings appeared to meld into a single organism. An ameba of sorts that oozed in one direction, shrank in another and wriggled in a third.

People came, deposited their swathe of color in the ameba and left for whatever their destination was. The food merchants hit the top of nearly everyone’s list. A few stragglers simply lingered looking like lost tourists. Kaz smirked when one man pulled out a digicam. Not like tourists, they were tourists. And most definitely lost if they were taking a picture of the bathroom entrance.

Some people may think I’ve killed this story before it had a chance with these two paragraphs. Starting a story with the setting isn’t considered all that strong. I couldn’t think of a good action scene and a middle of a conversation thing didn’t seem fitting. So, I’ve tried to highlight the humor. I think “oozed” and “wriggled” are funny words and the thoughts of a tourist taking a picture of a public bathroom makes me snicker. I think this will work.

Also point of note: I used the word digicam. I think anyone who lives in our day an age will know that’s a camera. Yes, this is a sci-fi story and I could have called it anything. However, if I’d used a really strange word I would have needed to bog down the sentence to explain it to the reader. Additionally, humans are creatures of habit. Once we get words we tend to hold onto them. From telegraph through teletype and telephone and ending with telecommunications all of those words begin with “tele.” I don’t think in the future things will be named all that different. How long has Latin been a dead language and how many of our new terms still have Latin roots? I doubt anyone will call me on if the word digicam will be used in X century. I might be writing about the future, but I need contemporary readers to be able to understand it. Besides most speculative fiction becomes laughable when the future becomes now. Do I need to ask for my “in the year 2000” flying car or self-cleaning house to make my point clearer? I’m not going to fret over coming up with super-duper “space age polymer” words for things that might very well have mundane words like “plastic”.

Nearly everything could be found at space station Dirk, named after the man who discovered and refined the use of Dirk Crystals as space-going fuel. Kaz didn’t care about Dirk, his crystals or whatever that Miyla vendor sold.

That other Miylas ate.

That moved.

That smelled like wet tar covered in burning rubber.

He especially didn’t care about that.

Two things with this section. I included the Dirk Crystals thing to cover my ass over why people in the future can travel through space. At one time I was an avid sci-fi reader, but I didn’t pay attention to the tools writers would give themselves. I was just a reader and that’s going to hurt me with this story. Will sci-fi readers expect me to explain the science in this story? I mean, really explain the science or will some things, like space travel, go without question? I don’t know.

The second thing is the structure for the Miyla vendor. I used that structure for humor (controlling pace for humor). I thought delivering the funny in such a way would boost the humor, but that’s very risky structure and I should be prepared for an editor to make me change it. And, I forgot something very important. The reader isn’t in my head. I need to describe the aliens. However, I can cover that in self-editing. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times. Writing gets it down. Editing makes it pretty.

The Duster, Kaz’s ship, a lean, mean, vicious bounty hunting ship, was in for some-billionth light-year overhaul, assuming the odometer’s accuracy could be trusted. That mattered to Kaz, but it stood second to something that had to be the jewel of the universe: Karne Cream Soda.

This paragraph is also risky. The Duster isn’t a lean, mean, vicious bounty hunting ship. That’s what Kaz THINKS it is and this paragraph runs the risk of deceiving the reader or making it look like I have a continuity problem. Hopefully, I’ll be able to make it clear to the reader later on. Also, this is written from Kaz’s POV and what he thinks is what needs to be written. The truth or the difference between Kaz’s POV and reality is brought out by interacting with other characters. The POV character can be wrong, but you don’t want them so wrong as to be deceiving the reader.

However, this paragraph does give the reader Kaz’s motivation for being where he is. The man is thirsty and only one drink in the universe is important to him right now.

He turned his back to the ameba below the railing and stared at the Karne store. He liked to take his time and savor the moment with this. The store front was every bit as colorful as the Karne culture wasn’t.

The structure of that last sentence is risky. It’s odd structure and one that some people consider as feeling incomplete. I, personally, like that structure.

The Karne, from a desert planet, tended to dress in dull tans. Their language looked to be little more than variations of wind-waves on dunes. This store, run by a presumably orthodox Karne man, knew the importance of color in advertising. As if Karne Cream Soda needed advertising.

I need to explain why Kaz thinks the Karne man is orthodox.

Some demi-god on that forsaken planet concocted the most succulent formula ever known to human taste buds and especially Miyla taste buds. That formula put Karne on the star charts, in nearly every spaceport and at the top of Kaz’s supply list.

As he approached the store, he didn’t need the adverts to remind him of the pale amber color, white fizz and shifting bubbles. His mind easily recalled the mellow mix of exotic spice blended with a smooth cream—a taste equally crisp and creamy.

Karne Cream Soda came in fresh, hydrated, dehydrated, canned and even frozen varieties. A supply of canned should be onboard the Duster now. Kaz came here for the fresh variety. The best variety. A little slice of the divine when served so cold the glass started to sweat before the pour was finished.

At this point, I want the reader to at least on a small level to want to taste this fictional soda.

The intercom over his ear beeped. He tapped the ear piece expecting one of the crew to be contacting him.

“You about ready? Maintenance is done.” The voice a low baritone meant one person and only one person.

“Yeah, Enron, I just gotta get a Cream Soda and I’ll be back to ship.”

“If you knew the history, you wouldn’t call your accountant, ‘Enron.’”

Kaz smirked. Maybe he did know the history and still felt the nickname fit. Did Enron ever think of that? Nope. The crew never gave him enough credit.

I’m beginning to show a bit of the relationship dynamics between Kaz and his crew here.

“And you can’t deceive me. You’re not going in for just the soda.”

Oh yes, he was.

“You’re going in there for that Karne woman.”

Well…there was her. Kaz smiled. “What can I say? I’m in love.” He patted his chest to emphasize the point.

And now we see the real reason this soda is so important, or do we? Is it possible that our hero puts a wonderful woman on the same level or below that of a soda? This can hurt me or help me. It will vary from reader to reader.

“Yeah, for the twelfth time in an E.A. year.” The snide tone to Enron’s voice indicated the number-cruncher wasn’t taking this love affair seriously.

The reader should be asking what “E.A.” is.

“That’s not true and since when do you accurately understand Earth Alpha’s time references?” And touché!

And answered. I’ve established how most time will be measured. I needed an increment of time that the reader would be able to understand. Star Trek may have the stardate, but Scotty still gave his estimates in hours—Earth hours.

“About the same time you learned her name.”

Kaz’s lips pulled into a thin line. That stung. They’d been here for six E.A months and he’d fallen in love with her with the first soda. Karne women were veiled in as much mystery as their bodies were fabric. Normally not seen beyond the confines of their own planet and sometimes their own homes, they wore fabric from head to toe with only their eyes exposed to the outside world.

Is anyone going to think that I’m talking about anything other than a burka?

So, he didn’t know her name and he didn’t know what her face looked like. None of that mattered. He knew her eyes. Those glorious breath-taking eyes. He saw them peering at him between layers of fabric in his sleep. There’s something about being denied seeing anything else on her that made her eyes seem all the more stunning.

The Karne were an attractive race to begin with possessing sloped eyes and upswept ears. Her eyes haunted Kaz. Their slant whispered of feline evolution. The wet of her eyes grabbed the light and sparkled rivaling the very drink the men around her served. Her irises, a shocking silver, pierced Kaz’s chest with every risky glance. The pupils, as black as her thick eyelashes, formed an elliptical pool of secrets.

I may have gone too heavy here with the SPESHUL eyes. However, this I write yaoi and this is one of the luxuries we get to enjoy. Also, this is the only part of her body, essentially, that he can see. So it makes sense to me that he would see them as oh-so-wonderful. As a side note: this section is an homage to the notes I read from an anthropologist about his studies in Afghanistan (pre-war). The way he described one woman’s eyes blew me away and I still don’t think I captured it right. I don’t want to plagiarize the man, but what he grabbed in with a few sentences with something I can’t do in two paragraphs. *groan*

Every so often, he’d sneak a peek at her hands—long thin fingers with light pink nail beds and warm tan skin. She had to be beautiful. Had to be.

The long thin fingers is the first hint to the reader that not all is as it seems. Only the people who know the physiological changes common to eunuchs will pick up on it.

Damn that fabric.

Being denied her visage, made him crave it even more.

“Hurry up.” Enron’s voice put his baritone to her face—a vision Kaz never wanted to visit again. “Get your soda, get your heart-broken and get back to the ship. We have job.”

“Who are we going after?”

“Cargo job.”

Kaz winced. Not another cargo job! “We’re bounty hunters not cargo carriers.”

“Right.” Enron drew out the word. “That’s why we’re in a cargo ship. Perfectly logical.”

“We’re in a cargo ship because that’s what I could afford at the time.”

“Look do you want to be the fastest cargo carrier or the slowest bounty hunter?”

Kaz sighed and his shoulders slumped. “But being a bounty hunter is so much cooler than being a cargo carrier. Dog fights and races. Not ‘sign here for delivery conformation.’” It wasn’t his fault they showed up at bounty hits last. The Duster was meant to be a bounty hunter ship. Slick and fast and…and…completely and totally bulky and under-gunned.

Yes, our hero is a bit shallow.

Enron cleared his throat. No doubt waiting for Kaz to relent. Again.

“What are we carrying?” He relented.

Somewhere in here I need to add a line about modifications made to the engine. There are two reasons why they’re the fastest cargo ship and the slowest bounty hunters. Kaz in his quest to be a bounty hunter, gave the Duster wonderful engines. The second reason is that they have turned off the artificial inside the cargo holds. The fact that the base design of the ship is that of a cargo ship and not a speeder makes it slower than the speeder, but the modifications make it faster than a typical cargo.

Oh, and there’s a third reason they’re the fastest and it has to do with them being stupid…I mean…daring…no let’s go with stupid enough to use Fold Portals. That’s rooted in the idea that the shortest distance between two places is, in fact, a curve and not a straight line. I can’t really explain the physics behind that or Einstein’s theory. Since none of the characters can either, I don’t have to. Fold Portals are basically what we’d call wormhole, but they’re less stable. In this universe the coordinates to such holes travel in black market circles. That’s also connected to the THEORY that traveling and speeds faster than light have to happen in envelopes and travel in protected areas that are basically between planes of existence.

Umm…yea…I totally don’t understand all of that, but I know enough of the basic concept to get across what I think the reader will need to know. Then again, no one may question why in my sci-fi FICTIONAL story people can travel in space ships.

“We’re being paid enough to not ask that question.”

All right, that was a little cool. “It better not be toys again.”

“Like the bunny you put a spiked collar on?”

“That’s our mascot not a toy, ya snippy bastard. Kaz out.” He tapped the com unit disconnecting the transmission. He didn’t need this kind of abuse. Grease gave him all the abuse he could ever need. And Bunny Duster certainly didn’t deserve that lack of respect. Cute little bunny with blue ears and a pink nose. A little heart on his tummy. And when Kaz squeezed Bunny Duster’s tummy, the furry ears would stand up. How could that not be the best mascot in the history of ship mascots?

Who doesn’t like a hero with a cute little bunny? Whoa…I just reminded myself of Ni. Ok, I SO don’t mean for there to be any connection with Ni. Ni is hardly a hero, right?

When he walked into the store, one of the Karne men stood. “Same as earlier?”

Kaz nodded. She remained seated on a stool with her eyes cast toward the floor. Five other men mulled around behind the counter seemingly acting busier than they were. As the man poured the soda, Kaz looked at her without trying to appear as if he was looking at her. He’d be leaving soon and this would be his last vision of her. Silently pleading for her to look up, he tried to make a memory.

Pale linen covered her from head to toe. Fabric piled up in her lap and swallowed her feet. Her hands, folded over her thighs, quivered in a barely perceptible tremble. The soda, in a sealed cup, clacked down on the counter before him. She slowly blinked and cut her eyes up.

Blood scurried from Kaz’s face. His breath left him and his heart nearly hammered its way out of his chest. She was risking her life giving him that glance and he knew it. Trying not make the situation worse for her, he smiled at the man and offered his cred-stick for payment.

“Was risking” need to be changed to “risked.” That’s an obvious “be verb” fix.

Water already beaded on the sides of the glass and the amber color, for some reason, didn’t seem nearly as pretty as it should have. “You gentlemen…” He took a chance and looked at her. “…and lady, have a wonderful day.” With his cup in hand, he turned and mentally bid the store farewell.

Didn’t seem nearly as pretty as it should have. Oh dear, is some woman knocking the soda from Kaz’s number one spot?

Angry voices, in the Karne language, pushed against the back of his shoulders. Damn it. He took two steps toward the door. In the reflection of a particularly glossy advert, he saw the outline of her being snatched up by the shoulder. Double damn it. Guilt pressed against his chest. Was it her glance or his salutation that did this?

Does the shallow hero with an affinity for fluffy bunnies and risky jobs actually have an ethical streak?

One of the men, the reflection was too vague to determine which one, pushed her from out behind the counter. Another man barked at her in a tone that screamed of admonishment. Kaz’s gut twisted.

Gut or guts?

She dropped to her knees. A stumble or a sign of submission? He wasn’t sure. This wasn’t his culture. He shouldn’t get involved.

But, he kind of caused it, right?

Any more action on his part might make it worse for her. So, why was he turning around?

One of the Karne men, the one who made the soda, lifted his hand. Her arms snapped up defending her face. Kaz darted toward her and snatched her wrist. Not his place. Not his culture, but his instincts wouldn’t let him leave it like that.

I need to add something here, like him putting himself between her and the Karne man. Kaz grabbing her wrist is NEEDED, but it doesn’t really protect her in any way. I know what I was trying for here, but it doesn’t work. This needs attention.

Damn ethics.

She looked up at him with terror in her eyes. Fuck! He’d touched her and thus signed her death warrant.

The whine of charging blaster pistols sliced his ears. After ripping himself from her eyes, he scanned the barrels of five pistols pointed at him. A sixth directly at her.

Ah…shit….

Nothing to do now, but…”Run!” he screamed. Partly yanking on her and partly of her own volition she secured her footing and together they raced for the door. One bolt buzzed by his ear shattering the glass of the pneumatic door. Glass crunched under foot as he, with her in tow and drink in hand, cleared the door.

I need to figure out if “partly of her own volition” is a POV slip or not. He would be able to tell if she was helping herself stand because of the pull against his arm, but will the reader see it that way? Actually, readers don’t give must attention to little POV slips like this, but editors do. So will the editor see it like this?

The rest of the store’s windows crashed to the deck as the men unloaded their charged bolts. One bolt ricocheted off something and skimmed some of the sweat off his glass.

Now, that was going too far! Attacking the innocent soda? Wrong—wrong on a multitude of levels. Ducking and darting through the crowd, the alternating whine and buzz of the pistols, followed them. Tapping the com unit with his wrist, Kaz yelled at the crew, “Start the engines! Start the engines!”

“What’d you do this time?” Enron asked.

“This time” all the back story the reader could possibly need.

Hoping to get lost in the ameba of people on the lower deck, he aimed for the elevator. Blaster bolts charred the thick clear doors as they closed. The feminine electronic voice of the elevator spoke, “Doors closing. Stand clear.”

Through the walls of the elevator, Kaz watched people scramble for cover on both the upper and lower floors. Security rushed toward the commotion and a couple of the Karne men faded into the panicked crowd.

She, with labored breath, leaned against the side of the elevator car. Her palm with her fingers stretched out seemed to hold more of her weight than her feet. She had to have the longest fingers he’d ever seen on a female. Crappy upbeat music from some world filled the elevator.

Two things. Once again, I’m mentioning her long fingers. That’s another clue. It’s very subtle as women can have long fingers and be fully female, but it’s still a clue. And the upbeat music bit needs to be expanded. I don’t think ironic humor carries. I’m trying to give the reader the image of chaos all around the elevator as last decade’s “snappy, poppy” pop music is piped into the elevator.

“Did you get hit?”

She didn’t respond.

“What did you do, Kaz!” Enron asked again.

The elevator dinged and the electronic voice spoke again, “Doors opening. Merchant deck one. Enjoy your visit at Space Station Dirk. Good day.” The doors hissed and parted.

Worry would have to wait. He hoped she could still run. She straightened to her full height and Kaz nearly dropped his soda. She had to be close to his height and he was 6’ 3”. Are all Karne women that tall?

Her height is a clue that something is amiss also. Is it possible for the female of an alien species to be nearly 6’3”? Yep, sure is. But, it’s also a point of observation needed for the eunuch status.

Zig-zagging through what was left of the crowd and staying very clear of whatever had escaped Miyla food vendor, they ran through the halls of the station seeking the commercial traffic elevators.

“You idiot!” That would be Grease’s voice through the com unit. “What the hell have you done?”

“Start the engines, Grease!” Explanations could wait.

“They’re started. Tell me why I shouldn’t leave you behind?”

“I own the ship!”

“And?”

Prime example of how his crew treats him. This is NOT one of those leave no members behind groups. Kaz better watch his ass or they will leave him. Or at least that’s what Grease wants Kaz to think.

Arguing could wait too.

He nearly lost his footing as he rounded the last corner to the elevators leading to the mechanical bays. He slammed his elbow against the call button and the whine of a single blaster came from behind him.

He turned and the barrel pointed directly at her—a straight and clear shot. “Leave,” the Karne man said in the common language, “this can go away for you.”

Five. Four. “I’m sorry…” Three. “…I can’t do that.” Two. He lunged for her. One.

I don’t think this is clear. He’s counting down the time it takes the elevator to arrive. What I’m trying to show is that he’s taken these elevators way too many times.

The elevator doors opened. “Doors opening. Commercial Annex. Enjoy…” By the time the electronic voice finished its spiel, Kaz had her knocked to the ground and together they rolled into the elevator.

The bolt fried a circle of carpet just outside of the doors. The pistol whined as it recharged.

“Doors closing. Stand clear.”

The whine grew higher.

The doors hissed.

Kaz lay on top of her with his drink still in his hand and his eyes looking down the barrel of a pistol. Close faster damn it! Close faster!

The whine stopped and the Karne man shifted his aim down. Smirking, he jerked forward and the pistol broke the eyebeam of the doors, making them open again.

“Interruption. Doors opening.”

“Did you forget about that?” The man asked. He then chanted something in Karne that made the woman beneath Kaz shake.

That really ticks me off about elevator chases. Our elevators come with something, an electric eye beam or those “inner” doors as a safety things, something to work as a safety catch. They won’t close if that safety mechanism is engaged. Why do the cops or whoever is chasing whatever is being chased always forget that? The closing of elevator doors thing is false suspense.

Kaz swung an arm interrupting the chant and knocking the man’s wrist to the side. Pinning the weapon-wielding arm against the wall, he planted his knee right between the man’s legs. Not all humanoids had their genitals in that spot, but the Karne did. The man jerked and the blaster fired, burning a hole in the roof of the elevator shaft.

“Error 325,” the electronic voice spoke, “Maintenance has been contacted. We apologize for any inconvenience.” Something behind one of the plates popped and flashed. Smoke threaded through the air at the top of the car. “Fire detected. Please, vacate immediately. Halon release in five…”

The only thing scarier than a fire at sea is a fire in space. How much ya wanna bet Halon is gonna be standard? Or at least something like Halon. I once worked in a control room with a Halon fire retardant system. We had to go through special training just to know how quickly it would kill us. Dead before the paramedics would even think that someone might be trapped.

Kaz kneed the man one more time before whipping away from him.

“Four…”

She short-stepped her clothing and rolled out of the elevator.

“Three…”

Kaz grabbed the pistol and hammer fisted the nape of the man’s neck.

“Emergency closing.” The doors hissed. “Two…”

Kaz sprung out of the elevator.

The doors closed just as the voice announced, “One.”

The emergency closing overrides the safety mechanism. If you’re stuck between the doors during an emergency closing, you’re screwed. This also explains why the doors seem to close faster here than when our hero was wanting them to close.

Karne man? Dead. Dead as dead can be. If the species breathes the same air as Kaz, a human, there’s no way they’re going to survive a Halon filled elevator car. He is go-straight-to-dead-Do-not-pass-Go-Do-not-collect-$200.00 dead.

He stared at his cup. Frost formed along the bottom rim. “Damn…” he mumbled. This wouldn’t be safe to open for a while. At least he still had it. Glancing at her, he held out a hand to help her to her feet.

Now that he wasn’t distracted by the blaster pistol, he tried to recall the feel of her in his arms. Memory failed him. All he could remember was that high pitched whine of the gun.

Stupid gun. What gave it the right to thieve the sensation of her in his arms? Still something poked at his mind as not being quite right.

Another clue that she may not be as she appears to be.

She took his hand and together they rushed toward the second commercial shaft. Fire alarms screamed around the hall and red lights pulsed, indicating that the Halon hadn’t contained the fire.

Did I forget about the pistol he grabbed? Yep, I sure did. He needs to do something with it before she can take his hand.

Karne man? Still dead. Dead, dead, dead. Lifeless. Finished. Dead. This just means the fire spread into non-elevator car areas…ya know…like the shaft and stuff. There’s probably Halon going off all up and down that shaft. Oh, if I wanted I could come up with some way that he’d still be alive, but that’s so freaking clichéd. Besides, with the Karne, I don’t need any particular one of them alive to do what I want to do.

It’d be a long time before he could show his face here again. If ever. But, at least he had her and his Cream Soda.

I’m not sure if I’m going to keep this a chapter or put it with what I have for the second chapter. Chapters in ebooks tend to be much shorter than yaoi fans are accustomed to. Hmm… thinking about this.

So that’s the first chapter and a little bit of how I self-edit. When we return we’ll do some more of this.

Books Meme

2007-09-04T12:51:00.000-05:00

KM Frontian tagged me.

1) How many books do I own?

A few years ago when I last boxed up all of my books for a move, I had over fifty boxes of books. If you want to know how many I have now, you come over and count them. I know I haven't beaten Bernita with her 5,000, but I must be close to KM's 200. A goodly amount are non-fiction, but I'm not really sure what the percentage is. Hubby is a big fiction reader and I'm the non-fiction dork.

2) The last book I read?

I will refrain from mentioning the one I'm currently trying to read, but I manage to bitch about it more than read it. The last print fiction book I read was Pleasure Dome (yaoi manga). The last ebook I read was Kay's The Legacy and I haven't finished it. I bought it, started reading it, fell in love with it and my computer crashed. From here on out all ebooks are going straight to my flashdrive. I need to download it again Chip/LAP gives you five downloads per purchase in the event you lose your copy like I did.

3) Top Ten Favorite Books.

(in no particular order)

1) Xanth Series.
2) Myth Series.
3) Synonym Finder
4) The Pictoral Guide to the Kama Sutra
5) The Encyclopedia of Superstitions
6) Saiyuki Series (manga)
7) My Edgar Allan Poe anthology
8) A Child Called It
9) Encyclopedia of Serial Killers
10) The Ultimate Guide to Gay Sex

Geez...there are so many more that I adore!

Ok, now to tag people.

Jose Bogran, Jon, Oh bother...anyone who wants to do it just do it. LOL!

Goals—progress update.

2007-09-02T22:23:00.000-05:00

While doing the tags on this blog, I noticed where I posted goals for this year. I thought I’d check in with them and see how I’m doing.

I earned three writing contracts in 2006. In 2007, I’d like to see a minimum of six.

Status…we’re not doing so good here. I’ve signed two contracts this year and those weren’t ebooks. However shorts are good, right? This goal got jumbled partly due to my fault and partly not. Lady Aibell had some technical problems that slowed things way down and I spent my time focusing on those titles and About to Sin instead of working on my WIPs. I was afraid of over-committing myself. I’m new and I don’t want to sign on the line unless I know I can deliver by deadline. I erred on the side of caution with this and it may or may not end up biting me on my ass. I could have more titles coming out, but would they have been rush jobs?

Do not lose another friendship.

So far so good! As a matter of fact, I’ve gained some friends this year and I think a few of them are going to turn out of be really dear and close friends.

Take better care of myself.

So far so good! I’ve been going to the doctor when I need to. I also took the surgery option for a definitive solution to one of my ailments. I’m being more careful about what I eat and I’m, in general, taking better care of myself. Oh, did I mention I’ve lost and kept off over 40lbs? According to one scale, I’ve lost and kept off 50 lbs. According to another one, I’m still at the 40. Which would be correct? The one at the hospital or the one at my doctor’s office?

Work more diligently with a writing career. Now that I know that this is a real option for me, I need to make it work and work to make it.

So far so good! I’m staying up on networking, promo, marketing, professional development and I am making progress with titles even though I’m not making as much progress as I’d like.

Take more time for friends and family.

So far so good! I’d been spending so much time devoted to writing that I thought my marriage was beginning to suffer a bit. Hubby and I are doing wonderfully and it doesn’t seem to be really cutting into my writing time too much. Do I dare say it? Have I come close to finding balance between my work life and home life?

I’m still gonna gun for more contracts, but I think I’m doing pretty darn good!

Whew.

2007-09-02T22:10:00.000-05:00

I neglected the tags (AKA Labels) for this blog. I've gone back and added them to non-bunk posts. I'm still working on the next part of the Writing Process series, but at least you now have tags to use to find anything you may want to find, right?

About to Sin: Updated

2007-08-30T23:21:00.000-05:00

For everyone who has been waiting for an "aww moment" you're getting one. Of course, I wrote this so it also comes with a bitch-slapping moment. Either way, I hope you enjoy what I think is one of the most heartwarming segments of this story.

If these two don't figure out a way of making this work, I'm going kick the author's ass. Oh...wait a minute...

http://www.eroticdreamspublishing.com/EroticDreams/

Wish me luck!

2007-08-30T16:49:00.000-05:00

This morning I subbed "Personal Demon" to ED for a special edition in January 2008.

One day in the life of one priest's struggle to find harmony in a life of faith and carnal desires.

I went all out with the 9,000 words for this call of submission. And by “all out” I mean, I may have gone too far. I don’t think it’s too far for ED, because I don’t think I’m capable of writing something too far for them. They’re one of the most daring pubs out there and I think it’s their format that lets them take these kinds of risks. However, this story is way too far for most publishers.

In this title, I hope I’ve really captured the struggle of temptation and what’s not to like about priest in a cassock being tempted by a deacon in liturgical clothing inside the kitchen of the church while waiting for the bishop to show up? I mean…come ON it doesn’t get any better than that! (Or worse than that, depending on how you look at it.)

Ok, that’s not really enough judge the story is it?

In 9,000 words, I covered these fetishes: Religious themes, candle play, water play (not golden), autoerotic S&M, D/s, food play, temperature play, spanking and something with a rubber band that I'm not sure what to call other than non-binding CBT.

Yep, I’m going to hell. And, yes, I ate a celebratory cookie.

Oh, but to make my ticket to hell an express one. I have the deacon tempting the priest with a strawberry while the priest wonders if the tree had been planted in the garden for a reason. Come on…do I have to spell it out any clearer than THAT? Ok, fine, does it help hammer the point home if I tell you the priest refers to the deacon as his personal apple? I feel creatively evil when I think of this wicked little story. (Secretly hopes God curves the test scores when it comes to fiction.)

With a beginning like this…

He was not a kind lover to himself. He knew this. The acknowledgement didn’t make him stop, but…well…there’s something to be said for knowing one’s sins.

…if you’re not expecting kink, then you don’t know erotica. Basically, this story let me ask and answer what would happen if Anand gave Daniel everything Daniel thought he wanted. No, these characters aren’t Anand and Daniel, but I wanted to toy with someone who didn’t have the limitations that Anand has.

Here’s the berry temptation bit (author-only editing):

The smell of cologne returned and a strawberry appeared before Father Blake’s nose. The deep red skin promised sweetness. At least they’d decided to not include apple slices on the fruit tray.

“Try one. They’re quite good.” Gianni inched the strawberry closer to Blake’s lips.

With just the coolness from the berry registering to his skin, Father Blake turned his head to face the pursuer he didn’t want to evade. “This isn’t wise, Gianni.”

“It’s just a berry, Blake.” Gianni turned his hand and bit off the tip of the strawberry. A mist of juice settled upon his lips as he chewed it exactly twice before swallowing. The tip of his tongue traced the bite mark and dipped into the center of the fruit.

Blake’s knees nearly betrayed him.

“Just a…” Gianni returned the berry to Blake’s lips. “…a berry. A sweet one.”

The edge of the bite mark traced Blake’s lips. The sweet aroma of the fruit filled his nostrils. The tree had been planted in the garden for a reason, right? For the life of him, Father Blake couldn’t remember why. Liquid sweetness from the berry slicked across his lips. When he darted his tongue out to taste the residue, his tongue tagged the side of the berry.

Gianni, apparently, wouldn’t let that slip by.

The dimpled skin of the strawberry slid between Blake’s lips. Equal amounts of tart and sweet put a tang upon his tongue. With his eyes locked with Gianni’s, he pushed his tongue into the hollow of the berry, mashing the fruit’s flesh as he tasted it. Juice from the berry flooded his mouth and dribbled over his lips to his chin. The actual taste of the strawberry barely registered to his mind, but he knew this had to be the best tasting strawberry of his life.

Gianni’s fingers, still holding the top of the fruit, pressed against Blake’s lips. Drawing his tongue back, Blake took the berry deeply into his mouth. The fruit split upon his tongue as he crushed it against the roof of his mouth. Father Blake closed his eyes.

Twice in half as many days, the serpent bit him.

Tiny seeds crunched between Blake’s molars as he snatched Gianni’s wrist. Pulp slid on the back of his tongue when he kissed Gianni’s palm. The tip of his nose tucked between two fingers and he swallowed what remained in his mouth. Before he realized what he was doing, he licked the center crease of the Gianni’s palm. His tongue roamed and pushed as if it were trying to find more fruit. Opening his eyes, he found his vision flanked by Gianni’s fingers and filled with the light gleaming off the deacon’s cross lapel pin on the open black blazer.

Wincing, he pushed the hand away and cut his eyes up. Why now? Caught in a choke-hold by his burden, he sputtered, “Kiss me.”

I hope ED accepts this story. It’s gonna be tough to find another publisher who lets me push the envelope like I have with this one.

The biggest problem with this story was merging the first 1200 words with the rest. This story started out as a very short one shot that was very smoke and mirrors and heavy with the symbolism. It’s not a voice I normally use and although I maintained the symbolism, I think I kind of dropped the ball on the voice a little bit. Then again, I may have not dropped the ball. The first 1200 words is just one character and it’s easy to let them get lost in their own thoughts and issues when that’s going on. So…well…we’ll see. I’m still giddy that I finished it on time and with what I think is damn good work.

In other news…

I just had my post-op follow up and I’m healing just fine. No infections and no worries. I intend on getting back into the writing process series tonight. Hopefully, I'll have a post ready shortly for that.

Home

2007-08-23T16:03:00.000-05:00

I'm home and doing better than expected. The surgery went very well even if it did take a bit longer than expected. I'm groggy and in pain, but this is nothing compared to the bikini cut I went through last time. Yippie for me! And only one night in the hospital this time! Yippie again!

Big hugs,

Cupnjava

Surgery Tomorrow

2007-08-21T21:49:00.000-05:00

I'll be going in for surgery tomorrow. My hospital stay is expect to be 1-3 days. I'll continue the writing process series when I'm functional again. I don't want to write pain-meds-infected bunk just to make a post. I will post when I'm home so that everyone will know I'm all right.

The Writing Process: Q& A Break.

2007-08-11T23:01:00.000-05:00

I’m going to take a moment and address some of the questions I’ve been asked.

How do I organize the information gained during research?

This depends on the information. If it’s a website that I don’t anticipate fading into oblivion, I’ll bookmark it (medical information used for Byron in Full Circle, parts of Canonical Law for About to Sin, etc). If I’m afraid the information will go away, I’ll copy and paste the information into a Word document and include the url at the top of the document. If it’s a factoid from a book I own (the blood type in Full Circle, Bob’s and Phineas’s back stories in Full Circle, raven folklore, etc) I’ll put a piece of paper to mark the spot in the book and keep the book by my desk. If it’s some kind of formal document, such as the Vatican’s instructions for the pastoral care of homosexual persons, the Pope’s statements about homosexuals in the priesthood and so on, I’ll save a copy of the document in the same folder as all the files associated with the story. If it’s information gained during an interview with a person (i.e. a “former” priest I spoke to who left the priesthood after having an affair with an adult male (heartbreaking story), technical information that can only be held by the people who’ve been through it, etc) I’ll save all the e-mails. If it’s information from a phone conversation, I’ll write notes in a notebook and often have to call or e-mail them for clarification.

Why do all of this reasearch for an erotic story?

I believe that there needs to be a certain amount of fact to make the fiction believable. I also don’t believe that writing erotica is “slumming it”. Readers who happen to enjoy reading graphically depicted sex deserve a good story.

How would I deal if I can’t figure out how to start a story?

If the “flashes of scenes” I get about a story are not the start of it, I do nothing until I work backwards in my mind to the first word of the story. This is why I have nothing typed up on my catboy story. I want to do a catboy story and I know how the middle is going to play out, but I don’t know the first scene. So, it sits in plotbunny form until it decides to play nice with the others.

If I know the first scene, but not the first word, then writing discipline comes into play. I’ll do a few things to help me think. What’s the tone of the scene? I’ll play a song or group of songs that match the tone of the scene. I’ll use logic to figure out what’s going on in the scene and try to deduce the starting sentence. I’ll paint my nails to give me a mental break from staring at the blinking cursor. If worst comes to worst, I’ll work on something else and play a trick on myself. I’ll deny myself the joy of working on the new story until I really, really, REALLY want it and my mind is cooperating. This kind of hitch rarely happens to me when it comes to the first scene. I’ll usually leave a story in plotbunny form until I’m ready to start typing. This is the kind of thing that will happen to me in the middle or end of a story.

How do I go about character design?

There’s some of that in the previous installments and I’ll be showing more in future blog posts. I think what this person is really seeking is some kind of list or step by step process that I go through.

I’m sorry. I don’t do it like that. My character design is haphazard and backwards. Sometimes I’ll have things written before I know the details.

I’ve been asked to use About to Sin as an example for this. I can’t talk about specifics with Father Daniel right now, because there’s something coming up in the next installment that’s pretty important and I don’t want to spoil it.

But, here’s how I did it. About to Sin started as a short one-shot. I wanted a priest and a doctor together. Father Daniel is a Roman Catholic priest and that alone gives me a lot of back story. I wrote the first installment not expecting to write any more, so I just went with the guilt and shame aspects of feeling the need to do something like he did. When I turned it into a series, I had to start asking myself all sorts of questions. (Note: Questions only at this stage)

Why would someone want to become a priest? Why would Father Daniel want to become a priest? What has to happen to become a priest? Why would a good solid priest seek out what he sought that Friday night? What is he running from? What is he running toward? How old was he when he entered the seminary? Did he realize he was gay at the time? What kind of family would he come from? Are they supportive of his desire to be a priest? When he became ordained did he realize he was gay? What kind of crap had to be fed to him for him to view his sexuality as he does? Is he really a good priest? Obviously, he’s closeted from his family, but would they accept him being gay? Why is he trying so damn hard to be what he thinks is a good priest instead of being himself and letting his inner goodness manifest via his priestly functions?

For Anand, I asked myself these questions:

What makes someone so confident and happy with their sexuality? Does his family accept his homosexuality? Why did he leave Hinduism? Why did he become a doctor? What made him so jaded and reluctant to love? Why is he circumcised? (That question will make sense when you read further into the story.) Where are his parents now? How many sisters does he have? Is he the only boy in the family? If so, how do his parents deal with their only son being gay? Why…for goodness’ sakes…does he pay so much lip service to being selfish when it’s obvious that he’s not? Is the real reason he attended mass for six month just to ogle the sexy priest or is he seeking something more? Is he with Father Daniel only because Father Daniel is a priest or does that just add a sprinkle of kink on the relationship for him? I think it’s pretty obvious from the first installment that he gets off on the priest thing. Is this healthy for the relationship? Why is he a man-slut? Is he REALLY a man-slut?

Basically, I start with what I have written or what’s in the flashes of scenes and then I use a mixture of logic and psychology to figure out what happened to make them the way we are. It’s nature AND nurture. Furthermore, I may never answer all of those questions in the manuscript. I’ll eventually know all of the answers, but if I can’t naturally get them into a scene, then they stay in my mind. Also, answers will often lead to new questions. It sounds like a cop out, but I really do have the characters answer these things. I look at their behavior, dialog and narrative for clues. Narrative isn’t exactly the word I want for this sentence, but my mind is drawing a blank. >.<

Some writers will work their character designs before they type the first word. I work my character designs as I write and usually end up having to go back to the beginning of a story and flesh it out and change it to fit what I’ve learned about the character. This works for me, I think. It allows me to reveal the characters in bite-sized pieces and helps me resist an infodump of back story. I know that the reader needs to know X before the importance of Z scene will register. I don’t like infodumps, so I’ll try to sneak in bits of back story as they become relevant to the scene.

What are some of my turn-offs for plot elements?

I don’t like having a character wake up and it’s all been a dream. That seems like plot abortion to me. (Yes, the phrase “plot abortion” is a real writing phrase.) It also feels like tricking the reader. Don’t get me wrong, for some stories dreams are necessary, but I try to let the reader know it’s a dream or at least make the dream an important part of the story not just *POOF* “Well, that’s done, now where are my car keys?” It’s like hitting a big reset button for a story and I don’t like that. If you’ve written yourself into a corner either write your way out of it or edit your story.

I don’t like arbitrary ticking clocks in a story.

Example:

Thaddeus, a vampire, is on a quest to reclaim his mortality. He needs the kiss of a true love to do it and it must be done by the light of next full moon or he’s forever doomed to be a vampire.

Oh gag me. What’s so special about the next full moon that’s so critical to changing him back into human? Oh…that’s right…that’s when the annual meeting of the High Vampire Council happens and the power generated by them all being in the same room eating off the buffet and discussing the Vampiric politics marks that moon as being special.

I have a hard time believing that, but fine. What about the next moon during their next meeting?

Well, that won’t be for another 150 years!

Oh gag me. If the council only meets every 150 years, what’s the point of the council? How much power can they really wield if they meet so infrequently? WTF do they DO? And if they really want to help Thaddeus become a mortal again, couldn’t they hold a special meeting? And Thaddeus is immortal. If he misses this window, his ass can wait.

Besides, what’s so flipping powerful about the kiss of a true love? Don’t get me wrong, I can appreciate the romantic element here, even if I do feel it’s heavy-handed. If you want me to put that much weight into a kiss of a “true love”, “young man”, or “fair maiden” you’d better being doing a different/modern/gay/etc version of Sleeping Beauty or explain why it’s so powerful.

I’ve seen this plot or a version of it in a lot of books and movies. I usually spend the time watching the movie or reading the book wondering if this is the only way the author could think of to put a sense of urgency in the story. The sad part, in my eyes, is that this plot element shows up in some popular stories.

If you’re going to have a “once in a life time chance” make sure it really is once in a lifetime. Planets and other heavenly bodies run in cycles. The three moons of Zarnon will line up in the southern sky more than once.

This example also plucks on one of my pet peeves when it comes to vampires. Why do they angst so much about being vampires? Perpetually young and beautiful. Perpetually healthy if they behave themselves. Extra long lives that will help them generate wealth and glorious surroundings. Fangirls and fanboys who want to be feeders for the thrill of it all. And some how, letting humanity be a state of mind instead of a state of being isn’t enough for them. Whatever. Show me a character with real problems, please. I know there are some very popular vamp writers who do this vampire angst thing, but I still don’t understand it.

Another turn off I have is what I’ve nicknamed “The Kung-Fu cop out.” The bad guys have spent the whole story being bad guys. They destroy villages, cheat, lie, steal, rape, kick kittens, and dog-ear corners in books. And yet! One good ass kicking from the hero and—PRESTO—everything is a perfect world again. The sun comes out, any still breathing bad guys change their ways, the hero kisses the cute little number who was the leader of the bad guys’ girl, kittens purr and all the villages forget they were destroyed. Ah…happy ending all around.

Bleh!

By all means give me the showdown with the bad guy and let the hero kick some ass, but realize a broken nose or chopped off head won’t solve the problems caused by the bad guy JUST prevent THAT bag guy from doing more damage.

This Q& A took longer than I expected. I’ll get back to the writing process with the next installment. By all means, feel free to ask questions.

Full Circle rankings! Awesome news!

2007-08-08T23:23:00.000-05:00

I’m so utterly blown away by this!

Under the erotica category on Fictionwise, Full Circle is ranked 52 out 3,675 titles! I know some people might scoff at 52, but I’m amazed by this. This is my FIRST book and it’s only been released for 2 1/2 weeks!

Now for what has me BLOWN away. In the rankings for all of the titles my publisher (Chip/LAP) has listed with Fictionwise, Full Circle is ranked NUMBER ONE!

Yes, you did read that right. NUMBER ONE!

I’m floored. So totally and completely floored.

I thank my readers for this. If it weren’t for your love and support, I would have never had the courage to try to be published. Thank you all for cheering for me!

Live Chat-tomorrow.

2007-08-08T12:52:00.000-05:00

There's going to be a live chat with Lady Aibell authors in the Pink Posse Chatroom tomorrow starting at 8pm (that's central time). Here's the link.

http://www.thepinkposse.net/chatroom.html

I'm not sure which other authors will be there, but I will be.

The Writing Process: Part Two Vague Plot

2007-08-06T06:01:00.000-05:00

Disclaimer: Every writer is different. Every story is different. My process for this story may not work for you, but I hope you find it helpful.

When we left off last time, I said we were going to get into massaging a plot. At this point, I take my cast of characters, drop them in to metaphorical bucket and watch to see what happens.

I'm not kidding.

Ok, I'll put it in more concrete terms—I mull it about in my mind. One of two things will happen here. One is nothing. If nothing happens, this story stays in plotbunny form until the characters decide to talk to me or I get a few paragraphs written and it sits there collecting dust. To date my shortest WIP is 353 words (earlier I told Marbles 500 and I was mistaken.) Those 353 words consist of a bungling mage, a wannabe knight, a faerie screaming in terror, a sister who is now a toad and a sentient candle with an attitude. "Just long enough to not be bleeding" has been the last line of that story for MONTHS.

The other thing that might happen is that I'll get flashes of scenes. Note: I have not yet tried to control or guide anything. I'm waiting for the characters to talk to me. Sometimes I'll type out these flashes and sometimes I'll let them sit in my head.

What I WON'T do is actually write out the scenes. If I satisfy my itch to get to a certain scene, I'll kill my motivation to write everything that leads up to it. This is a quirk I know about myself. Additionally, I write linearly or sequentially. This means I start at the beginning and I write the scenes in order all the way to the end. I do not bounce around. Some writers can bounce around and write whatever scene is itching their minds, but that confuses the heck out of me. I've even met writers who use the old note card system and, whoa boy, that's way too much organization for me. Have you seen my sock drawer? I'm not an organized person in my day to day life thus my creative process isn't organized.

If something is going on in my life and it will be a while before I'll get to the Pet WIP of the Month, I'll write out the flashes. These are VERY rough and look like this…

(Speaking through a communication implant.)

“Maintenance is about done, Kaz, you almost ready? We’ve got a job.”

“What’s this job? Who are we after?”

“We have some crates we’re taking to…”

“Crates? We’re bounty hunters not cargo runners!”

“It pays well.”

“Fine. What’s in the crates?”

“We’re being paid enough to not ask that question.”

“Better not be biohazard or I’m kicking your ass when you grow another head.”

~~

“Enron! Enron!”

“If you knew the history of that, you wouldn’t call your accountant by that name.”

“Start the engines!”

“Oh god, you picked up another stray, didn’t you?”

“I’ll remember your ‘no stray’ rule the next time I see someone running from a casino. Start the damn engines!”

~~

“And one more space station to add to our banned list.”

“Damn it. I liked that one. They had clean bathrooms.”

~~

“You stole a Karne woman! Idiot! The whole fucking species will be after us!”

“If you can’t handle it, Grease, I’ll have to get another co-pilot.”

“Those sand monsters won’t best me.” Grease shrugged tossing her braids over her shoulders. Going after her pride was always the best choice. “They won’t best me and they won’t out run my wrench.” She took her seat and handled the control stick like she needed a moment alone. “Besides, we can always use someone to do some cooking and cleaning around here.”

“I didn’t pull her out of slavery just to put her back into it.” Kaz wondered if he could train her to handle the weapons. She probably wouldn’t name one of them and run off in hopes of marrying it. Probably—but who would have seen that coming the first time?

~~

Apparently Kawosky's original name was Kaz. Ya know, I like Kaz better. It sounds more "spacey" to me.

But this gives me a vague idea of the plot. 1) Kaz has to steal Ryir. 2) They get banned from a spaces station. 3) The Karne will be coming after them. 4) They have a job to do. 5) Kaz and Ryir need to have hot sex and fall in love (all together now…Awww…) 6) Everyone thinks Ryir IS A WOMAN.
Now, I start asking myself questions.

1) What's the job?
2) Where's the job taking them?
3) How can I make the job worse?
4) What has to happen that makes it logical for Kaz to kidnap someone without making Kaz look like the badguy?
5) What's the situation that would allow someone as repressed and sheltered as Ryir be in a position to have contact with Kaz?

Now, I mull these over in my head and play a small active role in guiding the plot. That small active role is logic. What logically has to happen for X to happen? What can make this believable even if it's not probable? (Honestly, how much in fiction is truly probable?) A why is my brain freaking trying to pound its way out of my skull?

Two Aleve, several hours and minus one headache later…

Now the job. What do I already know about it? 1) It's a cargo job. 2) The customer wants this to be kept a secret. People are usually protective about contraband. What kinds of things are contraband? Weapons, drugs, pornography, body parts, some medicines, and things involving the slave trade.

(Side note: As I'm reflecting upon this, I think I missed something really funny here. I looked at what would be contraband for my time and my world. This story is set in the future and I should have had them go through a really dangerous situation for something stupid like Jell-O, stuffed bunnies or dirty jock straps.)

We want some danger with this to add some excitement to the story. So, I've decided that first round of mystery cargo will be guns. The second round will be medicines. What would need both of those? A war zone. So, now our "questionable" crew that has no weapons officer will be traveling through a war zone while being chased by the Karne. If I can't find a good story in there, I might as well hang up my keyboard.

Why two rounds of cargo? I figure with the Karne after them, they won't go near Karne space unless they have to. The only way to make them is to have them deliver some goods just to find out the final payment comes at the end. The destination which is through…oh my Kaz…Grease is going to beat you senseless.

So we now have three plot lines. 1) The job. 2) The Karne are out after them. 3) the love story. What can I do to weave these together? Make the job travel through Karne space and use the close quarters of the ship as well as Kaz's sucker for a hard luck story character trait and Ryir's view of seeing himself as property to start the "love" aspect of the story. Eww…that sounds unhealthy. No one wants to see an unhealthy relationship between the sexy protagonists, right? So, I need something that will allow me to show Kaz screwing up (romantically) in a charming way and trying to coax Ryir into independence while showing Ryir forgiving Kaz's screw ups while appreciating the attentions of someone who cares.

At this point, I start getting more flashes of scenes, but they're too detailed and too dependent upon what comes before them to write them out. I need to hold them in my head and work my way toward them. This is where I'll differ from many other writers. Some would go a head and write those scenes. For those writers my way of working doesn't work.

If you notice, my plot lines are really vague, but I'm not worried about that. I'll flesh it out as I write it, rewrite it and rewrite it and rewrite it and… My character designs aren't all that specific either. I ain't worried. Alvaro started as…"the blond one who knows a lot."

To recap, we now have some rough character designs and three plotlines.

Next stop on the writing process, we'll hit the writing phase.

By the way, FEEL FREE to ask me questions. This is my process and I'm not accustomed to explaining it. I've probably skipped a few things. I want this to feel like a dialog between us and not a lecture.

The Writing Process: Part One the Preliminaries

2007-08-04T03:56:00.000-05:00

It seems that people like the idea of me sharing my writing process and I think it will be fun for me too. So, over the next few blog posts, you’ll be able to see how it is that I write a story.

Every writer is different. Every story is different. My process may not be your process, but you’ll get the chance to see my errors (even ones I don’t see) and, hopefully, we’ll both learn something.

The story I’m going to be using is a WIP (Work In Progress) and I’m handling that story the way I’m handling these blog posts: I don’t know where it’s going, but we’ll see. I’ve not courted any publishers with this WIP and I don’t even have a title for it yet.

So…

The Writing Process: Part One…

This story started with an itch of an idea. I wanted to do something with a eunuch and I also wanted to work with a little bit of politics, gender persecution and sexual oppression. (And some people just realized erotica writing isn’t all about the sex.) One day, the idea of blending those two itches came to me and that generated another host of thinking.

Now I start adding layers to what I want to do with this piece and always keep in mind my audience.

1) I want to do a story with a eunuch.

2) I want to figure out why it’s “a eunuch” and not “an eunuch” according to Word—better check on that.

3) I want to work with the heavy political issues that are actually a commentary on the Taliban’s treatment of women. That’s the REAL point of this piece. I want to express some of my views about the Taliban, but fiction is not a preacher’s pulpit. This isn’t church and leave the preaching in there. So, I have to handle this in a way so that it feels like a story and not political or religious propaganda.

4) I write m/m and my readers expect m/m. That’s going to make having a female romantic lead a little difficult.

5) And to further deter me from preaching to my readers, I’m going to aim for humor. I think this will work for me. I’ll be presenting heavy topics, but in a way that’s easy for the reader to handle. I won’t be bludgeoning the reader with a big o’le “This is wrong!” stick, but I’ll be showing the readers a section of the characters’ lives and let the readers come up with their own ethical decisions.

Using a eunuch—a third gender—is how hope to blend everything I want with what my readers expect in this piece.

But, how can I talk about the Taliban without talking about the Taliban? I’m rather familiar with the Taliban from a feminist perspective, but, to be totally honest, I ain’t that motivated to do all the research I need to do to give the story an air of authenticity. Sure, I’ve read reports and case studies. Yes, my anthropological studies help me here, but I really don’t want to add a lot to my work load. So, I decided to make it about the Taliban without making it about the Taliban. I’ve created a new race and that’s the Karne.

Now, how can I make the main point of this even less obvious (thus deter myself from getting on a soapbox) and explain that I have a race that doesn’t exist? If I set it in contemporary Earth (which is by far the easiest setting for me work with) then I have this whole “who are the Karne” thing rattling around in the reader’s head. No. That’s unacceptable. I don’t want to risk anyone’s willing suspension of disbelief and I don’t want to distract the reader with unnecessary questions. I have two choices. I can do the Robert Aspirin and Piers Anthony thing and create a whole fantasy universe or I can do the Gene Rodenberry thing and make it sci-fic. I’m a trekkie from back in the day, so, I fast forward into the future and drop the plot inside “speculative fiction.” Speculative fiction is basically sci-fi.

Ok, so we have our setting now: outer space at some point in the future. We have our genre labels: m/m erotic humor sci-fi or yaoi humor sci-fi. And I’d like to shoot for a short novel with this one so we’re targeting somewhere around 50K words. That’s Full Circle’s length.

Now, I need to gather some information about eunuchs. I’m a m/m erotica author. Specifically, I’m a yaoi writer. My readers don’t want to read about a Ken doll. What exactly is castration? What functions remain in castrated males and what doesn’t? What body parts remain and which don’t? What are the visuals I’ll be working with when it comes to the erotic scenes?

I don’t personally know any eunuchs. My friendship circle includes a vast selection of fetishes, but that’s not one of them. So, I hit historical documents. After reading what helped me only a little bit, I hit the modern day eunuchs. I haunt the boards, read their stories (fiction and nonfiction). I e-mail them and talk to them. And here’s where I learn there are a multitude of forms of castration. Also, the type and the timing of the surgery as well as any hormone treatments after the surgery affects what functions and which body parts remain. This is also where I learn what physiological effects happen in castrated males.

(Sidenote: Before I started writing, I never confused affect and effect. Now, I no longer trust myself and question it every time I write it. Affect is the verb. Effect is the noun. X affects Y and that end result is effect. When you affect something you have an effect on it. *sweatdrop*)

[Another sidenote: With a few notable exceptions, if you tell people you’re a fiction writer working on a story, they’ll be glad to tell you just about anything. Most people in fringe groups (fetishists included) are sick to death of writers getting things about their lives wrong and will jump at the chance to help. I’m always upfront and honest when I’m doing research for a story. ]

Now, I start picking what I want for this character. I do not want a penectomy. I want this character to have a penis—that’s kind of important for my m/m readers. However, as I was doing the research on eunuchs, I read a beautiful description of the male anatomy without testicles. That visual stuck with me. That’s the visual of this character’s genitalia that I want. So, I want a eunuch who can still function in bed. This character will be the uke so I don’t need to worry about reliable erections that can be used for penetration, but I do want both characters to enjoy any sexual activities.

He needs to keep enough testosterone in his system to achieve an erection, climax (if treated well) and enjoy the experience of sex. After talking to some eunuchs, I learned all of these are fairly common, but not with the regularity of an intact male. One eunuch I spoke to said that he achieves about two orgasms a year, but sill enjoys sexual play and contact even if he doesn’t climax. Another said about two a quarter and another said it all depended upon how his top treated him. A few, due to hormone treatments, have noticed very little change in their libido and sexual response. Some of those who have very few orgasms a year report having extremely powerful (to the point of almost entering seizures and blackouts) orgasms. IF I give my character the right procedure, I’m covered when it comes to sexual play.

I also need to keep in mind my readers. Us yaoi fans love our fluids—that’s evident in our artwork and stories. Eunuchs tend to have thinner and more watery ejaculates, but that should satisfy the yaoi fan’s need for fluids. However, I ran into a hitch. Eunuchs who do not get hormone replacements will experience a shrinking of the prostate as well as penile tissue. Sometimes this will happen even with hormone replacement therapy.

And, there’s something I can’t figure out. Prostate massages will produce a good deal of fluid on a healthy and normal prostate, but how will that change if the prostate has shrunk due to a lack of testosterone? However, I’m not going to let that keep me from the story.

Luckily, I’ve set this story in the future and this character isn’t human. So that gives me some cheating…I mean…wiggle room. All I need to do is come up with a procedure that will mimic castration, but not leave the character impotent and asexual.

Also as part of this research I watched a lot of live action porn (mainly amateur) and made note of how many men lose their erections while bottoming and yet still seem to have a satisfying experience. (A lot more than yaoi fans ever consider.)

So after some research, I’ve figured out what needs to be altered on this character and what doesn’t. I’ve figured out what organs need to stay intact, what kind of procedure has been done and when it was done, how to explain the surgery to the reader and how to explain why this is done within Karne culture.

Medical research? Done (at least for now.)

Honestly, think about it, I’m going to be talking about a procedure that doesn’t exist, on an alien race that doesn’t exist in a time frame that hasn’t happened yet—do I really need to worry about if someone is going nitpick on whether or not my eunuch can have a cum shot? No. I wasted months of writing time by over-thinking this. And yet, I’m still concerned that readers won’t accept this character in a sexual situation.

After a few months of working on this story, I now have a setting, one partial character design, one partial race design and not a single word written. I consider this good progress for a story like this. Oh yeah…and no plot. That doesn’t bother me yet. A lot of writers start with a plot and sometimes I will start with a plot, but not with this story. Actually, I rarely start with a plot. I usually start with a flash of a scene and have to work out the plot from there.

Now to flesh out the character design a little bit more. For this eunuch character I’m dealing with a character who has been surgically altered and lived in a repressive environment. Logically, we should be talking about a shy and withdrawn character. We’re probably dealing with some Battered Wife Syndrome and maybe some Stockholm Syndrome. This is a person who will be very submissive, flinch when unexpected gestures are made and cower at raised voices. This will be the TOT of the story. At this point, this character has not been named which I think I will do so now. I also need to keep in mind that once this character has a taste of freedom and security they MIGHT go a little bit wild.

I’m going to spare you the details of this, but here’s how I go about naming characters. My first destinations are the baby naming sites. The majority of my character names are picked due to origin, meaning and decades of popularity. I never expect the readers to look up my character names, but it’s something I do for myself. This did not help me in this case. My next stop is a random name generator. If I’m still not happy, I’ll try to blend a name from the “meaning list” with the “random list.” Then, I’ll go to friends and ask for suggestions.

Marbles suggested Souja for this character and I really appreciate her suggestion. I was going to go with that until I saw Souja typed next to the seme’s name. That’s information Marbles didn’t have and I think that combination was a little hard on the eyes. Also the longer I looked at the name Souja the more feminine it felt. Yes, this character is effeminate and he is a eunuch, but I don’t want a really feminine name. A little feminine, sure, but if I’m making the reader struggle to keep a male face in their heads when they see the name, then I’m not writing properly.

I also need to eliminate any names that start with the same letter as any other prominent character. You don’t want your reader getting confused and asking, “Which one was Kan and which one was Kai?” So, I can’t have anything that begins with K,V,G, or E.

So now I start all over again. I need something that smells of Arab connections, but not too much. The random name generator gave me this one Ryririr. That’s too busy and I’ll never remember how to spell it, but I like the spirit of that name. Ryir. “Rye-ear” Ryir. It has that sneaky hint of a Middle Eastern connection and it’s masculine, but not alpha male masculine. Hell, it’s not even beta male masculine. It could easily be a woman’s name.

The character’s full name is Ryir of the house Tijoh. (This took way too many hours.)

Now, I need a seme who can make everything all better for Ryir as well as draw him out of the abusive cycle. I need a seme who can bring Ryir out from behind his shell of hurt and abuse. I have already partially designed this seme. He’s a dreamer type who is too quick to give away his heart (after working so much with Anand’s reluctance to love, I wanted to work on different type. Also Ryir is not the type to pursue a lover and I need someone who is WHOOSH infatuated and can chase Ryir.) He’s a sucker for lost causes and has a sarcastic and dry sense of humor. He’s got a strong ethical code and tends to do what he feels is the right thing even if it hurts himself. Note: What he thinks is the right thing may or may not be what the reader or I think is the right thing. He’s kind and caring, but clueless. By clueless, I don’t mean Too Stupid To Live because no one likes TSTL heroes (especially publishers).I mean the man has been in what he thinks is love more times than he can count, but hasn’t a clue as to about how courtship goes. In short, he’s in love with the idea of being in love. He also thinks he’s a bad boy, but he’s totally not. That character’s name is…well…what he tells everyone his name is: Kawosky.

The main pairing of this story will be Kawosky and Ryir.

Kawosky can’t handle a ship by himself. So, I need some side characters.

We need a money guy, because Kawosky is too much of a dreamer to handle that. We need a doctor, because that’s specialized information and this character will also be the “brain” of the group. (Kind of like how Alvaro is the brain of Full Circle and Hakkai is the brain of Saiyuki. If the reader needs a question answered the author can use the brain to answer it. Since the brain is the brain, the reader rarely wonders why the character knows that particular piece of information.) We also need a mechanic and “a heavy”. The heavy is the ass-kicker or co-ass-kicker of the group.

The accountant is nicknamed Enron. He hooked up with Kawosky while he was on the run from some casinos. He’s not human, but I’ve not completely figured out what kind of alien he is. I see him as a short rotund man with a bald head and John Lennon glasses. That’s not very yaoi and I may change that. I also need to check into the legalities of using the word “Enron.” Since the company is no longer in business, it shouldn’t be a problem. Since he’s the accountant, this can also fall under “parody” and thus be under “fair use”. He’s the record keeper of the group.

The doctor is Vesrod. He’s half-human and half Syhpris (a race that has serpent evolution). He’s hot. Tall and slender with reptilian eyes and I’m seriously thinking about a split tongue. I WANT the reader (and here’s where yaoi fans kick ass) to think there might have been something going on between Vesrod and Kawosky when the lightyears got a little too long. Vesrod is caring, compassionate and logical. The logical element will help me cover any potential jealousy issues when the new love interest comes into play.
He’s the bookworm type. I need to come up with something “misfit” as part of his story to make him fit in with this crew. Some kind of something that had his medical license revoked.

Grease is the mechanic, co-pilot and “the heavy”. She’s full blooded Trylock. I wanted a female in this role because I’m sick to death of wimpy women in fiction. She’s hot tempered and sassy. This is not a woman you want to piss off. She’s the tallest and broadest member of the crew. I see her race as a warrior race with dark skin and bits of boney “armor” over parts of the body. Her bones will be damn dense and her muscle tone bulky. She wears her hair in long braids. I don’t see her as a lesbian, but I also don’t see her letting something as minor as gender keeping her from getting what she wants.

With the preliminaries: I now have a target genre, a setting, and five partial character designs. However, I have nothing written and no solid plot.

Aside from naming Ryir, I had this stuff worked out months ago. The next time I post on this, I’ll get into how I work plot ideas.

August is Anal Sex Month!

2007-08-03T00:23:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Adam and Eve and a friend who forwarded me the e-mail, I've learned that August is anal sex month. A holiday started in 1927.

After a little searching I've found some goodies to share. These had me ROLLING!
You may have to click them to see them larger.

That last one kills me! And "explorer" kit with a 9" dildo. Yep! Because 9 inches is recomended for first time anal! LOL!

Play safe and sane and enjoy Anal Sex Month!

Full Circle release date!!

2007-07-19T16:22:00.001-05:00

And now, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you information we've been waiting for since August 2006…

(drum roll)

(Yes, I'm milking this for all it's worth)

Full Circle, the debut novel by I. M. Cupnjava, will be released TOMORROW! July 20, 2007! Link to publisher: Lady Aibell

Woohoo!!!

Blurb:

In a war-torn world a group of vampires struggle to reclaim their past glory. One of their own is missing. Weakened by solitude, the leader of the vampires, Kendrick, must find Byron, his covenant mate, before the pain of isolation kills them both. Locating Byron is the least of the vampires' problems.

The chaos of the world's death rattle breeds suffering, death and pestilence as well as a call for vengeance. The opposing sides of good and evil never looked so similar. A war that began with the dawn of time has enjoyed a respite. That respite is ending. Vampiric history, human history and the lives of two lovers are about to come full circle.

Here's the excerpt from the first chapter (non-adult excerpt):

An eerie smile that tried too hard to be sultry crept upon the stranger's face. It sent a shiver down Byron's spine. Was this man trying to kill or seduce? Either way, he was going to have a fight on his hands. "You sense that I'm dying."

Byron hiked an eyebrow. Dying? He was neither priest nor undertaker and had no solace or service to offer the dying. Regardless, he'd witnessed a lot of death in what he remembered of his life and death never looked nor smelt like this.

The man in the suit continued. "That's sweet." He stepped closer to Byron and curled one hand around Byron's waist. "Do you ever thirst, Byron?"

Byron turned his head to the side and shivered when the man's cold cheek brushed against his skin. What was this guy? Some specter-man hybrid? Some conglomeration of spirit and flesh? A tangible ghost? Some neither dead nor living poltergeist? A man stuck neither here nor there—living between worlds? Maybe all of that was too complicated. Maybe he was certifiably insane. Freaky—that's what this guy was. A freak, plain and simple.

"I like your heat. Your life force is strong, Byron." He pointed his tongue and lightly licked Byron's earlobe. "I need you." He moaned. "Oh, so warm."

"That's too damn bad, because I don't need you." The longer the man held on to Byron, the more the light bulb smell faded.

"You need me. You just don't feel it yet." He dipped his head and ran the tip of his tongue up Byron's throat. After kissing Byron's chin, he whispered, "My name is Kendrick. Nice to meet you, lover." He closed his eyes and pressed his lips against Byron's.

Kendrick's lips were cool, but not the ice cold that his fingers were. When their tongues met, air raced from Byron's lungs. Byron's heartbeat slowed and blood rang in his ears. Panic grabbed his mind. This guy was sucking the very life out of him! He strained against whatever spell Kendrick cast and pushed his hands against Kendrick's shoulders. He pried their lips apart and started coughing for air.

A raven screeched and took flight.

Kendrick screamed and his body curled around itself. "Why, Byron?" He fell to his knees. "Why do you deny me?"

Byron stumbled to the side and leaned on the altar railing. "You're fucking sick!" He knew this was his chance to run and if he could control his legs, he would. His body forsook him and he fell limply to the floor.

"I can't very well feed upon you, Byron." He rolled his head up. "Why do you not want me to live?"

Byron's ears rang, drowning out everything. His vision blurred. "Sick…fuck." Everything in the room grew bright and his eyes rolled back.

"Not the homewarming welcome I had hoped." Kendrick sighed. "Perhaps, I borrowed too much. Pity." He drew himself to his feet and lifted Byron. "Come, my love, let us rest together. You have a lot more to learn and remember."

Acts of Charity by Erotica Writers

2007-07-19T02:06:00.000-05:00

Erotica—stories about characters that have hot steamy sex. Aside from the obvious things such as reminding people that they're sexual beings, giving people a safe place to celebrate being a sexual being, helping sexual assault victims heal just a teeny bit and providing more therapy to writers than readers would ever want to know and a few other things, what other types of good come out of erotica?

I'm going to tell you about two things going on right now.

First, there's "Coming Together: For The Cure" anthology edited by Alessia Brio and being published by Phaze. This anthology will be generating money for breast cancer research. Coming Together: For The Cure website

Second, K. M. Frontain is making a personal sacrifice. The royalties she earns on her title Loved Him 1 will be donated to Gai Écoute, an organization in Quebec that helps GLBT teens who have been turned away from their families. She'll be turning in her donation come January. K. M.'s myspace blog post dated July 07, 2007 explains this in more detail. KM's myspace. Friend her darn it.

Certainly there are other authors who are doing things to give back to humanity and I mean no disrespect by failing to mention them here. If I don't know about the selfless deeds, I can't report them.

So, please, help these Alessia Brio and KM Frontain in their efforts. Purchase those books (Coming Together isn't ready yet) and also buy something else by KM Frontain so she can eat.

I know there are certain religious groups *cough* fundamentalists *cough* and a certain company who has banned me because they run a "wholesome romance website" and my readers (those who enjoy the beauty of male/male couplings) aren't her audience for her "wholesome" business. *rolls eyes*, --who don't see the good that we do. However, I think if they understood how much erotica writers give of themselves through their work and acts of charity like these, they'd be more welcoming of the work that we do.

Kudos to them! Keep up the great work ladies!

Cup

Yes, that's one more thing I can add to my banned from list. Let's see here…my list is now (not in order of occurrence)…

1) Asked to leave a Christian outreach center. (I didn't even get to say anything.)
2) Banned from an IHOP location
3) Snubbed by countless priests.
4) Asked to leave the Methodist church by the same preacher who'd encouraged me to go into the ministry.
5) Banned from the Consumption Junction chat room.
6) Snubbed by a Pagan fellowship board because I have a priest listed in my top friends. (on myspace)
7) Banned by a "wholesome romance" website.
8) Rejected twice by publishers for writing a story that's "too controversial" due to "religious themes" and "rape/torture" themes.
9) Banned from a Christian Outreach chat room. (Once again I didn't even get to say anything.)

It feels like I'm skipping something.

Anyways…

I'm doing AWESOME! Now, if I could only get the Roman Catholic Church to protest one of my books, I'd be GOLDEN!

A garland gay we bring you here
And at your door we stand
It is a sprout well budded out
The work of Our Lord's hand.

~Mummer's Dance by Loreena McKennitt

Thank you!

2007-07-15T00:15:00.000-05:00

When I check my inbox, myspace, LJ or blogspot and I find feedback from readers, I’m always floored and humbled. I’ve often said that I have the best readers in the world and I’m constantly reminded of that.

Thank you, dear readers, for allowing me into your computer screens. Thank you for allowing me to entertain you. Thank you for telling me what you like about my work. Thank you for telling me what didn’t work for you, providing me with the opportunity to grow and giving me a second chance to show you my growth. Thank you for not turning your backs on me when I make mistakes.

I don’t expect to change the world with my work, but if I can, for one brief moment, pull you from the chaos of the world, entertain you and remind you of the beauty of sexuality; then, my work is done.

Thank you for giving me that opportunity. Thank you, The Powers That Be, for giving me a gift to share with the world. Thank you, technology, for giving me a keyboard and spell check so that can I express myself and hide the fact that I’m a horrible speller.

I close with a few quotes from great minds:

The way you define yourself as a writer is that you write every time you have a free minute. If you didn't behave that way you would never do anything.
John Irving (1942 - )

The only reason for being a professional writer is that you can't help it.
Leo Rosten (1908 - )

Why do writers write? Because it isn't there.
Thomas Berger

We do not write because we want to; we write because we have to.
W. Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.
Robert Heinlein (1907 - 1988)

Faith and Sexuality or Why Write Erotica?

2007-07-14T01:43:00.000-05:00

(Some of you may find this post offensive.)

Why write erotica?

That question, in various forms, has to be the most common question asked of me. People understand why someone would want to be a writer. When you tell someone you have stories inside you that claw at you until they're told, they understand.

Everyone—everyone—has some kind of creative outlet in their lives. It might not be as recognized as writing, drawing, singing or dancing, but everyone has something that allows themselves to express their creativity. (Sewing, cooking, prayer, home decorating, gardening, etc.) Thus, everyone understands why someone writes.

What they don't understand is why someone writes erotica. I'm going to tell you why. Other erotica writers might word it differently, but when you listen to what they say, we all say the same thing.

We want to remind everyone that they are sexual beings and, for those who do remember, we want to give you a place to celebrate it.

Sure, we say things like "it's hot" and stuff like that, but the bottom line of what we're doing is celebrating beauty and life through sexuality.

Everyone expresses sexuality differently. Everyone defines beauty differently. For some, celebrating life means highlighting the eloquence of death. For some people embracing the beautiful means surviving ugliness. And for some, those very few people who are truly asexual, they express sexuality through silence and platonic love. Non-expression is a form of expression.

Every single one of us is the product of a sexual experience. Sex brings life—how can we not celebrate and enjoy that? Oh sure, biologically speaking, there are sexual acts that do not carry the potential for creating life…or is that true? Well, maybe not.

If you define creating life as producing a child, then yes. There are a lot of forms of sexual expression that don't do that. If you define creating life as fostering the spirit of living, then all forms of sexual expression do that at least on some level. Alone, partnered, or in a large group sexuality becomes a form of life and fosters the spirit of living.

When we place restrictions on expressing sexuality, we run into taboos and shame. And here's where I start offending people.

I believe religion is the biggest enemy to sexuality. Not faith, but religion. Religion—where you deal with rules and processes of prayer. Religion where you deal with condemnation and "shoulds", "oughts" and "shouldn'ts".

It doesn't have to be that way, but, sadly, all too often it is.

Faith, the mother of religion, is a glorious friend of sexuality. For those who believe in a creator deity, they know their body was fashioned for work and pleasure. They know the pleasure of witnessing a sunrise should be cherished as much as feeling their own skin or their lover's skin beneath their fingers. How better to thank your deity for life than to enjoy that life?

Additionally, sexuality is how we perpetuate the species. (All forms of sexuality including homosexual expressions are based off this instinct. Instinct drives us to do this, but does not promise results.) The creator deity you see when you pray or worship knew this when they created us. The deity planned this. Why would that deity give us such a powerful form of communication and then give us all sorts of limitations on how to express it?

Religion's rules are an attempt at preserving the sacredness of sexuality. I understand what religion is trying to do with this. It's trying to keep the virtue of sexuality from becoming the vice of sexuality.

I don't believe that humans are inherently evil. I don't believe that without religion we'd fall into a pit of destruction and become selfish hedonists. (Not to be confused with selfless hedonism.) I don't believe STD's are punishments for orgasm just as I don't believe the flu is punishment for breathing.

So, why would religion even want to limit forms of sexual expression? I think it's a misguided attempt at keeping us from becoming obsessed with all things sexual (thus a vice). When we do that, we miss out on the beauty of non-sexual things in the world. Sexuality as a vice is detrimental where as sexuality as a virtue is wholly positive. (Note: I believe the line between vice and virtue varies from person to person.)

When I sit quietly and think of the most personal and intimate thing I can possibly do, two things come to mind and I can't decide which one is more initiate—expressing myself sexually or expressing myself through prayer. Both are equally intimate, powerful and beautiful. That can't be a coincidence.

When we're intimate with someone, we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. We express desires and needs that we might not otherwise express. We allow our mouths to be manipulated through kissing and other ways. (That's trusting someone with our breath and voice.) We cannot wield a weapon while someone licks and nibbles our fingers. We close our eyes and allow someone to put their teeth upon our necks. We literally open our arms and give someone access to all of our tender bits. How is that any different from prayer? We're showing the same vulnerability. One cannot fight a god that they worship. And, when you pray and offer your concerns, worries and celebrations are you not allowing that deity a glimpse at your most tender bits?

Humans need language and physical gestures to communicate. Deities do not need these things. So, when we pray are we whispering thoughts or greeting a lover? Some of you just realized I'm saying prayer is having sex with God. And you would be right. Don't believe me? Try praying without words. Clear your mind and just feel the presence of your god(s). Take a quiet moment and bask in the base sensuality of raw faith.

Some of you may think I'm picking on the Christians with this. No, I'm not. Yes, Christians either by design or accident usually end up at the forefront of any puritanical statements. But, they're not alone. Are you familiar with some of the "family purity" practices of Orthodox Judaism? Or some of the sexual limitations of Muslims or Hindus? Yes, even some Pagans have hang-ups. There are extremists in every religion. Extremists manage to scream loud enough to get noticed by the world and some times they scream loud enough and long enough to become tradition.

With that stated, I'll close post…

The next time you wonder why someone would want to express themselves through erotic arts, take a moment to set your religion aside and examine your faith. Perhaps you'll find your own answer. If you don't find it, try praying without words.

Writing Ethical Question

2007-07-13T01:03:00.001-05:00

No, this one isn’t about social responsibility in relation to condom use or SSC in BDSM presentation. We all know how I feel about that. (Actually some of you probably don’t and I should do another post about that.)

This is about providing feedback.

I was out blog hopping several months ago (yes, this has been weighing on my mind that long) and I came across a sample chapter of a book someone was planning on trying to get published.

It was bad. I was real bad. It was POV errors like crazy, completely flat, telling and not showing, painful to read, riddled with grammatical errors bad. If it wasn’t the worst writing I’d read, it was definitely in the top 5.

I kept my mouth shut. This writer wasn’t a part of any crit group with me. He/She did not come to me for feedback. They did include that standard line asking for feedback in the blog post, but other than that, I had not been invited to state my opinion. This was also not on any writing board or anything like that. It was just posted on the writer’s blog.

After a few weeks, I wondered if I should drop that person a line asking if they wanted a crit of the work. I have crits to do and my own WIP’s and contracts to fulfill, so it’s not like I’m wanting for something do. I, simply, started to wonder if keeping my mouth shut was the right thing to do. I keep reminding myself that this person does not know me and has not come to me for help and we all know how well unsolicited advice goes over. Then, I remind myself of my early writing and how it would have been nice to have someone point out some errors before I broke the 100k word mark in Purpose Chaos.

So, here’s my dilemma: Do you think I'm doing the right thing by keeping my mouth shut and not offering unsolicited advice to this writer?

A blogging award!

2007-07-11T21:33:00.000-05:00

K.M. Fontain has named me a Rockin’ Wench Blogger! Thank you KM!

And that has reminded me that I need to show my blogspot a bit more love. I give plenty of attention to my LJ and my myspace, but I neglect this poor little blog. I think that’s because I’m actively trying to be professional here and I don’t want a whole bunch of cross-posting on my blogs.

So, here’s what you can expect from my other blogs.

LJ is my most personal blog. That’s where you get to see me batshit insane. When I fight with bouts of insomnia and I get that spazz session just before crashing, I post it there. I also post fanfiction there. So if you’re one of those “Oh noes! The EEBILS of fanfiction!!!111ONE!!!” Types, then give it a pass. I also do a lot of fangirling there. So, yes, you get to see me at my fanigirling worst with things like, “OMG! Hakkai and Gojyo are so freaking HAWT!” or “OMG! Have you seen the raws of the Burial Arc yet?” or “I have new doujinshi to share!” and all that other great kind of stuff.

Myspace is an intellectual-personal blend between LJ and Blogspot. That’s also where I’ll put out some of my humor such as translating the first few chapters of the Bible in netspeak:

Genesis 1:1 G0d wrote BIOS.
Genesis 1:2-25 G0d slung code.
Genesis 1: 27 G0d used a hex editor and cheat code.
*Adam_01 has entered the chat*
Genesis 2:2 Reboot.

Genesis 2: 16-17 G0d: “Eat this and u phail.”
Genesis 2: 20 Adam_01: :( *sniffle* “lonely”
Genesis 2:21-22 G0d used another cheat code.
*Eve_02 has entered the chat*
Genesis 2:23 Adam_01: “OMG! R0xz0rz! Cyber? Woot!”

Genesis 3: 1 Eve_02: “WTF! No wai! 4 real? G0d sayz dat?”
Genesis 3:2 Adam_01: “Yes wai!”
Genesis 3:4 xXxSerpentxXx: “Caffeine good. Eat FTW!” (FTW=For The Win)
Genesis 3:7 Adam_01 & Eve_02: >.<
Genesis 3:8 Adam_01 & Eve_02: -.-‘
Genesis 3:11 G0d: *tsk*
Genesis 3:12 Adam_01: “She r teh h4x0rz.”
Genesis 3:13 G0d: “WTF!”
Eve_02: *points* “D00d! xXxSerpentxXx is teh sux.”
Genesis 3:14-15 G0d: “FuQ! I r pissed! KOS4LIF!” (KOS=kill on sight)
Genesis 3:16: G0d: “Eve u sux. u phail @ lif.”
Genesis 3:17 G0d: “Adam w/ teh no ballz or skillz!”
Genesis 3:23: G0d: “GTFO muh internets! STFU! U sux x2 !!!111!!!ONE!!!”

Genesis 3:24—and so on: World v2.0

“And so on” until God c:/format with TEH big flood and World v3.0 came out.

Then World v3.5 with the release of the Jesus patch.

World v4.0 is expected around Armageddon.

And I shared Priest Kitty there! (I wrote the caption, but didn’t take the picture.) Love cat macros!

That kind of stuff. I also post writing tips and struggles on that blog. That blog has turned into an odd little mix of things because I have old high school friends, readers, editors, publishers, fellow writers as well as two priests and bishop friended on myspace.

My blogspot blog was intended to be a blog for writers (published, self-published, and not-yet-published.) The intent was to only include things that could clearly be linked to my writing life. So, there was no angsting about my biopsy (which turned out fine), pending surgery, bitching about being broke, or any of that. I think that lack of a personal touch is keeping this blog from feeling like a real blog. Poor blogspot, the bastard child of my blogging life.

So, I come to you with a question. Do you want me to make this blog more personal or do you enjoy the way it is?

The Problems with having a Priest Fetish

2007-07-09T02:34:00.002-05:00

There are several problems associated with having a priest fetish. First, it's DAMN hard to find good priest erotica. As a general rule, I won't publicly complain about someone else's writing. I feel that's unprofessional. However, I've not liked most of what I've found and what I have liked is from a writer who REFUSES to post her stuff and share it with the world (or try to get professionally published.) So, if you know of some good gay priest smut, PLEASE, tell me.

The second problem is that it's difficult to take religious matters seriously if you have the visual. My religious path is an odd mixture of this, that and the other thing. Lately, I've been considering attending mass, because it's one of the few I haven't attended in person. Do you have ANY idea how difficult that is when you find all that imagery a turn on? >.< I can't even look for churches with old and unattractive priests, because the imagery is STILL there.

Another problem is trying to keep it hot without being sacrilegious. The beauty of religious erotica is that it is not blasphemy.

Yet another problem is figuring out which storylines are played out. Is a timid torn priest tired or is an aggressive, assertive and confident priest tired? As a general rule, I do not like the erotica that has the priest going from "hello" to opening his robes in a breath. That destroys my willing suspension of disbelief and as I'm getting to know some priests (yes, I'm actually making friends with priests. No, I do not hide my priest fetish. Yes, I'm being smart and friending only gay priests. *sweatdrop* And that just might be backfiring on me. Oh it's helpful to prevent anything physical from happening, but my MIND is running so fast I can't keep up with it.) But, as I'm getting to know some priests, I'm finding out that they aren't anything like I expected. The percentage that actually keeps that promise of celibacy is…well…small enough to REALLY make you wonder about those seminaries.

This is further complicated by all of the "it's no fun if…" stuff. It's no fun if the priest is a non-celibate priest. (Yes, there are Catholic priests who have not taken a vow or promise of celibacy.) It's no fun if they aren't Catholic priests (Episcopalian priests have the right look, but none of that forbidden fruit thing going on.) It's no fun if they aren't in that SEXY collar and don't even get me started on how unbelievably sexy cassocks are. *bites knuckle* It's no fun if they're straight. Yes, there are plenty of people out there who fully appreciate the sexiness of a straight priest, but for me I want that straight priest either being pursued by another man or longing for one (even if it's just idle curiosity and exploration.)

It also makes it damn hard to write a sex scene with Father Daniel. I want him in his clerical shirt for it, but I also don't want to force that into the story. Also thinking about him tied up on a bed all wanting and full of lust is enough to…well…let's just say you DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT write good erotica one-handed. (Take care of business and then return to the writing or write it and then take care of business, but do not do both at the same time.)

As you can obviously tell, I'm really picky about my priest erotica. Can anyone else feel my pain with this?

EDIT: (updated:4/1/2011)

Judging by the stats, this is a very popular post. It seems a lot of people are seeking religious erotica and/or priest erotica. I have a short (and cheap) title out called Personal Demon .

Here's the blurb:

Temptation in an alb...

Those of the most devout faith face private struggles. When the man inside the priest fights carnal desires, the priest can only pray he has the inner fortitude to resist. Eve succumbed to the serpent. Adam succumbed to the apple. Now, Father Blake Krey stands in a private Garden of Eden tempted by his own Personal Demon.

If you read it, I hope you enjoy it. If you don't read it, I hope you find something that you do enjoy.

About to Sin: Updated

2007-07-04T22:11:00.000-05:00

I think it's nice that after a blog post about religious erotica, I find out that Erotic Dreams has updated my story there.

Ever wondered what would happen if Anand exchanged his back pew for a front one? Read and find out. ^_^

http://www.eroticdreamspublishing.com/EroticDreams

It's free to read. All you need to do is register with the site (which is also free and spam free), log in, click fiction and it's the first story. If you've ever wanted to check out gay religious erotica, this is a no-risk way to do it.

It doesn’t have to be sacrilegious.

2007-07-01T20:15:00.000-05:00

There’s a multitude of genres under the umbrella “Erotica.” One of the genres I particularly enjoy is “Religious Erotica.”

So what is religious erotica and what is it not? First things first, do not confuse religious erotica with inspirational romance. Those are two very different beasts. Inspirational romance is, generally, tamer than erotica and Christian themes are quite common. Religious erotica uses religious themes, of various faiths but Roman Catholicism is favored. Or it uses religious imagery. It plays up the taboo or forbidden element of sexuality blended with faith. It’s the juxtaposition of religion and sexuality.

Maybe it deals with a Roman Catholic priest struggling with temptation. Maybe it’s two members of laity who know this is wrong, but cave to carnal desires. Maybe it’s the setting or an underlying theme.

I’ve been toying in the realm of religious erotica for a while now. Obviously, About to Sin is religious erotica. That’s full on religious erotica that not only has a priest in a sexual situation, but I also use religious imagery in the setting and I make Father Daniel’s faith a major character motivation factor.

Full Circle, by all rights, could be considered religious erotica and there’s not a single member of clergy in it. If I explain fully why this is, it will ruin the moment in the story that Tami Parrington says, “…will shock the shit out of [my readers].” I can tell you this. The book starts in a destroyed sanctuary. Religious history plays a critical role in the story and Kendrick’s faith is nearly unshakeable. If that man had a choice of what to do with his last breath it would either be: stating his love for Byron or praying.

The beauty of good religious erotica, in my eyes at least, is that it respects religion. It’s not blasphemous or sacrilegious. Even after befriending some members of clergy, I’m not ashamed of what I’ve written. I don’t know if they are reading my story or not, but the thoughts of it does make me nervous. I’m not nervous that they might be offended by the story. I’m nervous that I jacked up something liturgical and they’d call me on it. (You bet your ass they’d call me on it too. They’d GLEEFULLY call me on it and they’d NEVER let me live it down.)

One piece of religious fiction that I wish had been more erotic was Tami Parrington’s Hell’s Own. It’s a story about a demon, Alexander, who escapes hell. Lucifer sends guys out to recapture his pet. God sends people out to snag the demon. I wanted Alexander and Michael the Archangel to get it on so bad I could taste it. There’s a hilarious scene where Lucifer calls (yes, calls as in on the phone a vidphone to be exact) God that had me laughing so hard I had to walk away from my computer to calm down. God was so “oh what now” with his attitude and Gabriele nearly soiled his robes. Too freaking funny! What she does with Adam (yes, THE Adam) is pure genius. I don’t know the status of that book and if it ever gets published, I will pimp it. I promise you.

Religious erotica can be light and funny like Hell’s Own. It can be flippant and irreverent. It can also be dark angst. What it shouldn’t do, in my eyes, is cheapen religion or faith.

There are things I won’t do in my religious erotica. I won’t make a predatory priest the hero. I have used it as a plot point and I have no problems making the antagonist a predatory priest, but what makes religious erotica work for me is that it’s the GOOD guy who is struggling with what he thinks is bad. I won’t make a charlatan a hero. If I’ve presented a priest/pastor/whatever as hero, you can bank on me thinking he’s a good guy even if you disagree.

Someone who isn’t into religious erotica may never see the respect in the story. Or they may find the whole concept blasphemous.

I don’t see a dang thing blasphemous about Anand and Daniel using Boy Butter (best name for lube ever) and having a blacklight reactive Pyrex dildo show up. Using confession-like language as pillow talk? Not sacrilegious in my eyes. Getting it on in a confessional booth? Yep, I totally have the balls for that. Playing a game DURING mass? Yes, I’ve gone there. Sex inside a baptismal tub? That’s in Full Circle.

Religious imagery is beautiful and powerful. Sexual imagery is beautiful and powerful. In my mind those naturally go together. The next time you find yourself in church look around and make note of all the phallic symbols. Look closer and you’ll find female equivalents. The Pagans make no bones about what dipping the athame into the chalice means. The Great Rite carried out—symbolic or otherwise. Do others see it when they dip those communion wafers into the wine? Or submerging someone fully into a basin of water? Does anyone look at those long taper candles with the brass heads and NOT see it as a phallic symbol? The shape of most sanctuaries can be likened to a huge intimidating womb add the long wide aisle that divides the pews, and you totally have symbolic representations of sex.

Even when dealing with same-sex couples there’s usually something going IN somewhere—oral sex, finger play, anal sex. Someone is the chalice and someone is the wafer/athame. It’s all the same. The difference is semantics. The union of flesh is one the most powerful things we can experience as humans and that act can produce life. Why shouldn’t we celebrate this? Why shouldn’t we write about it?

(As a side note: Sex can also be completely not worth taking off your socks. Sometimes, it’s just lame.)

Religious erotica dances a very fine line. And that’s a line that some publishers do not want to go near. Some publishers refuse submissions that have a priest or nun in a sexual situation. In my eyes priests, nuns, rabbis, etc have stories to tell and there’s nothing wrong with telling them.

Call for Submissions: Freya’s Bower

2007-07-01T00:21:00.000-05:00

Freya's Bower is looking for submissions to go with a faerie anthology.

Here’s the blurb:

This anth is fantasy at it's highest. An element of legitimate faerie lore research must be present in the story. This is a pet project of mine, and I'm a avid fan of faerie lore, so I'll know if you fudged the details, lol.

Okay, 10K min wc and 20K max. Rating sweet to beyond sizzling. Deadline for submissions is August 1. Submissions MUST have "SUBMISSION: FAERIE" in the subject heading.

I'll select 4 to 5 submissions, depending on word count. Any content is acceptable minus the taboos listed on our Freya's Bower submissions page. Lesbian and m/m content is accepted.

I want to see some well thought out stories. Beautiful faeries with wings and sparkles are nice, but show me some imagination and wow me with strong prose and good grammar/puncutation.

For this anth to be considered for print format, a minimum of 75 electronic copies must be sold (that shouldn't be too difficult with 4 to 5 authors promo'ing), but this does not guarantee print format.

If you have any additional questions, feel free to contact me at editorfaith@sbcglobal.net

If you don’t know about FB. Let me tell you what I know. They have an excellent reputation for not only quality, but treating their authors quite well. Nothing against my publisher, but I do hope to have a title under FB one day. I also know one of their editors, KM Frontain. She’s quite talented and I’d love to work with her one day.

So get cracking on those faeries people!

Chicago or BUST!!

2007-07-01T00:09:00.000-05:00

As some of you may or may not know, I’m desperate to get to Chicago for a visit. (If you don’t know this, then you don’t follow my myspace.) But, I’m a writer. A new writer. And if you’ve been following my blog for any length of time, you know we’re paid less than minimum wage. >.<

So I need Hotel Discounts. Well, I checked out their website for my fantasy-but-it-is-gonna-be-real-dang-it trip and I was pleased with what I saw.

First, unlike some other sites, I quickly found where I typed in the destination city and the prospective dates of my trip. I can’t tell you how many times airline sites have made this a major pain.

The first page of results gave me an at-a-glance of costs and ranks for the hotel. They also provided maps and that helps me figure out how close I’d be sleeping to what is making me crave Chicago so badly. I mentioned ranks earlier, they have these stars that rank all of the hotels. I don’t know if these are user ranks or those official ranks that the hotel industry uses. Probably the official ones.

Wowza, I had no idea Chicago had so many hotels! Geez…if I would have checked all of these individually, I’d gotten NO writing done.

It seems the per day hotel stay will range from $177.00 to $400.00 a night. Ok…can someone tell me what a hotel offers that’s worth $400 for a place to sleep? Are my mountain roots showing with that?

Geez…

Now, when I click on an individual hotel, I get all sorts of goodie information about it. The site calculates my expected cost for my entire trip which is great for people like me who suck at math. The rest of the page is filled with information and pictures of the hotel everything from amenities to property rules.

Maybe I’ve been living under a rock or something, but this seems cool to me. I’ve tried other sites, but I don’t think they were this informative. Out of curiosity, I poked my nose around and checked the rates with one of the hotels directly. This really is cheaper. I refuse to type the price the hotel told me. It’s that scary.

So, everyone cross your fingers for me! I want to visit Chicago so badly I can taste it! The real scary part of this? Is that I want to get to Chicago to visit a priest. >.< Talk about jumping in the fire.

Looking for a rec.

2007-06-30T02:18:00.001-05:00

All I’ve got to say is that googling: priest porn –child ; or googling priest erotica gay does NOT lead to any good stuff. >.<

Sometimes a gal needs a fix that doesn’t come from her own mind. Anyone know where some good priest erotica can be found? Or just religious erotica for that matter? And I don’t mean that without a care jumping into bed crap. I mean good, solid, priest erotica. Someone who is a good priest and faltering. I want to ache for this guy. I don’t want to read about a priest who just casually opens his robes and screws without conscience. That’s just porn in a priest robe.

Shit. I think I’ll just have to write some more. There’s a serious deficit of good religious erotica in this world and someone needs to fill it.

Eight Habits

2007-06-25T00:26:00.000-05:00

I’ve been tagged by JH Bogran.

List eight of your habits.

1)I virtually pet John and Bryan’s dogs nearly every morning. (Yes, I know, that’s sickeningly sweet.)

2)When I’m on a writing binge, I keep my nails painted and I prefer odd colors or as my mother calls it “that horrid stuff I put on my pretty nails.”

3)I’m one of those annoying knee-bouncers and my friend Debbie says the faster I type the faster my knee bounces.

4)I’ve become so accustomed to listening to music while I type, that I wear headphones to check my e-mail even if I’m NOT playing music.

5)During mini-breaks, I refresh my myspace home, check my yahoo inbox and check my g-mail inbox in that order. If I do it in a different order something feels off. However, I check my g-mail first when I wake up and it’s the last thing I check before going to bed.

6)I have my kitchen organized to minimize coffee making speed. I did this by design and on purpose. I can reach the coffee pot, water source, coffee, cups, spoons, sugar and milk all within a half of a step.

7)I write consecutively and I do not type out an outline.

8)I make my character designs by starting with current personality then I use psychology to figure out the backstory. The last thing I come up with is appearance. (About to Sin is an exception because when you see two really freaking hot guys, ya gotta start there.)

And when you hit a road block…

2007-06-20T00:12:00.000-05:00

And when you hit a road block…

Or "This is how writers solve problems."

Ok, so this isn't really writer's block at least the way I understand it to be. Writer's Block is when you're dealing with The Most Evil Blinking Cursor. That's when your mind draws a blank and you either don't know how the story you're working on ends or you don't know how it starts. Either way, ya ain't getting font.

For the past few days…umm…weeks… >.< I've been dealing with a road block with About to Sin. Oh, I know how the story ends. I have it all solved, wrapped up and a nice neat bow on top of it. I'm not even blocked with how the scene after next will play out. That's been mentally written for a while.

Nope. Not knowing is not my problem.

The problem is, I think, that I'm 1) letting myself get distracted and 2) I can't pick which option I want. I'm facing a sex scene and I can't figure out which scenario will better serve the story and character development. Both ideas are valid. Both ideas fit the story. Both ideas make progression. But, which one is best? That's my dilemma. That's my wall. That's what's making me bang my head against the screen.

Option one: That gives me a really hot hurt and comfort kink scene, but there's a logic leap that I don't think I can expect readers to accept. If Something Really Bad happens, would you be thinking about sex? Nope. So, if I want to do that then I need to do a distraction blended with hurt and comfort sex scene. I can pull that off and readers accept that and it would fit the characters, but that means I can't use that card later on. Later on is when I think it would not only serve the story better, but show character growth as well as give the readers a little something they've been wanting.

Option two: This gives me a really hot "what…wait…I don't understand" kink scene. I don't have to deal with the Point of Crisis bringing emotional baggage and I can focus on the conflict of interest between the characters. And there in lays the problem. With Anand's ethical base, I'm not sure him doing this would fit. Oh, he's totally into the kink and the actions aren't the problem. The problem is that he knows Daniel is doing this for the wrong reasons. Sure, he knew that from go, but he thought he could change that. By this point in the story, Anand CARES for Daniel and seeing this destructive behavior is unacceptable. What I DON'T want is to have a character in a sex scene who doesn't really want to be there. So, I have to force his hand somehow. Or…OR I could pluck on his…yes! I can use THAT. I can pluck on his Superman Complex (you've not really seen his Superman Complex yet), manipulate his stubborn streak as well as use the fact that he's a guy. As Billy Crystal said, "Women need a reason to have sex. Men need a place." (However, women are my target audience not men and I need to make this believable to them not just the characters.) But, using the guy thing seems like cheating to me.

I don't want to cheat my readers, but if I focus on his Superman Complex, possessive nature, get him out of this Pit of Angst (yes, you do actually get to see Anand angst and he's not a pretty angster) and then pluck his stubborn streak, I might—might—actually get to pull this off.

Option two will shift The Epiphany to this scene and not the next, but that's all right. The next scene might work better if I don't have call upon technical information that I might not have QUITE right. You can research things to death and it seems like every time I find information, I find something that contradicts it. But, if I do that will I still get the Rip Your Heart Out Point of Crisis scene? Oh yes, sweethearts, I hope to make you cry. I do that because I love my readers that much. Will I steal any power from that scene?

Hmm…guess we won't know until I get it written.

So, I think it's option two. Now…let's get to typing, shall we? And hope I've solved this problem.

About to Sin Updated!

2007-06-12T13:23:00.000-05:00

*sweatdrop*

Nearly forgot to mention this here. *slaps hand* Bad writer! No font!

Erotic Dreams has uploaded part 7 of the story. And it's getting hot, so grab a fan.

Erotic Dreams Website

Porn Versus Erotica

2007-05-30T06:00:00.000-05:00

You could google this and find out all sorts of information, but I figured I’d give my take. By all means, google it and see how others agree or disagree with me.

I write erotica. I don’t write porn and if my editors catch me one more time calling myself a smut writer, they’re likely to inflict serious bodily injury upon me and anyone who happens to be standing near me.

And that confused me.

What’s the big deal, right? A rose by any other name is still a rose, right? Besides, no one really thinks there’s no difference between porn and erotica, right? It’s a joke. No one would read what I write and call it porn or smut, would they?

What my limited exposure to the world of publishing hadn’t yet taught me, at the time of my confusion, is that most people do not realize there’s a HUGE difference between porn and erotica. My little joke did nothing more than help perpetuate that misunderstanding.

One of the unwritten duties of an erotica writer is to help educate the public about our genre. So, here’s an attempt at touching upon that duty.

Q: The length of the story determines whether it is porn or erotica, right?

A: Nope. Erotica, just like the men I write about, come in many shapes, sizes and ethnicities. Yes, “stroke stories” and porn stories do tend to be short. However, just like porn movies, they can drone on for hours while nimbly dodging anything close to plot.

While erotica stories do TEND to be longer than written porn, it’s possible to have a short story that really is erotica and not porn. It’s also possible to have erotic poetry and that tends to be quite short. There’s also a thing called “flash fiction” which are 100-500 word pieces and those publishers want erotica NOT porn.

Q: Oh! So it’s the level of explicitness that makes it porn or erotica?

A: Nope. Erotica ranges from being very explicit to “smoke and mirrors” or fade-to-black sex scenes. When you are looking at a publisher’s catalog make sure you check the rating of the story to ensure you’re buying something that suits your tastes.

A word of caution. Many publishers still list ANY M/M story in the highest or second highest rating. This is due to the subject matter. M/M writers and readers don’t like this, but we have to live with it. You might very well have a M/M story that’s quite tame, but listed as the highest rating. This is where author branding will help readers and authors connect.

I write very explicitly. My readerbase has come to expect this and if I were to change without valid reason, I would be burned in effigy. Never piss off a yaoi fangirl. We’re rabid on a good day.

Some erotica stories are so mild there’s a special category for them. That’s called “inspirational romance.” I should note that some people do not consider these stories to be erotica at all and plant them firmly under “romance.” I am not that familiar with this genre and my limited exposure indicates that “inspirational romance” tends to carry Christian themes, HEA, not-dark, and uplifting stories and very mild sex scenes usually a fade-to-black thing.

I remember asking another writer/editor with a lot more experience than I have what “inspirational romance” was. She didn’t know and finally said, “Prudish praying.”

Personally, I think that’s casting the genre in the wrong light, but I’ve never read an “inspirational romance.”

Q: So…um…the romantic element makes the story erotica and not porn?

A: Nope. Some romance is not erotic and some erotica is romantic and some erotica isn’t romantic and some porn isn’t romantic AND some….I could go on.

I write “erotic romance” which means there’s usually a plot or subplot that involves two or more characters falling in love. (Insert sweet and sickening “aww” here). However, there’s something that needs to be in the story for it to be “official” romance and that’s an HEA.

This is a point that’s HEAVILY debated, but when the “authorities” change their stance, I’ll change mine. (Personally, I WANT this changed.)

HEA is Happy Ever After. Sometimes it’s Happy For Now, but whatever the case, the story ends with the main couple together and happy. Maybe you’ve gone as far as to get them married or just have them living together, but the reader is left with the impression that this couple remains together after “The End.”

That’s why sometimes I say I’m an “erotica” writer instead of an “erotic romance” writer. I will write stories that are called “dark erotica” and those may or may not have a happy ending, may or may not have depressing themes, may or may not have a bad guy that wins, may or may not…I could go on. (LOL!)

Nice and confused about the genre “dark erotica”? Good. Welcome to the club. It’s one of those “know it when you see it” things. I have two WIPs (Work In Progress) which have been stamped “too dark for publication” by a few publishers and editors. I’ve found a potential home for one of them. *rubs hands together*

Q: So, if it doesn’t have anything to do with length (double entendre intended), explicitness or romance, what makes a story erotica and not porn?

A: Now, you’re asking the right question. Erotica has a fully developed story and completely fleshed out character designs.

Q: But, that’s what ALL stories are supposed to have—so what makes a story “erotic mystery” as opposed to regular mystery?

A: Once again, we’re getting into the good questions. Erotic mystery will contain sex scenes and sensual elements that a regular mystery won’t have.

Q: That’s can’t be right. I’ve read “regular” books that have sex scenes and they weren’t listed as erotica!

A: And that would be correct. Here’s the key. The sex in erotica cannot be removed. Important things such as character motivation changes, character development and plot points will happen DURING the sex scenes in erotica. If you skip over the sex, you’re missing out on important parts of the story. In short, skim the sex (and WHY would you do that?) and you’ll be confused.

Some authors will avoid the erotica label due to the believed stigma that comes with it. Other writers will embrace the label erotica, because we know sex sells. Get them with the sex and keep them with the story. Some “regular” authors are starting to label some of their titles as erotica to fuel their readerbases.

So, to recap…erotica has fully developed stories with carefully crafted characters and the sex scenes help move the story.

Porn…well…with porn you don’t get any of that. To be honest, the porn that I’ve read is basically a scene where the characters meet or already know each other, scratch their itches and move on. It’s just sex. There’s a reason why they’re called “stroke stories.” Also, it seems they’re full of telling and not showing. I remember one story where the “plot” was a guy who seemed to confirm his heterosexual status every third line while sneaking a tryst with another man. It actually included the line, “I moved into a 69 position and sucked him off.”

Wow…gee…umm….ice water anyone? Need to cool off after that? Anyone? Anyone at all? Umm…ok…it will be here if you need it.

The whole story went on like that and it was approximately 2,000 words or so. Whereas in “About to Sin” during the first 2,500 words, you get some hot sensuality; but you also, learn that Anand has a strong sense of ethics and that Father Daniel is a tortured soul.

Q: So erotica has a literary element that porn lacks?

A: Oh, now we’re getting into “literary erotica” and that’s…

Q: Please, no more genre talk. You’re making my head hurt. That’s just too confusing.

A: Sorry… in short, some erotica authors do consider themselves “literary authors” and some think that’s pretentious. Your best bet is to find out what the author labels himself/herself and go with that. Since I will vary on genre, I always label my stories.

And if you think genre is confusing on the reader’s end, just imagine what it’s like as a writer. So, I have this story that deals with dark themes, but it’s HEA and there’s romance, but there’s also…and so on. It’s enough to drive ya mad.

Here’s the simplest explanation of genre I can think of and I think it works quite nicely. All genre labels are is where the book would be shelved in a bookstore.

Q: Isn’t it really a battle of gender? Males write porn while females write erotica?

A: You have NO idea and I mean you have NO idea. I’ve met more “gender confused”, “transgendered” and “gender issued” people since I’ve started writing fulltime than I had my entire life. But, the stats do seem to indicate there are more biological females behind the keyboards than males. I don’t know how valid that information is.

Some writers will not reveal their real gender, some will and some don’t self-identify as female or male. Some publications REQUIRE male pennames. Some want gender neutral pennames. My target audience is yaoi fans and those readers tend to look for stories written by women. That’s why I’m comfortable revealing my gender.

I’m not comfortable putting either gender as being focused on porn or erotica. There’s way too much gender-bending going on and some of it intentionally.

The gender of the penname tells you nothing. I come from a yaoi background which is DOMINATED by female authors, artists and readers. Others come from backgrounds where women are viewed as incapable of writing M/M. I happen to find it quite funny when people talk about one author’s work being more valid than another because of gender AND they have the incorrect understanding of the author’s gender.

It seems I’ve confused a few readers too. Some people say I give very feminine font and some say, “If I didn’t know you, I’d sworn that was written by a gay man.”

I consider both of those a compliment.

Do they know this is up in the Sistine Chapel?

2007-05-26T10:40:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I was out looking for things to help get me in the right frame of mind for writing. I came across some pictures of Michelangelo’s The Last Judgment and I zoomed in to get a better look.

The fresco in question, for those of you who don’t recognize the name.

And I discovered something in this section (upper right section of the whole piece).

I don’t want to alter the pic in any way, so I’m not circling it, but…

In the center do you see the dude clinging to the column?

Now, shift your eye down and to the right.

Yes. That is what you think it is. Yes, they do look more intimate than the straight couple that’s beside them.

Proof that Michelangelo was a yaoi fanboy.

We better not point out to the Vatican that they have gay men on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. They’d probably paint over it.

Oh, and don’t look at me like that. It’s not weird to look at fine art as inspiration for writing. I know another erotica writer who writes to choir music.

Website from where I snagged the pictures

8 Random Things (another one)

2007-05-23T23:05:00.000-05:00

Emily Veinglory tagged me so here we go again. I’ll try to come up with things I’ve not used before.

Drum roll…

Eight Random Things about Cupnjava

1)I know a guy who broke his arm while giving a blowjob.

2)It’s impossible for me to hide my smile when I see two men, who seem like a couple, out together in public.

3)I think James Buchanan is a right bastard for making me think of Father Daniel in leather gear and a red ball gag.

4)For the past few days, I’ve been going nuts trying to figure out how to get myself to Chicago for the 26th and 27th. It’s not going to happen and I think I might cry.

5)At a party a friend (gay and male) asked me, “Do you have a tampon?” (I asked why and he told me. Trust me, you don’t want to know.)

6)A drag queen sacrificed a hanger to help me get my keys out of my locked car.

7)Only two high school friends know I helped drag queens dress, with their coins and tuck and tape during my senior year. (Nearly every Thurs and Fri night.)

8)I feel weird holding my husband’s hand in public, because I know same-sex couples don’t have that freedom.

Dust off that font.

2007-05-23T15:29:00.000-05:00

Many epublishers are sending out “critical need” notices for m/m stories. We can’t write it fast enough. I’m not kidding you.

Normally, things go like this. You write a story. You polish it and then you send it out. The other day, I had a publisher come to me asking for a piece.

M/M is on fire now, but that doesn’t mean you can slap anything up on the screen and call it done. You also have to know the house you’re sending it to.

Do NOT send a happy fluffy story to Velvet Mafia. Phaze, as of last time I read their guidelines, specifically requested that there be NO submissions involving priests or nuns. There’s another publisher, the name escapes me right now, that states they do not want the word “cunt” in any submissions. FB and EC have very specific house styles and, no matter how well the piece is written, if it doesn’t meld with their house style, you can forget it. According to the editors I’ve spoken to, most rejections are not due to bad writing, but that the piece doesn’t fit the house.

Chippewa/LAP wants yaoi submissions. For those of you who don’t know, there’s a difference between yaoi (my normal genre) and other types of m/m erotic fiction. There are other publishing houses seeking yaoi. If a house wants yaoi, then they want yaoi.

And, keep an eye on your word count. If a publishing house caps themselves at 90k don’t send them a 115k word piece. If they bottom out at 10k don’t send them a 5k piece. I spoke to a guy the other day whose AGENT submitted a piece that broke the top word count for a publishing house. That agent should have never considered that particular house. Period.

Also, know what erotica is before you give it a go. An erotic story is not a “stroke story.” Oh yes, erotica is hot, but it’s also a full story with developed characters and this pesky thing called plot.

“Critical Need” does not mean desperate.

With all of that stated, if you’ve been thinking about dipping a toe in the waters of m/m now might be a good time.

Purple Prose

2007-05-22T03:38:00.000-05:00

‘Bout damn time I posted this blog, huh?

Recently, I’ve received several questions about purple prose. What exactly is it and why is it bad?

First, google it. I’m not your primer.

Umm…ok…don’t look at me like that.

Fine! I give!

To quote wikipedia…

A term of literary criticism, purple prose is used to describe passages, or sometimes entire literary works, written in prose so overly extravagant, ornate or flowery as to break the flow and draw attention to itself. Purple prose is sensuously evocative beyond the requirements of its context. It also refers to writing that employs certain rhetorical effects such as exaggerated sentiment or pathos in an attempt to manipulate a reader's response.

*woosh*

Hear that? That’s the last sentence flying over everyone’s head. Basically, Purple Prose means something’s been written with such language that the focus becomes the language and not the story. It also means that you’re cheating. You’re trying to manipulate the reader via artificial means—the language itself. And it doesn’t work. It falls flat just like over using an exclamation mark. If you haven’t built the surprise, excitement or anger by the end of the sentence, a simple ! won’t do it for you.

Essentially, if you have someone “lapping the sweet nectar” from someone’s “petals” or “vessel”, then you’re purple. Lapping nectar from petals? WTF are your characters doing? Drinking honey out of tulips?

Sometimes it’s not so obvious. Every erotica writer out there has a phrase or two that they don’t consider Purple Prose, but someone else will. The beauty and challenge of this is how to have something throb, but not have it throb in a throbbing, bulging purple way. That’s a balance every writer must find for themselves.

Often purple prose is confused with juvenile euphemisms.

In a piece of *published* fiction, I read a blowjob described as “vacuuming the tube”. If you’re vacuuming anyone’s “tube” then you’re dang close to needing an ER. Keep the “one-eyed wonder snakes” and “heat-seeking missiles” and all that other stuff in junior high, please. And whatever you do, do NOT, repeat that, DO NOT “take the axe to the beaver” unless your character is killing wildlife. If you have a character who has a “tallywacker” or “winkie” or anything like that, then they ARE NOT old enough to be in a sex scene.

Usually at this point people start asking, “Well, fine, but which words can you use?”

And that’s when I say, “Try writing erotica later. Ya know, after you can say the word ‘cock’ without blushing.”

Fine! I’ll answer the question.

You won’t like the answer.

Seriously, you won’t.

I can’t give you a list of words you can use. That differs from character to character. In “About to Sin” Dr. Anand Singh is perfectly comfortable using “cock”, “dick”, “prick”, “cum”, “jizz” and if he drinks enough, he might let go with “splooge.” If he’s feeling a bit influenced by Father Daniel, then he might use “seed” or “essence”, but those will be rare.

In “Full Circle” Kendrick is comfortable with “cock” and “seed” and a few of the more highbrow words. I fought with my editor (she won) and I put in a few others that stretched his character a bit. *shakes fist at word echoes*

Kendrick doesn’t cuss, normally. There’re one or two spots where he drops a curse word and one of those was for comedic effect.

Anand can rival the crassest sailors and probably cusses too much. (Kind of like me when I’m drunk. I once made an entire sentence with the word “fuck.”)

Father Daniel, as paranoid as he is with all things sexual, probably wouldn’t even use the word “penis.” Bless his heart, that man is so screwed up. If I ever have to write his POV for a sex scene, I expect that I’ll be using the words “down there” a lot.

Speaking of “penis”, I firmly believe that word should stay in a clinical setting along with “anus”. Anything that conjures the pictures from a high school health textbook, should be avoided. Some writers use those words and that’s their call.

“Entrance” – that’s my generic orifice word. “Asshole” feels like an insult to me. I know “entrance” toys with the purple line, but I’m digging my heels in here. And before you call me a hypocrite, yes, I admit, Anand did use “asshole”, but he’s Anand and that’s different. He also used the word “entrance” so bite me.

All in all, this shouldn’t be the focus of an erotica writer’s concern. If you’re running through these words then you’re writing what we call “insert tab A into slot B” sex scene.

Listen to me.

Listen hard.

Take this to heart.

Your readers know how to have sex.

Let’s say that again and repeat after me.

“My readers know how to have sex.”

They don’t need a lesson from fiction. Give enough to allow the reader to visualize the scene, but focus on the feelings and meaning of sex for the characters. Readers know what goes where, but what they don’t know is what this means for Character Name. Focus on the beauty of the moment. Let your characters feel, be and enjoy instead of just pushing and pulling.

About to Sin--UPDATED!

2007-05-18T18:32:00.001-05:00

Erotic Dreams Publishing has updated About to Sin. This closes out the second chapter. The thrid chapter should beging on the 22nd.

If you get a chance to read it, I hope you enjoy it.

Updates!

2007-05-16T23:21:00.000-05:00

The fanfiction for About to Sin has been posted. I've updated my website with information about About to Sin and the fanfiction.

I so freaking THRILLED to have fanfiction! ^_^

Updated Page

Romantic just not for all? WTF!

2007-05-14T14:08:00.000-05:00

Dusk Peterson brought something to my attention that ticked me off.

Hyatt Hotel Targets M/M Author

They WANT you to attend the convention. They WANT your money, but they won't stand up for you at all. Bullshit. Bullshit--plain and simple.

The Author's Own Words

Time to brag!

2007-04-18T18:25:00.000-05:00

I checked my e-mail when I got home from Mom’s house and WOO-HOO! I’d been sent a piece of fanfiction!

Yes! About to Sin has inspired fanfiction!

*happy dance*

*big o’le happy dance*

I know some authors out there find fanfiction to be some kind of serious affront and yes, it is, technically, a copyright violation. If other authors want to be pissed, then so be it.

I am going to be thrilled and honored that someone found my story so inspiring and moving that they felt the need to write fanfiction. I’m also going to be blown away by it.

I probably shouldn’t do this, but I’m trying to encourage her to post it on AFF (adult fanfiction). If she does, I’ll share the link.

13 Things on My Desk

2007-04-15T08:33:00.000-05:00

This is a cool little meme. It gives a glimpse of the writer behind the words.

I stole this from Nicholas.

1)4 coffee mugs
2)One neglected cup of water
3)Bottle of Tums
4)Mail
5)Backscratcher
6)Smokes
7)Ashtray
8)Cell phone
9)A black wooden box that contains a necklace (I move it to my tower when I’m working so hubby knows to not bother me.)
10)A stack of recovery disks that I still haven’t put away from my last crash.
11)Two coasters
12)My computer (keyboard, monitor, trackball and tower)
13)Wrist pad beneath my keyboard

And that’s it. That’s all that’s on my desk. I have a few things sitting on top of my tower, but that’s it.

*looks at coffee mugs*

Three of these really need to go to the kitchen.

The Five Senses.

2007-04-05T22:20:00.001-05:00

Sight, smell, taste, touch, sound—we experience them every moment of every day with some notable exceptions (D/deaf, blind, etc.) And our characters experience them too.

But, do your readers?

We type in two dimensions (height and width), but we need to write in four (height, width, depth and time). Within those four dimensions, we have all five senses.

All writers have comfort zones when it comes to writing the senses. My major comfort zone is sight. If I’m not careful, I’ll give my readers a whole lot of visuals and very little everything else. Taste and smell are my most difficult areas.

When I think about describing a taste or a smell, how do you do that? How do you really show your readers the sweet smell of honeysuckle on the breeze? Or the warm robust aroma of a cup of coffee? Or perhaps it’s a rancid scent of death or the salty taste of a lover’s skin.

What’s helped me is when I take a sip of my coffee, I take a note of how it tastes. A long hard mental note.

*sips*

The aroma of the chocolate flavored coffee hit her nose before the liquid touched her lips. Although the coffee had turned tepid, the scent still hinted at warmth. Whatever the manufacturer used to for chocolate flavoring, reminded her of a distant Hershey bar. The smell, overlaid with sweet, carried an undercurrent of bitterness.

The tan nectar of life flowed over her lips and flooded her tongue. The acidic bite of the mid-grade coffee tingled upon her tongue and the lingering sweetness made her wonder if she added too much sugar to this cup.

Hmm…better, but still needs a bit of work. I got a little purple there for a moment.

Regardless of the type of scene, all four senses are engaged with our characters and, consequently, all four senses need to be engaged with the reader. Anything short of that, and you’re cheating your reader. They key to writing with all four senses is observing with all four of them.

So, you want to be a writer?

2007-04-03T05:44:00.000-05:00

I’ve had several people come to me and ask me how one goes about becoming a writer. The simple answer is that you write a book and get it accepted by a publisher.

Actually, that’s not the simple answer. That’s the only answer.

If you’re really focused on being an author, let me give you a few words of warning.

During the first step, you’ll be in one of two places in your life. You’ll either be working a job that pays the bills until the royalty checks come in or you’ll be fortunate enough to (be fired, on unemployment, living off a family trust, living off family, or whatever) be writing full time.

Most likely you’ll be working some kind of job. This means you will have to squeeze in writing whenever you can. When you get home for your 9-5 and you’re tired, you’ll have to reach within yourself and find the right mindset to write. And this will need to happen in between feeding the kids/cat/dog, doing laundry, spending time with the kids, making dinner, getting the gum out of your youngest’s hair, getting the dog out of the trash, taking the trash out, dealing with the phone calls for your oldest child, going to the grocery store, doctor appointments, therapist appointments, chatting with friends, dinner with your mother-in-law and all of the other wonderful things we call life.

If you’re lucky and you don’t have a regular 9-5, you’ll have a bit more time to get distracted by all the wonderful moving images on TV, internet, and life outside your window.

Months if not years will go by and your novel will finally take some kind of form. Then, you’ll tell yourself that it’s crap and you’ll walk away from it.

Then, you’ll think that maybe, just maybe, it’s not totally crap or that you might be able to fix it.

More time will pass and you’ll finally get to “The End.”

After which, you’ll be forced to nit-pick your beloved novel that contains your heart and soul. You’ll polish it, edit it, cut it, tweak it, fix it and finally, finally, you’ll reach a point where you might consider submitting it to a publisher.

That’s when you realize you have to…

1)Figure out the genre of your book that’s so deep and innovative that it breaks all genre boundaries. Your novel is oh-so-original that it can’t possibly be shoe-horned into a genre label. The publishing industry will be forced to recognize your genius by creating whole new genre’s just for you.

2)Get a reality check and realize none of that is true.

3)No, really it isn’t.

4)Really.

5)Yes, even your novel.

6)You’ll take a hit to your pride and realize that genre labels really do fit your story.

7)Find and create a list of publishers that handle your genre.

8)Realize that you have to create a submission package that includes: a cover letter, synopsis, part/all of the manuscript. You’ll argue with the screen about how you should be able to tell the publishers to read your manuscript and let it speak for itself. You’ll get frustrated and angry about having to take your X number of words novel—that thing you put your heart and soul into—and beat the crap out of it until you break every writing convention and TELL the story in a synopsis.

9)Finally, you have your submission package ready and you start to shake. Your breath goes short and sweat rolls down your back. You look at your composed e-mail and try to work up the nerve to click send. Hours go by. You pace for a while. You give yourself a pep talk. And, finally, you squeeze your eyes closed and you send your baby off to those evil manuscript eating people called publishers.

10)You wait.

11)You wait some more.

12)You wait even longer.

13)You get rejected. Sometimes in very rude ways and sometimes for idiotic reasons. You cry, scream and tell everyone you know how stupid Publisher X is.

14)You go to your next publisher on the list.

15)You tweak the MS (manuscript) to fit their house style. You change margins, indentions, where the page numbers are, and what marks to use for a scene break.

16)You submit and this time it’s a little bit easier.

17)You get rejected.

18)You submit again and yawn while you do it.

19)You get rejected and this goes on and on. Until…

20)You get accepted.

As a side note: I should mention that submission hell (as we so lovingly call it) isn’t necessarily bad. Full Circle, Selling Foxx, Tainted Past and By Invitation Only were accepted by the first publisher that received them. With About to Sin, the publisher tracked me down and asked me to turn it into a series. So, yes, it can happen the first time out of the chute.

Then, editing starts.

You’ll spend the next few months hearing about (mostly) what’s wrong with your pride and joy. Pick your battles here. This is very important. Yes, you can push back against an editor, but if you fight them too much you’ll risk getting a reputation as a PITA (pain in the ass) author. If you really do disagree with your editor tell them so and tell them why. But, pick your battles.

It’s a well-known fact that I don’t like dialog tags and I especially don’t like the word “said.” My editors will put that in my stuff. I don’t fight them on that. It’s a little thing and a personal pet peeve. I will fight them on using the masculine forms of blond and brunet (versus blonde and brunette). I will fight for occasional bits of verbiage. But, I won’t fight over a stupid dialog tag. There are other things where I’ll push back, but for the most part, I try to defer to their experience.

Once the editing is done, you realize that your pride and joy that you tried so hard to polish was quite rough and now you have a golden novel that’s waiting for readers.

This is where the real hard work kicks in. Yes, writing the novel is the easiest part. This is where you start networking and marketing. It’s not enough to write the novel, you must sell it. You get on every board you can find, join every yahoo group you can snag, learn about promo items, loop chats, live chats, and book signings.

You register your copy right with the copy right office. You DO register it, don’t you? You’d better.

Finally, readers and reviewers grab your manuscript.

You wait for feedback that never comes. (This is another place where I’m lucky. I have a very dedicated and awesome readerbase and many of them drop me lines telling me what they thought of my story.) A few reviewers hate you and a few love you.

You continue your marketing and networking efforts.

Then, the first royalty check comes in.

You cry.

A lot.

You just realized the kid working at McDonald’s makes more money than you. You just spent X number of months/years working for way less than minimum wage.

Yes. Expect to be broke.

I know, I know, King isn’t broke and Rice isn’t broke. Well, you’re not King and you’re not Rice. And you don’t want to be. You want to be yourself with your own style, but you do want their royalty checks.

After you realize that you’re not quitting your day job for a while, you experience a stroke of insanity and start the process all over again.

And that’s how you become a writer.

About to Sin--Published!

2007-04-02T15:31:00.000-05:00

Erotic Dreams will be publishing “About to Sin” and they’ve started the series this month. The series is so long that they’ll be presenting it in 2,500 word segments either once a week or every other week (I’ll let you know when the timeline has been finalized.)

This story and some others are available to read FOR FREE! (Please, don’t ask me how they can let readers read for free, but still pay their writers. I can’t figure that one out.) You will need to register with the website, but that’s free too.

To read the fiction:
Go here Erotic Dreams , register, log in, click “fiction” and enjoy!

Summary:

A chance meeting between an out-and-proud ER doctor and a closeted Catholic Priest leads to life changing decisions, confusion and love.

Excerpt:

It'd been a good night at "Swill 'N' Chill" so far. The DJ seemed to on his game with the music. James, the bartender, wasn't fucking up the drinks, and a come-hither bottom-boy spent the past two hours checking me out. By this point, I'd had a few good laughs, a lot of good drinks, and some pretty good dance partners, including Mr. Too Cute For His Own Good.

As the third remix of "It's Raining Men" blasted the speakers, I made my way to the bathroom. It's a good song, but I'd heard my fill of it. Enough was enough. The bass beat vibrated the walls in the unisex-but-mostly-used-by-men bathroom. What was it with gay bars and their unisex bathrooms? Or maybe it was the patrons who didn't bother heeding the sign on the door.

After tending to my business, I washed my hands and checked myself in the mirror. I'm no spring chicken and most of the twinks here tend to bore me intellectually. That's fine. I don't come here for the conversation. When they're moaning below me, I don't care that they started high school while I studied A&P in med school.
I narrowed my eyes and studied a spot on my black mesh shirt. Did some twit spill their beer on me? I pinched my shirt and looked down. What the hell was that? It didn't smell like beer. A little circle of darkened black. This shit better come out or someone was getting their ass beat.

Still pissed about the enigmatic stain, I stepped back and bumped into someone. "Pardon," I muttered just before looking up.

Oh holy hell.

"Father Daniel?"

I have the best readers--correction

2007-03-31T21:51:00.001-05:00

The wonderful woman who sent me the gift, has informed me that it is a sake set! How cool is THAT?

I have the best readers!

2007-03-31T14:47:00.000-05:00

From time to readers will send gifts to writers. It might be something as simple as a birthday card or a note telling us how much they enjoyed your story.

One of my readers, Dynamint, as she is called on LiveJournal attended the Hounen festival in Japan. This festival is commonly called “the penis festival.”

For more information on this fertility festival check out this link.

This is the package she sent me.

A penis (with a face vase), a vulva bowl, a penis incense holder and coupled vulva and penis candies! These will be treasured indeed! Since I’ve started writing, I’ve received a variety of gifts from coffee to gift cards and from porn to jewelry now I have ceramic penises and vulvas!

My First Rejection Letter.

2007-03-28T03:43:00.000-05:00

I pulled nearly everything out of my shed and started going through it. Some things needed to be pitched and some things came inside the house. While rummaging down memory lane, I found what would have to be my first rejection letter.

I’d queried them and they rejected me. They were really rather nice and told me that they thought I was “probably a good writer for someone who wasn’t quite yet thirteen.” The woman who typed the letter went on to explain that all stories presented to them must come through an agent and that they wished me the best in my writing endeavors and life.

On the upside, she told me that I could use the Star Trek characters for anything that wasn’t for pay, but if it were to be published I’d have to get it licensed.

Now, if only my current rejection letters were that nice. Maybe, I should start telling publishers I’m twelve. Oh, wait, that won’t work well for erotica would it?

Looking for an old friend and writer!

2007-03-26T22:04:00.000-05:00

The erotica writing world is small. It seems as if everyone knows everyone else and reputation, good, bad or indifferent, travels faster than introductions.

And yet, I can’t track down a particular writer.

Jennifer and I attended the same college, Christopher Newport University, during my freshman year. She was a English major and at the time I leaned toward history. I laughed and talked to her more than I attended class and it showed in my grades.

She was extremely influential in my life. More influential than she’d ever realize. Jennifer was the first Democrat and feminist I’d ever met—college student by day, stripper at night and erotic writer for SMUT magazine during her free time. I know that some people do not think that stripping and being feminist can exist in the same person. She made it work and she told me one time, “What’s more empowering than seeing men give me the most valuable thing in our society, money, for looking at me in what could be considered a bikini? They grovel. They really grovel.” (We lived in a state that where strippers were and still are not allowed to get fully naked.)

She loved Rocky and Bullwinkle (her secret passion) and bondage (her not-so-secret passion). While introducing me to the gloriousness of Vermont Maple Sugar Candy, she’d tell me stories about Republicans that I’d never heard before. I was raised in the Republican household and hadn’t yet found my own political affiliation.

Jennifer wrote under her real name telling me, “If I write something, I want full credit for it. I want everyone I know to know I wrote this.” She defined what it meant to me to be a sexy, confident, intelligent woman.

After she graduated, she tried to get her Master’s Degree in Alabama. A good ole boy told her, “Ya know, you’re pretty enough that you don’t need college to get a husband.” And she came back to Virginia for her MS.

For as much as I cared for her and as influential as he was in my life, I cannot recall her last name. If anyone knows anyone who fits the above description, please let me know. I’d love to talk to her again. If anyone knows a writer for SMUT magazine (circa 1993 and/or 1994 at least) with the first name of Jennifer, please tell me and I’ll try to track her down that way. Even if it’s 12 different Jennifers.

When I knew her, she was about 5’6” or 5’7”, maroon hair (possibly a natural brunet), had the body to be a well paid stripper and wasn’t afraid to speak her mind about a damn thing.

I.M. Cupnjava's Writing Café

Submission Hell.

Facebook?

2011 Update

Thoughts on Masturbation

OMG!

Ahh...submission hell.

A stroll down my writing memory lane

Writing Workshop: As

New Fetish

Do Something

Indie Book Awards, Full Circle, Personal Demon

Don’t Black or White Me

Tweets, tweets, and more tweets.

Disagreeing with an Editor

Stewart and Cramer

Crazytrain off-loading at Crazytown

Personal Demon released TODAY!

Attention fellow priest fetishists!

Who let this dust settle?!

Update on writing.

Update about my arm.

Now Available! Coming Together: With Pride

The Beauty of a Small Town

Tornados

File this under awesome!

Not dead yet!

About to Sin—Update

YouTube! *shakes fist*

In Loving Memory of Abo

And the good news keeps coming.

Religious Erotica

File this under: AWESOME!

Why...oh nevermind why...(And 2008 writing goals)

Priorities

Awesome news!

General Update

Publisher Closing.

And the truth of the matter is...

There goes that idea. Darn it.

Call of Submissions: Coming Together: with Pride

Movie Rec: “Conspiracy of Silence.”

My first review—Five Cups for Full Circle!

Questions for Characters: Answers!

Calling all Questions

Wow!

A Blast from the Past

About to Sin--Updated!

Today we bid farewell to...

And life keeps getting better!

Writer's Blogs

Bad Book.

Don’t preach to your reader.

Tropical Storm Gabrielle

Advice site.

The Writing Process Part Three: Writing Phase

Books Meme

Goals—progress update.

Whew.

About to Sin: Updated

Wish me luck!

Home

Surgery Tomorrow

The Writing Process: Q& A Break.

Full Circle rankings! Awesome news!

Live Chat-tomorrow.

The Writing Process: Part Two Vague Plot

The Writing Process: Part One the Preliminaries

August is Anal Sex Month!

Full Circle release date!!

Acts of Charity by Erotica Writers

Thank you!

Faith and Sexuality or Why Write Erotica?

Writing Ethical Question

A blogging award!

The Problems with having a Priest Fetish

About to Sin: Updated

It doesn’t have to be sacrilegious.

Call for Submissions: Freya’s Bower

Chicago or BUST!!

YouTube! shakes fist